Stealth vs well, non stealth.

[StevieAK]

I suppose everyone is different. For me if you see my before and after there is no hiding I'm someone else. Probably for at least some of us we aren't fooling anyone. The first time I heard a woman mumble under her breath, "freak" I was out.

[chaotic]

eh. i don't think i'll ever be non-stealth once i start the transition. i just don't think it's anyone's business. i don't go around telling people "hey! i'm bisexual!" or any other private details, so why should it be any different when it comes to me being trans? unless i meet someone whom i decide may come into contact with my privates and thus has the right to know what to expect. otherwise, they have no need to know.

[solexander]

I feel like I prefer to be stealth if I can help it, but I like to disclose my trans status to people I become close to and start to trust enough. I don't consider it necessary, but I feel like I like to talk about myself too much to keep it THAT big a secret, ahaha. All joking aside though, I like to be out as bisexual to people first and foremost because that's something I can't really go stealth about and be happy with- I feel like that opens doors for a lot of LGBTQ+ people to talk to me, at which point I feel comfortable divulging my trans status, especially if it's to help someone feel more safe or comfortable around me. Basically, stealth on the streets, not-stealth.... when I'm with friends and other trusted LGBTQ+ folks...... okay, that joke didn't work out.

[Felix]

I think it's a mistake to consider stealth as a well-defined concept for most people. In my case, coming out as trans in the first place was such a big deal that I assumed I would never go back into any closet of any kind, but real life is messy.

I don't walk around with "TRANS" stamped on my forehead, so people in day-to-day interactions usually don't know unless I tell them. I used to try to make a point of declaring it, but it's a topic that can quickly turn a normal interaction into something fraught or even dangerous. Many people know ahead of time because I deal with a lot of folks who teach or otherwise care for my child, and my transition is a significant detail that is both relevant to her history and also easily inferrable from her records. Those people know, but the default behavior from them seems to be not to bring it up unless I do, so their knowing rarely changes our interactions from what they would be if they did not know. It often feels like stealth when it's not, and vice versa.

I usually keep quiet about it in situations where it isn't useful for people to know, and I'm okay with outright lying about it with people who are very conservative or would gossip too much to others who are very conservative. My gun-loving redneck neighbor has no business knowing about my junk if his knowing would do no good and make both of us uncomfortable. My cat's vet doesn't gain anything by knowing it either, but I might tell him if we spoke very often. I try to tell my pharmacists so they don't give me dirty looks when I try to buy different needles or a sharps bin, but employee turnover at a lot of businesses is high enough that I don't bother in most merchant interactions.

Add to all that the fact that half of the time I try to come out, people either don't seem to even grasp what I'm saying, or they think I'm mtf, and it's all just too much work. Whether I'm stealth or not is a very case-by-case situation.

I do try to be out in situations where my known presence might make it easier for transpeople who come after me.

[ClaudiaLove]

  I would trade many things ( if I would own any valuables  ) for being able to live stealth . Not actively stealth  ,  not obsessed about it  ,  just don't expose or remember the past  .  Socially I think it would be possible , as I break apart from family and I don't have friends  ,  nor a job at the moment  ,  so I could start a new life  .  The problem I that physically will always be giveaways  ,  for me .  I might become passable , I may look female at a glance , for people on the street , but if they would look in detail there would be no way they couldn't see something is different from cis girls . 
  It would give me so much peace to just live , as a female , not wearing the trans sign , yet this Is life , I don't usually do it , but I guess I can accept it and move along  with my life  . 

[violethaze]

I'm very stealth and plan to keep it that way. I don't have the intention of disclosing to people who become good friends either, unless there's some extraneous circumstance in which doing so would benefit them (ie. they're questioning themselves, or have a family member who is). The dysphoria I experienced growing up is a significant personal trauma and I approach it nowadays with the same caution that anyone else who have been traumatized by something in their past would. Talk about it with medical providers and therapists, but that's about it.

On the other hand, I am pretty out as asexual to most people I meet. I can afford to be, because thinking and talking about that doesn't send me down a dark spiral where I always wonder if I'll be able to get out.