Questions for the Transgender Community

[dalebert]

His first video went fairly viral and was pretty judgmental of the trans community as a whole. He seems to be changing his tune after some more tactful trans people contacted him. I think I discovered his video on ->-bleeped-<- myself and it was the first video of his I'd seen. He seems pretty intelligent and I certainly don't feel like it's useful to just write him off as a bigot.

[Adam (birkin)]

I really respect him for making this video. Judging by his opening statements, he seems very willing to learn and like any misconceptions he may hold were a result of bad encounters. More people should be willing to respond to comments this way, the world would be a much better place. And his questions are very fair too.

[dalebert]

I could relate with his criticism of attitudes he describes as "social justice warriors". I think that's the first I heard of that term for it though. But I've heard it many times--that because someone is categorized into a so-called privileged class, they can't possibly understand the un-privileged POV. The idea here is to essentially say "If you still don't agree with my socio-political POV, then there's no point in further discussion. You can't possibly understand. Either agree or be decreed a bigot." That's a cop-out and an insult and an attempt to shut someone up. Incorrect ideas should be countered with educational speech; not silenced. People absolutely can understand if you explain it to them. People have the capacity for this thing called "empathy". We can try to imagine ourselves in someone else's shoes in order to understand. Help them do that. Don't just write them off as a bigot too quickly because they will write you off as well.

Some people are hopeless bigots though. At SOME point, I acknowledge that and quit wasting my time trying to reach them.

[campenella]

This guy's ideas and thoughts are spot on about how people treat trans politics in an online space that I've had issues with for a long time. 'Cis people shouldn't ask questions, they should just listen and accept whoever says that they're trans and never be curious about it. They should ask everyone pronouns! Respect my 'identity' ' I also agree a whole lot about being ->-bleeped-<-s to people because they might be transphobic. The comparison to racism was spot on: understanding oppression shouldn't make you into someone who is afraid to live their lives and shouldn't make you ostracize people because they might do something to you. Sounds an awful lot like what people do to trans people.

His talking points about gender presentation-societal viewing of gender/sex and bathrooms are almost spot on. If you still present as a woman/man you cannot be angry at those who call you feminine/masculine pronouns.  If you look andro, people will pick one. Yes it can be dysphoria inducing, but early on you learn to pick your battles with pronouns.

The only thing he was off about was genitals= sexed bathroom. Bathrooms for many people are like minefields, but he's right in that when you start transitioning, bathrooms are sort of at the top of the list to figure out.  I wished there were more gender neutral bathrooms in the places I went to when I was more andro and less confident.

I had a gameplan as I transitioned-I used the female bathroom until I passed consistently and only at school do I hesitate to use the crowded bathrooms still. He's been very open about getting the right information and I hope he comes back with some real knowledge and understanding.

[Felix]

I can't watch it. I'm working hard on being stable, and usually when I click on this kind of thing it ends up being traumatizing. I do want to be open to questions and I do want to be kind and helpful, but this kind of title so often leads to misery. I know everyone has a right to ask questions but it might help to factor in how damaged a lot of trans or gay people are before going into a given discussion. Leaving some wiggle room can help a lot.