I feel for you. Such an uncomfortable, scary situation. You just never know how far people are willing to take it.
One time during my earliest transition points, before I went completely out I was coming out gradually, I was wearing very basic feminine tops, colored nail polish, pretty earrings, a few other minor details to slowly bring out my female side, but still looked like a guy. I was working at the toy store then, sitting in the break room having a snack. Was working dayside at the time because even though I was overnight shift sometimes they tried to save a buck when things got slow and I was moved to days without that extra dollar difference in pay.
Well, now even though quiet always few of words, I wasn't ever one to be completely rude, so anyone sitting nearby or coming by would get a nod of acknowledgement or a quick smile or simple hello. Well, one day with me being fixed up the way I was (again, not really girly, more like a pretty boy), one of the workers, a bike assembler came in, I give him a quick smile not thinking anything of it and continue eating. Well, moments later he comes up from behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders and tells me how handsome I am. Being a virgin and never having anyone ever touch me like that, because the way he was doing it was more than just massaging someone's shoulders, I completely tensed and froze up. It didn't feel right. And he started telling me how I could come over to his house. Some other words I can't recall that startled me out of my stunned state, I tried to shake him off but he held on until I yelled at him to get the f@#$ off of me!
He left me then. I was still sitting there for a few moments trying to understand what just happened to me. My nerves were shot and my extremities were tingling, probably wasn't breathing during that whole encounter. I got up to use the restroom, but again, not really out yet, not portraying myself as a woman yet (no therapy, no hormones, but had come out that I wanted to be a girl to my family), so to the men's room I went. He was in there. I didn't want to show that I was scared so walked passed, I did my business and got out quickly, he watched me like he wanted to eat me up. But I had to go after that ordeal (didn't want to piss all over myself) and still while pondering using the women's room didn't yet have the courage to enter it, and again, still portraying myself as a guy.
I wasn't sure what to do. I had not only been sexually harassed but touched inappropriately as well. So much as I didn't want to I went to the managers about it. I told them every detail that happened, writing it all down as well for records. They said they'd have a talk with him. Afterwards I see him in the office, them talking. Later they tell me that he said (via through another coworker as an interpreter) that he didn't do no such thing nor said anything to me because his English wasn't that good, so he couldn't possibly have carried on any conversation like that with me, and well, no witnesses, its my word against his regarding any of it.
Whether they believed me that he did say and do what he did, I don't know (why would I make up such a thing?), all they did was tell him to stay away from me so that there wouldn't be any problems. It was also hinted at me about how I was dressed, the earrings, nail polish 'n stuff, yeah, I was asking for it. The guy while he did have a heavy Spanish accent, spoke pretty good English, and get this, he was married and had small children too (I forget who told me and when). Well anyway he didn't bother me after that, at least not up close, still whenever he walked by enough to see me I caught him looking for more than a few seconds. I did my best to ignore him and not let it intimidate me; it did, how could it not.
Sure, there may be others that think, what, that wasn't much, get over it, its not like you were raped or something. But something like that could be somewhat traumatizing for someone who'd never had experience with such contact, I've never had any kind of intimacy and this jerk was trying to feel me up in the break room. That scenario messed me up pretty bad for a while. This could still be what keeps me uncomfortable with close contact with others, especially men. Deep down I'm still recoiling from that sickening touch of his.
There was a time later, also working day time, same store, they were trying something new, getting workers to have to do a bit of time once in a while as door greeters. They knew I was extremely uncomfortable with this but made me do it anyway. I stood there mostly fiddling, but a nervous smile or welcome to each customer that came in. I had at this time already come out there that I was transsexual, and shown them the letter from my therapist and was dressing full female attire, this includes a stuffed bra. Most people didn't take a notice, but then these two guys come in, I greet them as I'm supposed to, they stop and take notice of me, kept looking at me, and I knew why, it was my adam's apple they were noticing and said some things to each other, smiling and chuckling. Then one said to me that I was not a woman, that I was a man. I denied it. Yes, you are he said again. No I'm not I repeat, getting antsy. Yes you are, and gesturing at my throat. I said so what. They smiled and laughed some more and mentioned how I wouldn't be dressed like that in their country. That encounter shook me up pretty bad even though there wasn't any touching, there was a hint of threat there. Not just the typical comments like "are you a guy or a girl?"
All my years living my life as a trans-woman I always pass as a cis-woman with one exception, that damn lump at the front of my throat, big give away for those that know to look for it. Ever since then I've always kept my head slightly down. But, I am taking things better in recent times, I've gotten to the point where I stand tall and keep my head up more. @#$% it.
