Why it's best not to know your baby's sex

[Olivia P]

'The most important thing isn't whether it's a boy or a girl, but what sort of person they are and what kind of character they have.'

Joanna Moorhead, Monday 2 June 2014 12.47

It was the World Cup summer of 1998 and I was expecting a baby. It seemed like a very different baby from the two daughters I'd already had. This child kicked whenever I caught sight of the football, and was much bigger and a lot more wriggly than my little girls, whose gender I hadn't discovered before they were born, not wanting to ruin the ultimate surprise.

This time I suspected that I was having a boy, and at one of my scans I toyed with the idea of finding out. "Could you tell, if I wanted to know?" I asked the scan operator. "Usually we can, by this stage," she said. "But in your case the baby isn't facing the right way. You'll have to wait, I'm afraid."

More: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/02/best-not-know-sex-of-baby

[suzifrommd]

Actually, I found reading this somewhat uncomfortable.

I'm not actually sure what the author is saying, but it sounds like some variety of "don't try to figure out the sex of your unborn child because they might be trans and then you'd be wrong."

Huh?

* Is she implying that knowing the sex beforehand somehow increases the pressure on a child to conform to gender norms? If so, sounds like a stretch.
* Is she implying that the lives of transgender people are made easier when our parents don't know our sex before birth? That would be total poppycock. The child would still need to go through the discovery phase, make a decision about transitioning, decide which of two one-way paths to take, and face certain societal disappointment (at best) about their choice.
* But most of all, I'm really tired of people making token (but onerous) demands on the cisgender world in my name. I DON'T want the cisgender world to change itself to accommodate me. I don't MIND people having expectations of children based on their gender, because the vast majority of the times those expectations materialize as expected. Yes our society needs to be more supportive of those who are different, both in gender and in every other way. Denying oneself the knowledge of the baby's sex will not make that happen, just as learning the baby's sex won't prevent that.

[Olivia P]

I think, or at least hope, their intended message is this:

'The most important thing isn't whether it's a boy or a girl, but what sort of person they are and what kind of character they have.'

That quote alone I can agree with, treat children as people and let them be themselves, whatever that is.

[suzifrommd]

I think, or at least hope, their intended message is this:

'The most important thing isn't whether it's a boy or a girl, but what sort of person they are and what kind of character they have.'

That quote alone I can agree with, treat children as people and let them be themselves, whatever that is.

Well, yes, I got that. But not sure what that has to do with knowing the sex of the baby before birth. I mean you can treat a child as a person and let him/her be himself/herself independent of knowing what their sex is going to be.

I can agree with that sentiment, but where knowing the sex ahead of time is concerned, I didn't understand where that was leading or how it had to do with the point above.

[Olivia P]

She's probably focusing on peoples tendency to reinforce stereotypes instead of just letting the child become themselves or something?

[Shana-chan]

Yeah, I'm with Suzi here, for some reason this really p.o.'s me and doesn't sit well with me. It also made me question what she was trying to say/imply about her own "daughter" too which somewhat didn't sit well with me for some reason.

[HoneyStrums]

No I think She was pointing out her realisation of how, society makes assumption of what a person is supposed to be like,
aka, its a boy or its a girl, turns into a life of blue or pink.

And that allowing the person to be who they are, instead of who parents expect or want their child to be is the greatest gift a parent can offer.

And Its seem more like the article is more aimed at why its best not to pay attention to your babies sex.
I think its inappropriately titled, that's all.