Stronger maternal urges

[Hideyoshi]

I don't know if it's the increasing E level in me (finally), but I'm starting to get stronger maternal urges than I used to have, which was near zero urge before HRT.

Which is dumb because it's just another thing to be dysphoric about... I don't know. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if my boyfriend went with a surrogate mother, and there's NO way I would use my (probably dead now) sperm and some woman's egg... it'd be too hard for me to take. Adoption I think I could bear but it's just the knowledge that I will never be able to conceive biological offspring inside of my body hasn't made me feel this way before.

Have any of you had these urges increase post HRT? How do you all feel about the whole kid issue?

[Megan Joanne]

Yep, no feelings at all about kids at all before HRT, afterwards I was dreaming of having little ones of my own. But alas, its an impossibility that I had to push those thoughts aside, I would never be able to bear children myself. Right now, off of the hormones and I hear kids crying the only thoughts through my head are "will you shut that brat up already!"  I'm sure I'll flop back the other way once I get that estrogen flowing through me again, then I'll be like "Oh, how cute, I want one!" 

[Emily1996]

You could still try a fertility test or something and ask a doctor, if you still have somethign down there I guess.... I didn't start HRT yet, but I don't have money to bank which is so hard, because I really want biological children, but my dsphoria is growing and growing and right now I think that I will prolly start HRT without banking since I don't have enough money for both. So yeah I understand you, and one being pregnant would be so great, just cross finger and hope medicine discoveries will go that way.

[HoneyStrums]

Ive already have strong maternal instincts, I'm a little concerned now.

The only reason I wanted a child was because my dad wanted a grandchild with the family name. But I was Invited to baby for my first niece and that changed everything for me. I've always felt partly responsible in some way for the welfare of every child and/or seemingly dependant person close to me. But never wanted a child for me. Antill that day, yes she was crying, I thought I had everything covered, nappy check, food check, drink check, temp check, toys check, she wouldn't have any of it (did you notice what I missed?).

So I'm in a bit of a pickle this really easy no problem job just became the most difficult thing I've ever done. So I phone mommy and daddy, explain my check list and their like well be home in an hour. So phew not long to go. No problem, wrong a baby crying in your care is the worst thing you can ever here. I didn't know what to do, and I was really ashamed that I was actually become angry with this poor little innocent child because I was stupid.

So I took a cushion of off the sofa, placed it in the middle of the room and sat down and began to cry myself. This meant I didn't hear her stop crying. A little bit later I suddenly became very aware that my left side was a little warmer, I looked and I had this quite little baby asleep on the sofa next to me. She had climbed the sofa and laid against me and gone to sleep. That was it for me. Wanted my own then, but thought of being a daddy sent my dysphoria into a downwards spiral. I knew I would come out and didn't want to face loosing my family. And I wanted to be a mommy.

So I'm worried considering its already bad, will It become unbearable for me .
Is it in vain to dream of one day being able to afford a womb transplant, and egg nucleus transfer. Probably so. But one can hope    

[Misato]

Mine sure kicked up.

I don't know how I would have been as a Mother. I'd have made a great Grandma though! I already show my love through my cooking!

[Evelyn K]

Yep, no feelings at all about kids at all before HRT, afterwards I was dreaming of having little ones of my own. But alas, its an impossibility that I had to push those thoughts aside, I would never be able to bear children myself. Right now, off of the hormones and I hear kids crying the only thoughts through my head are "will you shut that brat up already!"  I'm sure I'll flop back the other way once I get that estrogen flowing through me again, then I'll be like "Oh, how cute, I want one!" 

Why'd you stop E anywayz?

[DolceFragola]

Oh, I have these so much.

Before HRT, I never wanted children. I didn't bank sperm or anything. However, when my estrogen levels increased, I had very strong urges, sometimes of the "I should have random sex and hope a baby happens" kind. Which is weird, because I have no desire for sex, + I'm infertile. And it caused me a lot of dysphoria, because I would want to be pregnant myself. Not gonna happen

It was amplified by the fact that I have a new friend who has a child.

[Megan Joanne]

Ive already have strong maternal instincts, I'm a little concerned now.

The only reason I wanted a child was because my dad wanted a grandchild with the family name. But I was Invited to baby for my first niece and that changed everything for me. I've always felt partly responsible in some way for the welfare of every child and/or seemingly dependant person close to me. But never wanted a child for me. Antill that day, yes she was crying, I thought I had everything covered, nappy check, food check, drink check, temp check, toys check, she wouldn't have any of it (did you notice what I missed?).

