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just wondering if your parents were aware of your difference early on

Started by stephaniec, June 05, 2014, 11:16:24 AM

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Joelene9

  My mom knew there was something.  She had me in a dress on one Halloween.  She thought I got over it.  It didn't surprise her when I came out in 1977 and out of the Navy for 2 years.

  Joelene
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Kylie

My parents definitely knew and feared something, but they never asked.  I think they were afraid to know and still are.  They found my clothes stash once, and they always steered me away from female typical activities.  I wanted to play the flute and violin like all of the other girls, and instead got stuck with a saxophone and a cello.  When I was in my early thirties, my mom was still at it....a friend sent me a quiz on fb about what hills character you are, I took it and my mom promptly admonished me in the comment section.  Obviously she was and still is scared that someone will see her son as less than a normal hetero male.  So sad.  Even sadder, I got Lo on the quiz.  It ruined my day!
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Janae


My mother told me that she always knew I was different. She said she couldn't pin point what it was, but she knew it was something. She said I was a sad child at times and she didn't know why. I'm sure thinking about things now that she knows I'm trans it's like light bulb. I wasn't aware what I was for yrs. I just thought I was a fem boy. It wasn't until age 11, when I started to wonder what I'd look like with long hair, that I started looking at my face and becoming aware that my face was a lot softer than other boys. It was gradual, but through my teens I learned more and I came to the realization.


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Miyuki

My parents claim they didn't notice anything, but they can also be pretty oblivious about these kinds of things. Considering that this is what I looked like at three years old, I think it's safe to say there were signs. ;) I did go really heavily into repression mode pretty early in my childhood though, and became very self conscious (maybe even a little paranoid...) about doing anything that might be perceived as being too feminine. Then again, I also showed little interest in things that were very masculine either...
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calico

After my surgery I went to my mom's to recover. During the time there we had several conversations about my growing up of which, my mom said she always knew I was a girl, but due to the times and the area we lived as well as several other influences she ignored it and just deemed me as different. She said from my first footsteps to my first words she knew.  But the pressures of other people to raise me "right"  and to correct my "ways" made her try to raise me  as "normal".  Lol when thinking back I remember wanting several girl toys to which she got me something else,  I remember being told to quit bobbing as I walked as well.  Later on when puberty hit.......  Well that was a disaster,  my inner dysphoria was so bad and my subconscious "knowing" something wasn't "right" but couldn't put a word on it ended up with me in several psychiatric hospitals to find out what was wrong with me.

"To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity."― Irving Wallace  "Before you can be anything, you have to be yourself. That's the hardest thing to find." -  E.L. Konigsburg
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Sammy

My parents once referred to me as some kind of "pathology" and wanted to show me to psych. I overheard that conversation, totally freaked out and stopped speaking to them about skirts and other stuff (I was 7 or 8 y.o. then).
When I talked with my mom about possible childhood signs, at first she denied everything (cause she indeed had forgotten) and then she started to vaguely remember things, saying that she thought it was just a phase which went away.
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Ms Grace

When I came out to my folks my mother said she had to acknowledge that I hadn't been like the other boys my age when I was growing up. I certainly avoided engaging with most other boys, especially in groups, avoided most typical boy activities and games, preferred to do my own thing. Guess she could see that but didn't understand what it meant.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Sammy

Quote from: Ms Grace on June 06, 2014, 03:06:51 AM
When I came out to my folks my mother said she had to acknowledge that I hadn't been like the other boys my age when I was growing up. I certainly avoided engaging with most other boys, especially in groups, avoided most typical boy activities and games, preferred to do my own thing. Guess she could see that but didn't understand what it meant.

Yeah, back in those days it was mostly "Your child is not like the others".
"Why so?" "Dunno, but there is something which is different".
Lol, 10 years ago I was sure about having indigo condition :) :) :).
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eli77

My folks always just thought I was gay. I am, but the other kind. :P

Still, when I came out there was a resounding lack of surprise. More like: "well, that makes sense."

It's funny, because I didn't really feel, when I was in it, that I was giving a ton of signs or anything. I mean, I had almost all boys as friends and I didn't play with barbies or adore pink or anything of that stuff. But I guess the way I was and looked and moved and all that kind of did it. I mean, I got called "elf" in primary for looking so fey... and a lot of adults thought I was a girl until they were corrected - I spent my first day of school with everyone thinking I was a girl actually.

I'm really lucky that I grew up at a time and in a place where the worst I had to suffer was some verbal abuse and harassment.
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LordKAT

I keep thinking that flunking kindergarten for not socializing with the girls should have been a clue.
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Satinjoy

They knew and felt completely helpless.  Theyt tried to help me but the redneck social envionment was too much to overcome and i developed the male persona to protect me, but there were many issues.

