Anyone else have this issue?

[Umiko]

Its happening more and more and its really annoying. Men keep looking at me like i'm some piece of meat. i even had one follow me half way home. its getting to the point were i'm getting afraid to take hormones seeing as my genes are starting to kick in. anyone else faced this problem? and if so, how do i deal with it

[ashrock]

Afraid as in being seen as more a piece of meat? Or afraid that they wont make you look more feminine than you do naturally?  Don't take this the wrong way, lots of trans women attract gay male attention (not after transition, is that what you fear, losing this attention?) and that likely applies here (myself included, though for me it was unwelcomed attention).

[Umiko]

because my female genes are becoming more dominant, still excluding the hrt, i'm taking on more female appearances and an aura around me. i fear if i start taking hormones, i might end up being, well, bad things could happen if i go out alone. i had this same problem before puberty. idk, could it be my hips.

[ashrock]

Well hrt wouldn't cause harm there... No, I don't have that problem but I wouldn't let it scare me if I did, they are amazing for my mental health.

[LittleEmily24]

I have to agree with ashrock... I wouldn't let fear stop me from transitioning.. I mean cis-women get those "piece of meat" stares too, and they're already women lol. Welcome to the world of men thinking wit h their D***s.

I still get "Someone should take care of that problem" stares that scare the hell out of me.. But i just brush it off, and I don't doubt that in the future i will get looked at as a piece of meat as well (ok, I'm being a bit optimistic about my future), and when I do, I'll do the same thing I do about the people who stare at me like they are ready to hunt... Just ignore them and stand proud.

Though, if you truly feel that afraid, get some self defense classes... I'm 6'1" and people don't usually mess with me based on that fact alone, but even I and my wife are still considering self defense classes.

[Umiko]

i have a pair of nice skinny jeans i cant wear cuz of this -.- i always wears combat boots so i can stomp some toes but it my playing "hard to get' in their eyes is apparently a huge turn on for them o.O i'll take self defense course. i used to be in karate so i should go back. going to be a P.O so its a win win for me lol

[Megan Joanne]

I used to get those looks all the time (occasionally still notice those types of stares, but pay them no mind), even before HRT (but fixed up pretty), and usually it was when men were in groups (then you have all these eyes on you, salivating). But, it didn't bother me much, so long as that is all it is, think of it as a compliment, they find you hot, what can they say, they can't help but look. You'll get used to it and after a while may not even pay them any attention.

[Umiko]

well i guess there is some positives. i'll pass a lot easier and my voice has increased in pitch instead of dropped 

[JulieBlair]

I was talking about something like this with a girlfriend this morning. 

"Men fear that women will make fun of them, Women fear that men will kill them."

Sadly there is truth to that.  Trans women of color are at the highest risk of violence of any tracked group in the US.  Young women always attract unwanted attention.  Young trans women attract even more. 

If you are already being noticed before HRT, you will be more so after as your body begins to take its correct shape.  That doesn't change the imperative; if you are a girl and don't do what you can to express yourself as one, you will never be whole. Never be complete.

You can do what all women do to to try to be safe.  Avoid going out alone at night in poorly lit or mostly empty places.  Know what is going on around you, when you are out and alone, don't get lost in music or anything else.  Don't present like you are a victim!  Hold your head high and move with purpose.  There is other stuff like having your keys in your hand before you get to your car.  Try to never park in a parking garage at night. And more...

The point is that as women we are more vulnerable than as men, but if we choose, we can minimize that by pretty simple behaviors.  I hope you are always safe.

Stay aware, stay safe,

Julie

[Umiko]

I was talking about something like this with a girlfriend this morning. 

"Men fear that women will make fun of them, Women fear that men will kill them."

Sadly there is truth to that.  Trans women of color are at the highest risk of violence of any tracked group in the US.  Young women always attract unwanted attention.  Young trans women attract even more. 

If you are already being noticed before HRT, you will be more so after as your body begins to take its correct shape.  That doesn't change the imperative; if you are a girl and don't do what you can to express yourself as one, you will never be whole. Never be complete.

You can do what all women do to to try to be safe.  Avoid going out alone at night in poorly lit or mostly empty places.  Know what is going on around you, when you are out and alone, don't get lost in music or anything else.  Don't present like you are a victim!  Hold your head high and move with purpose.  There is other stuff like having your keys in your hand before you get to your car.  Try to never park in a parking garage at night. And more...