So I'm in a bit of a pickle this really easy no problem job just became the most difficult thing I've ever done. So I phone mommy and daddy, explain my check list and their like well be home in an hour. So phew not long to go. No problem, wrong a baby crying in your care is the worst thing you can ever here. I didn't know what to do, and I was really ashamed that I was actually become angry with this poor little innocent child because I was stupid.

So I took a cushion of off the sofa, placed it in the middle of the room and sat down and began to cry myself. This meant I didn't hear her stop crying. A little bit later I suddenly became very aware that my left side was a little warmer, I looked and I had this quite little baby asleep on the sofa next to me. She had climbed the sofa and laid against me and gone to sleep. That was it for me. Wanted my own then, but thought of being a daddy sent my dysphoria into a downwards spiral. I knew I would come out and didn't want to face loosing my family. And I wanted to be a mommy.

So I'm worried considering its already bad, will It become unbearable for me .
Is it in vain to dream of one day being able to afford a womb transplant, and egg nucleus transfer. Probably so. But one can hope

Oh my gosh, that would've had me too, kind of like when my Snickers when she was just a tinnie tiny puppy, I didn't want her, tried to hate her, and she climbed up onto my purse and fell asleep. I started crying, she got to my heart, and that was the first time I took a picture of her too.

Being the way I am with Snickers my mom says I'd have made a terrible mother, I'd be so wrapped around my kid(s) fingers, they'd be spoiled something terrible. But nah, I'd been a wonderful mom. Maybe in another life.

Why'd you stop E anywayz?

Abruptly moved to another state, prescription ran out, don't yet have a doctor here and so far can't find one that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Its really all of a matter of costs, I'm poor. But I have been offered a helping hand, just have to find the right time to reach out and grab hold.

Oh, I have these so much.

Before HRT, I never wanted children. I didn't bank sperm or anything. However, when my estrogen levels increased, I had very strong urges, sometimes of the "I should have random sex and hope a baby happens" kind. Which is weird, because I have no desire for sex, + I'm infertile. And it caused me a lot of dysphoria, because I would want to be pregnant myself. Not gonna happen

It was amplified by the fact that I have a new friend who has a child.

Me too. My mom before I started HRT so many years ago had asked me if I wanted to bank my sperm, I said, "Hell no!" If I can't become pregnant and have them myself then I don't want no part in it at all. It just felt wrong for me, that'd make me feel like I were a father. My mom has three grandchildren, all boys, from my sister. None from my brother but since he decided he's not going to be a part of any of our lives anymore guess she'll never know if/when he ever does have children. And me, nope, never going to happen, even if I wasn't sterile I'd never do it. I am sometimes kind of sad about it, because I would've made a great mom. Sure, I suppose adoption could be an option, but I'm in no shape to take care of a child at this point in my life, I can't even take care of myself.

[Joanna Dark]

Pretty much the same. It would have to be with the right man though. I used to edit a parenting magazine for several years, so I was pretty deep into mommy culture. There's a whole underground world of mommy blogs and all kinds of other stuff. I don't think my BF wants kids so it's prolly not going to happen. IDK, I wish HRT would change me. I'm practically the same person and everyone else always talks about all these changes. I feel pretty left out lol JK

[noleen111]

I think mine are stronger than before HRT.

I am finding that I am starting to get broody, especially since I have been post-op. I think that may have to do with E flowing through my veins and that I am 24 years old. I cant go by any baby stores...

I think this makes sense to me, as we do have female hormones flowing through our bodies, we have now had female puberty - minus periods... hormones do effect the mind and give the desires.. and children must be one of them..

I now find myself.. really wanting to fall pregnant, to feel a life growing inside me... evening giving birth does not scare me.. lol.. I know I can never do this... But i do hope they do get a womb and uterus to work on a trans-woman while i am still under 40.. if so... I will find away to get one... then just maybe I will get my dream to carry a baby and give my future husband a child.

[Chloevixen]

Wow, mine went the complete opposite.  I used to love kids and being around them.  Now 6 months into HRT and one comes in and I go running the other direction.  Maybe its been the summer of being around them all the time teaching them to swim. (boobs came in and I now only get called during a emergency)  Part of me almost thinks its my bodies way of dealing with my inability to have my own, or else I am just way too selfish to want to move to a house on land and be tied in one spot for a long time.  I love the freedom that living on water has provided me.