So it was no surprize when I told Dad last year about my dilemma.  Took me a year of gently revealing peices to fully come out.
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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Northern Jane

My parents certainly knew from infancy that there was something "different" about me but they pretty much ignored it. It didn't become an issue for them until I started school and vigorously resisted sexual segregation and being lumped with the boys. My "difference" became a source of considerable conflict with my mother and by puberty I was becoming quite vocal about saying I was a girl, not a boy. Unfortunately that was the early 1960s and transsexualism was virtually unknown.
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stephaniec

those earlier years were something else. So glad things have changed . I know when I hit my late teens I used to read stuff in a in a library at a catholic University. Because of my gender problem I was researching transsexual surgery and the books they had in the library bordered on disturbing .They had very sad looking of men in dresses that had the operation. It kind of stopped me from researching for awhile. It might of been because it  was a catholic university or just that there wasn't that much good information at the time
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Sammy

Quote from: stephaniec on June 06, 2014, 06:28:34 AM
those earlier years were something else. So glad things have changed . I know when I hit my late teens I used to read stuff in a in a library at a catholic University. Because of my gender problem I was researching transsexual surgery and the books they had in the library bordered on disturbing .They had very sad looking of men in dresses that had the operation. It kind of stopped me from researching for awhile. It might of been because it  was a catholic university or just that there wasn't that much good information at the time

Yup! When I was 13, I stumbled accross an article about transsexualism (that article allowed to finally figure out what was wrong, lol), but yes, it only covered the physical/surgery part and no hormones were mentioned whatsoever. Those pictures/photos did not look very attractive and I quicky picture myself with some added parts and some parts chopped off... and yes, that image was quite disturbing. That article was quite typical for Soviet times, so I still wonder how people managed to get through all that hustle back in the USSR (because they obviously did).
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ashrock

Quote from: Miyuki on June 05, 2014, 11:21:25 PM
My parents claim they didn't notice anything, but they can also be pretty oblivious about these kinds of things. Considering that this is what I looked like at three years old, I think it's safe to say there were signs. ;) I did go really heavily into repression mode pretty early in my childhood though, and became very self conscious (maybe even a little paranoid...) about doing anything that might be perceived as being too feminine. Then again, I also showed little interest in things that were very masculine either...
Miyuki.... You and I could be twins, every single thing about you say is well, close enough to exactly what Id say that sometimes I read your post and think, I don't remember typing that, Oh wait, Miyuki my secretary must have done that.  Wait, I don't have a secretary...
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LittleEmily24

Quote from: Miyuki on June 05, 2014, 11:21:25 PM
Considering that this is what I looked like at three years old, I think it's safe to say there were signs. ;)

Dear lord, you were such an adorable baby. xD (sorry, i have a weakness for cute babies) Sorry for the useless topic response, i just wanted to say this lol
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EllieM


I was born in the 50's, lived in a small industrial community far from any cities. Not a good place to be anything but CIS and hetero. If my parents suspected anything, they never let on. I was terrified of my difference when I was a kid, had absolutely no clue what it meant. It was terribly confusing. I can't ask them now, they are both gone, but I think they may have known something was different about me. When I was a freshman at university, they had a pastel done of me. It remained hidden for fourty years, unlike those of my brothers. I discovered it rolled up in a tube a few years ago when we were emptying my late mother's house.

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Elanore joey

my mother said she always had it in the back of her mind but i think my dad was just blind to anything like this until recent times
we are all beautiful in our own way its just some people don't see it :-*
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Kyler

I think, for the longest time, my mom just thought I might be a lesbian... She had asked my ultra-christian sister what she would think if I was a lesbian when I was like 14. But when I came out, she was pretty much like, yeah, not surprising.
This thread made me dig up what she said to me and it kind of made me cry.

"The day you were born, I was surprised you came out a girl.  You have been different all your life.  Before you were 2 I tried to put you outside with a sundress on, you refused and cried until I put shorts on under it. 
It is better to be true to yourself and be happy than make everyone else around you happy.
I love you regardless, you are MY child."

Then an exchange or two later, she was like, "I have shampoo I don't like, do you want it?" So I guess the information wasn't a smack to her face at all.

My mom was never against my boyishness... She let me buy and wear all the boys' clothes I wanted except the few times, like communion, she tried to put me in a dress for tradition sake. And she definitely had a thing for me having butt length hair. She told me the only time that I've EVER upset her is when I cut it into a mohawk when I was like 16.
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stephaniec

Quote from: Kyler on June 07, 2014, 04:41:26 PM
I think, for the longest time, my mom just thought I might be a lesbian... She had asked my ultra-christian sister what she would think if I was a lesbian when I was like 14. But when I came out, she was pretty much like, yeah, not surprising.
This thread made me dig up what she said to me and it kind of made me cry.

"The day you were born, I was surprised you came out a girl.  You have been different all your life.  Before you were 2 I tried to put you outside with a sundress on, you refused and cried until I put shorts on under it. 
It is better to be true to yourself and be happy than make everyone else around you happy.
I love you regardless, you are MY child."

Then an exchange or two later, she was like, "I have shampoo I don't like, do you want it?" So I guess the information wasn't a smack to her face at all.

My mom was never against my boyishness... She let me buy and wear all the boys' clothes I wanted except the few times, like communion, she tried to put me in a dress for tradition sake. And she definitely had a thing for me having butt length hair. She told me the only time that I've EVER upset her is when I cut it into a mohawk when I was like 16.
I really don't know what my parents thoughts about my situation was. they tryied a little aversion therapy once but gave up for some reason. I used to have a boy friend when I was about 5 or 6 and I used to walk around the neighbor hood holding his hand. My mother told me after seeing this or hearing about it that I couldn't talk to him any more. that lasted a couple of days. I think they just figured I'd grow out of it and they left me alone and never mentioned the cross dressing. I would of loved though if they put me in a dress for communion.
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