When transwomen mention they are getting hit on like crazy (around gay venues..)

[Lauren5]

Haven't been hit on offline since September, and that was two gay guys (who said my being trans was ruining the gay image, dunno where he got that from, I'm in no way a gay man) so that bothered me.
Most of the time I don't get hit on, usually people (probably drunk) say insulting things rather than hit on me, even all dolled up with makeup and everything (although last time I was sweaty from playing football, that may have made a difference)

[mandonlym]

Pretty much never get hit on by gay guys regardless of how I present.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

I know cis girls who get hit on by "normal" dudes all the time,like literally every single day...

I  think I  get the question,
in some cases that kind of attention  is different  when  it comes to  trans girls
mainly cause some are getting hit on by gay guys or ->-bleeped-<-s and confuse it for "normal" hitting on thinking that they are attractive as cis?
eeeer is that what  you re trying to say? if I even made any sense...

I had guys hitting on me and it was quite obvious that I was passing as cis to them, but personally instead of thinking im attractive I get more insecure...

[HoneyStrums]

Wait, Im a bit confused.
Do you mean.

That, If we frequent gay Ville and receive a lot of attention, and mention it. (ohhhh)

Ok I get you (I Think), your thoughts are along the lines of, If its male attention is gay ville, its not necessarily an appropriate representative of cis straight male attitude considering you believe a males presence in gay ville compromises that?

As far as ones attraction goes, its a reflection ones personal environment, this includes ones personal circles. So it is fare to say that a trans persons experience of suitors in one area is not an adequate reflection of what it would be like for another trans person.

But this is the same for everybody. why? because everybody has their own ideas of what they find attractive. But Yes I am aware that my experience in gay ville might be a lot difference in hetro ville. Ill be finding that out soon. Ill be crossing the boarder into hetro ville next time I go out. (im bricking it). But I has my body guard and a safe haven in gay ville, should it hit the fan I got plans on ducking

[Evelyn K]

Yes to all the above.

I can put on a troll face mask, show legs and heels and still get hit on by desperate beta males.

But I wouldn't consider it as some sort of bragging right.

[HoneyStrums]

I don't think anybody can consider being hit on as a bragging right But you don't mean bragging do you?

More like what your saying is, a guy hitting on you doesn't necessarily count as a pass? (Which Is what I thought )
I mean, if my legs be the best looking legs a guy has seen (In his opinion) that's still a compliment (If he honest about it). So seen as cis or not, It doesn't take from the observation?

Btw the term, Beta male is a new one to me , I see it as a term that refers to a sub standard none-alpha male, But I find a lot of alpha male attitude and behaviours as sub standard (might be my standard of what a good man is. but isnt that what attraction is about) lol. So in terms of attraction beta male just refers to men I'm not attracted too

[FalseHybridPrincess]

I think it is kinda validating  for us

[peky]

I mean, wouldn't a transwoman receive much more attention in gay clubs and venues vs hetero? How attractive are we really to cis men in comparison?

Which validates us as being attractive more?

Well, honey, in my case, I do not frequent any kind of bar. My interaction is solely with cis-man and cis woman either at work, school, and temple.

I do not get hit like crazy but I have been asked out by a number of man, some of which did want to go a little bit further. I was flatter but until the piping is corrected, I am afraid is just occasional dating.

Personally, I think that all those post with "I am getting hit like crazy," are but the product of a feverish imagination, and wishful thinking.

Now, I do acknowledge that to most drunk man even a donkey with earring is hot... LOL

[HoneyStrums]

I think it is kinda validating  for us

Oh it is, and will be .

Its just I've been through a omg this man is so awesome, and then I found out he's gay situation. But yes extremely validating. (assuming they happen to be straight )

[Jess42]

are we being honest with our attractability?

Yeah, I think so or in most cases anyway. The only problem is that people who are beautiful and know it are usually extrememly vain. Those of us that are beautiful and don't think we are, are way more attractive, trans or cis.

[MikaylaGC]

I'm confuzzled Evelyn, I'm pretty sure you have said your grossed out by men(sexually) so why would it matter to you? I'm just asking coz the nature of the question confuses me 

[Evelyn K]

I *am* grossed out. But my op was a question of validation by the opposite gender. If one tries to proof themselves as being attractive, by which measuring stick are they using.

