Do others notice changes before you do yourself?

[E-Brennan]

A bit of background.  I've been on spiro for a while now (no estrogen yet) and I think I'm starting to sense the slightest of changes to my face - nothing significant at all, just an overall "not as male as it used to be" kind of aura.  Still 100% male, but different in some subtle, indescribable way.

The thing is, I've noticed other people treating me differently sometimes - again, ever so slightly.  Eyes seem to linger a little longer on me, sometimes with a look that I wouldn't call puzzled, but kind of how I look at myself; as if something is not quite right, something's amiss, but they can't quite figure out what it is.  People seem a little warmer, a little more like they're interacting with a female.

The question, after all that nonsense, is whether anyone else has noticed these kinds of tiny changes.  And if so, is it because maybe I look different, because maybe I'm acting different, or because maybe I am just perceiving things differently now.  Or just going nuts.

[KayXo]

I hope you will soon add some estrogen as no androgen/estrogen in your body can lead to a host of problems short-term (low energy, insomnia, depression/irritability, hot flashes) and long-term (cognitive impairment, osteoporosis, accelerated ageing).

Happy that you are seeing changes. Whether real or imagined, who cares? You're happier, aren't you? That's what really counts! But, I'm probably thinking, since you are taking Spiro for awhile now, the changes are at least partially fact and not illusion.

[Incarlina]

I think it's a combination of looking different, feeling different and seeing the world differently. How you look and feel effects your self confidence, and confidence affects how you feel and how you look. My counsellor's theory about people's slightly puzzled looks is that you give off an aura that has "female" written on it, and if people see something that seems off their brains try to fit the visual impression with the perceived aura. Impression is more than what the eyes see.

In my early transition I think confidence is what did the most for me. I could go half shaven from electrolysis to the bank, present a check with my old name on it, and still be referred to as "this lady".

As for seeing changes, I seem to be the only one who can't see any changes in my face, even though everyone around me tells me my eyes are completely different.

[LittleEmily24]

I think people who know you, notice a difference in you before you do. I mean, you are seeing yourself every day so its hard to notice any sort of change.

-the other day my mom told me "your nose got narrower and your neck is so slender"... totally unaware of that myself
-my wife hugged me and said "omg, i can put my arms around you entirely, so weird"... didnt even realize it
-my friend who i dont see very often told me "whoa your face is like CRAZY soft now..." and to me it looks mildly soft at best lol
-other changes include my big brother telling me "you look so much happier now, I can't explain how but I can see a glow in your eyes that was never there in the entire time you've been in my life, until now"

my mom also told me last night "wow, your waist is starting to look very nice"... which i find the most fascinating because i don't really see a difference in how my waist is now compared to before...

But all in all, my personality, disposition, attitude, emotional output ~ it all has proven to play a huge role in the differences people see, sometimes a person will tell me "your eyes look brighter" but in reality they aren't brighter, i'm just happier. People are most astonished by my newly acquired fluffy personality ~ i'm giggly, smile a lot, always talking, a bit dainty, and it makes me appear smaller than I actually am (even though I still measure 6'1", my wife tells me "youre not as tall as you use to be... i feel like you got smaller") amazing how people's perception of us can radically change by such minimal factors. And the reason I say that people are most astonished by it (and constantly reminding me of how it blows their mind) is because before transition, i was a very angry, very ranty, upset person who was loud and aggressive and so deep in the closet that when my guy friends found out, they said "but how!?!?! He's the MANLIEST guy I know!!! He's manlier than me! (said a friend from the Marines)"

So yes, i think others notice the changes in you before you do, but often times its more strongly driven by your outward attitudes and not so much by the small physical changes. Its almost like comparing it to how big a difference waxing your eyebrows can have on your entire face.

[Jill F]

I don't really notice day to day changes, but if I see a picture from a year ago it's pretty evident.

The best gauge for me is people who haven't seen me in a few months.  They always seem to notice that I'm getting girlier all the time. 

[E-Brennan]

Thanks for the confirmation that I'm not nuts.  And I can't wait to get the estrogen added to the mix to step the changes up a gear or two.

[luna nyan]

Nup.  Not crazy.
I only notice my own facial changes when I look at old photos.

A good friend of mine noticed way before I did.

Somebody hit me with a sledgehammer - it seems like that's the only way I notice things.

[Dani]

Just about everyone I know is saying that I look different somehow. 
I say it is just the weight loss.

[Hikari]

I notice changes that are easily quantified because I do keep some track of them. If I can't figure it out with measuring tape though it might not be me who sees the change first. Others commented my face had changed which it has but I can't easily chart progress on it, all I can do is take pictures.

I think I have the most trouble in tracking changes in personality. I did however count negative versus positive statements in my journals pre HRT and on HRT and there is clearly more positive statements, nearly 2:1 difference in fact, but was that caused by HRT or the situation immediately before HRT just being more negative? I can get correlation but not causality.

[Kaelin]

Other people notice things, but it's hard to know the rate at which they do since we don't have a way of recording everyone who notices but doesn't ask or comment.  Silence may come from not wanting to jump to conclusions (if you start developing boobs, it may appear that you are beginning a transition with hormones, but it could also come from gaining weight in general), being polite, or having other priorities.

I've started a non-binary transition half a year ago which includes a low/moderate dose of E, but the only person who has commented so far is the doctor who prescribed me E.