"Gender is conformity"
At first I was outraged at this, statement, because I couldn't conform to a male stereotype and was like, wtf that not real.
BUT THEN a revelation. Is transition not a way of body conformity? up until now I had thought conformity a psychological thing in terms of changing WHO you are to fit in. But now I don't think that is the case. I mean when I was with my sister's and their friends id often say, this item of clothing looked nice, of I liked how they had their hair, and In a male presentation that was taken as a polite way of saying I want to have sex with you more now. when what I actually ment was, I as a person liked the clothes or hair. so in my currently cross dresser perception, saying these things are taken as they are. both a compliment and that I actually like them. My sister once said yeah but you don't have the boobs for it. lol.
I'm still stereotyped as a cross dresser, sometimes receiving a "I Thought you liked boys" response but this happens rarely. So in a way I am conforming my body, but in such a way as to be understand more, so what I am saying is taken as it is, and not what people think it is. So im transitioning due to the stereotypes to better convey my inner self. When before it thought conforming was falling into a birthed roll, and pretending you liked things to fit in. The funny thing is, I still play games, because in understand that doesn't change WHO I am. I suppose I'm ok with being seen as liking something some one doesn't expect, because I like it and I'm seen as liking it. My problems arise when, Im seen as liking something I don't with no way of proving I don't because I'm judged by how I look due to stereotypes.
E.g I used female characters in mmo's, and saying what I liked to people didn't cause any judging. But presenting male caused my no end of grief because id mention I didn't like this male macho thing, and liked this chick flick or whatever and boom, continua's internet bullying.
I mean I even told people about my chromosomes after weeks of constant will you be my online gf but doing this meant I could break the stereotype the guys use girl chars just to flirt and sex talk with other guys. Some do. but in this setting I can break that with refusal. and many people thought I was female because I wasn't an online harlot.
So I'm still stuck. Are gender lines blurred? For me no. But when I meet some one and talk about it yes. But why do these gender lines matter? they don't. They do if you are looking for some kind of purpose according to it. But shouldn't your purpose come from yourself? I like putting things back together and helping people, ill be a doctor?
