So I'm a late-onset, MtF mostly-straight woman, six months into my journey living full-time and fairly happy with the decision. My hair and voice are fine, I'm about 70% done with my laser hair removal, I've got a serviceable wardrobe for the time being (though I need to sell some things so I can buy more stuff to complete my wardrobe), and on my best days I'm easily read as a woman (mood and attitude seem to matter a lot). I'm changing my name this summer hopefully (if I can pay the court fee) and I've been told by my therapist and a psychiatrist that I was transitioning successfully so getting approval for SRS won't be difficult for me.
The only problem, of course, is I still have six months to go, and even when I'm done braving the dreaded first year I'll still be hoping against hope that I can write good enough books to pay for my SRS.
In the mean time, I've been noticing a lot of testicular pain and discomfort. Some of it could be from a varicocele I was diagnosed with in 2005 but I'm starting to think now that a lot of it is somatic. At any rate, suddenly I feel like this is pushing me in the direction of wanting surgery more and it's starting to manifest as true body dysphoria.
But then, I've had that somatic discomfort for a long time, and I have to wonder if my somatic discomfort wasn't an early sign of repressed gender dysphoria. Did anyone else have late-onset dysphoria and experience this before your dysphoria actually hit? If you had SRS afterward, how did it feel once you had it done? Did it come back as a phantom limb that still bothered you sometimes or did it alleviate the somatic issues completely?
I'm hoping to find some relief and that surgery will be enough.