The point is that as women we are more vulnerable than as men, but if we choose, we can minimize that by pretty simple behaviors.  I hope you are always safe.

Stay aware, stay safe,

Julie

thnx jul. i actually decided to wear my skinny jeans again. one guy was licking his lips as i walked by but i tried to focus on the store i was going and it eased me a bit, though i did hear foot steps behind me

[stephaniec]

thnx jul. i actually decided to wear my skinny jeans again. one guy was licking his lips as i walked by but i tried to focus on the store i was going and it eased me a bit, though i did hear foot steps behind me

sad to say , but this is what happens to woman daily. I was on a bus a couple of weeks ago and this Neanderthal got on and sat a close as he could to me and stared at my legs the whole time I was on the bus.

[Umiko]

sad to say , but this is what happens to woman daily. I was on a bus a couple of weeks ago and this Neanderthal got on and sat a close as he could to me and stared at my legs the whole time I was on the bus.

same thing happens to me all the time but i dont have my legs exposed so they just gook at my hips.

[Umiko]

Get used to it, beautiful. They'll never stop looking. I carry pepper spray and a taser with me in case another one of them gets handsy, but so far they've all been tolerable. I get looked at, stared at, hollered at, followed, glared at by guy's wives/girlfriends, and it can be scary. But it's just an unfortunate aspect of being a woman you'll have to get used to. It's a fact of life for us from like 10 years old on. Looking back on the looks I got at 10-17 though really creeps out. At least now I am an adult. Be prepared to hear and see some really foul stuff.    One of the worst ones in my opinion is when a guy looks at me and then makes a V with his fingers in front of his mouth and flicks his tongue in it. Makes me feel like throwing up every time.

My best advice is this: don't acknowledge it. Just keep walking. Pretend you didn't see or hear the vile thing you just saw/heard.

Good luck, girl. 

OMG! i'd kick the guy in the stomach for doing that. not trying to be violent but thats something i got tortured with all my life. thats something i couldnt ignore

[Lauren5]

No, not really. Beyond an occasional "you look good" or "you look cute" before and after full time from family and friends, most of the attention I get is negative, although I don't and didn't get terribly much attention.

[Umiko]

I have definitely thought about kicking or doing something, but that would just be putting myself in a potentially worse situation where something truly awful happens to me. A gesture mimicking giving me oral sex isn't going to hurt me nearly as much as being raped would. I don't ever want to be part of rape statistics. I have a really close friend who was raped, and she's still really messed up by it almost 6 years later. So it's best to just ignore these men than confront them. We can't change them, but we can protect ourselves at least.

yea, rape isnt something i want to be put into again. its just so freaking annoying but like the old saying goes, boys will be boys 

[Umiko]

Yes, well, boys and men will be boys. They all need to control their junk though. If I saw some really hot guy walking on the sidewalk I wouldn't pull him into an alley and rape him just because he got me turned on. I've received the 'how to keep yourself from being raped' talk so many times since puberty that it's sickening. How many boys get the 'hey, don't rape' talk? We, as humans, are able to control our primal urges and desires. Why do we give so many men and boys slack with that old saying 'boys will be boys'?

its society. men are considered superior creatures and women should just fall in line and do as they say. it basically dates back to adam and eve type of deal. women were created from the rib of adam thus people use that to say "men cant do no wrong" honestly, men are the most vicious creatures in existence and sometimes i wouldnt mind dropping the male killer bomb but there are some really good men out there, just they are so rare -.- if a 15 year old teenager raping a 9 year old is considered right in the eyes of society, might as well make murder legal because now that child is good as dead.

[Umiko]

just seems like my past is coming back to bite me. ever since i came out, my nightmares got worse, my paranoia is through the roof, and men, not just gay men but straight men as well are starting to notice me. my hips toned out so when i wear tight fitting clothes, its over. i may as well stay in the house and lock myself in my closet. its worse than what it was before puberty hit me

[Umiko]

There's no need to lock yourself away. Over time, like every other woman in the developed world, you will learn to deal with the feelings you experience due to men and their caveman-like behavior. You may even begin to feel a sense of satisfaction when one just looks at you kindly instead of saying or doing something disgusting. That's normal too. You'll get the hang of it. We all do. Promise. 

its those men with the kind smiles that turn my knees to jelly lol. but usually they end up being jack arses. oh well, i tried dating men, i almost pulled out my hair because they are just so complicated. i'm getting better at ignoring the BS. its just those ones that keep stalking. i think one knows where i live o.o