[MikaylaGC]

Okay cool, I understand better now. Ok so back to that question then, I think, ALOT of Gay men hit on TG because they like ummm how to put this, ok to use Gay speak, some guys like to top, some like to bottom, some are Daddys or Twinks and all that. I think gay guys figure that if your pre-op and in a GLBT bar or whatever you more than likely 'bottom' or view the TG as a 'Twink' who likes to cross-dress. I wouldn't personally validate your or anyones passability by the reactions of Gay men.  I know a few, and some have real issues with taking TG as anything more than Crossdressers or Twinks, there still in a way victims of there own masculinity or lack thereof(but still Gay, if any of this makes any sense). There was an interesting article about how some Gay men view TG(and I mean some not all, but its a problem)

http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2014/06/06/op-ed-what-we've-failed-remember-t-word

So I dunno I'm always confused, by alot of this myself. I seek validation of how I look and yet I loathe what I receive from Gay men, even though for me I LOVE men..gah! Just not Gay men, because thats counter-intuitive(and possibly 'insulting' to me?) as to what I am trying to grow into as a woman.

Actually this is a hellishly big question Evelyn lol, one that makes me ponder alot of things....

Edit: I'm not sure how to link that any other way It works everywhere else just not here(sry this could be a blonde moment)

[Evelyn K]

Nice read. Thanks.

(You'll have to copy and paste the entire url it breaks at ' because the link is not parsing correctly)

[Joanna Dark]

Well define getting hit on. I think of course some trans women get hollered at often by straight hetero men. Some guy the other day said I'm so pretty he wanted to marry me lol he might have been high and I'm from a bad hood, so quality and all, but I'm not imagining it. ->-bleeped-<- like that happens to cis girls all the time. Why not me? Why should I question it? But IDK maybe the wholt city is involved in a conspiracy to make me think I pass. Question: do you present full time? That matters. But I was under the impression you never want to go all the way.

[sad panda]

I only get hit on by gay guys online... :/ well IRL I only get hit on by guys who don't budge my gaydar. Actually I don't really get hit on so much as stared at and then they look away when I look at them. But I mean, I know where they were looking so. Sigh.

[stephaniec]

I wish some one would hit on me. I live in a college town and the young guys will peep at my breasts or older gentle men will look at me but, no one so far has taken me to a movie. I've notice guy couples will stare a me though. I don't know what they're thinking I should experiment and go clubing

[Joanna Dark]

As a woman, you have to flirt back when a guy talks or they get discouraged. I'm such a sap I say thanks to a lot of creeps just cause I feel bad. A lot of the guys that hit on me are drug addicts. But i live in the ghetto so, yeah. Otherwise they stare. But ive been with my BF for over a year so i aint looking.

I dont understand what "gay venues" have to do with anything? I dont go to those places. But the more I read these comments the funnier it gets. Ill tell ya i get hit on once or twice a day. Sometimes more. By hitting on, I mean, any comment meant to flatter me and get me to come over and talk. Or crude comments. Some girls like it dirty.

Why would I lie...really? And why should this not happen to trans girls who pass? and pass well? It's kind of insulting, I mean look at my avi. That's no makeup, liner, mascara, nada. I think i look pretty. Not hot, but cute, pretty. With the skinny jeans and form fitting top to show of my 30D boobs, guys just like me.

I guess a lot of trans women have big frames tho and are not like me, so maybe im an outlier. But being a woman isnt all that great: ya have to accept being talked down to, be subservient to ur man (and yes, most women go into marriage the weak partner. I know I certainly am. But i luv him) uh, plucking, beautty costs, and all for what? to be a woman. Im transitioning cuz i have no choice. no options. That and life turned great since i started this.

But, EVE K, who is it bragging? A lot of it might be someone excited they passed that well. Also, a guy is a guy. Beta males? Different women find different guys hot, cute. Plus: so-called beta males would be less likely to hit on a trans woman, not more. There's pleny of ugos out there. A trans woman would have beter luck going after an attractive man cause they are secure in themselves. And at the end of the day, guys want someone sweet, not hot. Someone funny and playful, not stacked.

I dont know but i know i saw peeps staring at trans women something fierce today for the Trans Health thingy and these same peeps looked at me and looked away. Is it hard for you to believe you can ever truly pass

[Evelyn K]

Hey Joanna, don't take it personally.

When you say you saw, "peeps staring at a trans women something fierce", how do you discern whether those stares where stares of lust or stares of disgust?

Are the peeps gay?
Are the peeps ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s?
Are the peeps hetero males?

How do you ascribe "stares" from each of the above according to the target (transwoman's) passability?

Thing is you can't really without getting in their brains.

[Evelyn K]

I wish some one would hit on me. I live in a college town and the young guys will peep at my breasts or older gentle men will look at me but, no one so far has taken me to a movie. I've notice guy couples will stare a me though. I don't know what they're thinking I should experiment and go clubing

Stephaniec, looking the way you do in your avatar, you can bet I'm going to sit down with you and have a chat. You are sweet.

I like your altitude.