... Is a long time. Well, relatively speaking. 72 months is how long it will have been this time next week since I first registered at Susan's Place. Almost six years ago someone very scared, very unsure, and almost eyeing a fresh pair of underwear the whole time, decided to go ahead and take the plunge.
I had debated with myself long and hard over whether to write this. Indeed over what I could possibly say that would mean anything. In the end, obviously, I decided to go ahead. It's not terribly interesting, or poignant, or anything like that. So I wouldn't blame you if this point is where you get to and decide to go check out the good stuff.
However, before you do, let me just say thank you. For making this site what it is.
If you're still reading, well, first of all I'd like to elaborate on that a little, if I may. This site has made a big difference in my life. In a few ways. Some good, some... Not so good. But all have been a learning experience. And allowed me to grow as a person. It has allowed me to meet people who have been in my life ever since, and who I would be crushed to ever lose. It has allowed me to... hmm... to try and help those needing it. To offer comfort, or support to those in pain. In some ways it gave me a purpose at times when I was feeling adrift.
I don't know if anything I've done, or said, has made a difference... I would like to think that some little thing I did, or said, put a smile on someone's face for even just a moment. Or there was a time someone didn't feel quite so alone. But even if not, it has made a difference to me. Being here has allowed me to feel a part of something. Watching, and learning from you all, seeing the countless different ways you approach life, and the challenges you face, has made me evaluate and understand many things in my own life.
I'm not going to single out people for special mention. Partly because there have been so many folks I've had the pleasure of knowing in the time I've been here that to do so would require a hundred monkeys at a hundred typewriters to even come close. But also partly because I don't want to miss anyone out. So instead I'll talk in more general terms. And just say thank you. To everyone. Those who are no longer here, those who are here but don't say much, those who love to chat, and even to those who haven't yet taken that step in registering and becoming part of an exceptional community. Thank you. Thank you for making this site a place to come when you're feeling low and have people give of themselves to help raise you up. Thank you for making this site a place to come when you're feeling lost and seeing that one post, or point of view which inspires you and makes everything suddenly click into place. Thank you for making this site a place to come when you're just feeling lonely and want some company.
Thank you. You may not realise it, or think you're making a difference, but you are. The hundreds, or thousands of voices here may not always be in harmony but they're sure as hell never silent. And that is something which, in itself, is a blessing for someone who has been alone with their thoughts for far too long.
I have not been as active, or engaged, as I perhaps should have been, over the recent months. I... have not been in a good place, mentally speaking. For that I apologise. However I have made a start on trying to get past that, so hopefully things will pick up soon.
Um... anyway, I've been rambling on far too long, so I'll wrap it up now by just saying... well... way back in 2008, a scared young(ish) girl came looking for a friend, and instead found more than she ever dreamed of.
For that, you have my eternal gratitude. Keep doing what you do, folks, because you're all awesome.
~Lauren.
