Sarah (my girlfriend who is trans) met my mother and father. It took them two years, but I feel like things are working out between my family, Sarah, and me. Dinner went fine, we laughed, my dad made Sarah eat (he told her she was too thin and needed food. It is his way of showing he cares). Finally, my mother pulled out the photo album and showed all the embarrassing pictures. My father invited her again and told her that she is in her home. I was elated that things went well. My parents have changed significantly since two years ago. My father finally stopped using male pronouns and only uses female pronouns to refer to her.
We were in the car one day, and we were talking about how Sarah is still semi-closeted with her family. Her family told her to keep her gender identity at home, in private. My father says it is hard to accept a child who is gay or trans as parents sometimes, but that as parents, they have to be proactive about their accepting their child. Parents can't expect for a family to work if they don't do something to make it work. My brother came out as gay a few years ago, and my father says it wasn't easy because he had to change for my brother. Everyday he works on making my brother feel welcomed and loved. At the age of 50, he had to learn how to change notions to be in his son's life. And once again he had to do it at 57 for me. For my parents, talking to my sister and a counselor helped to become more accepting parents. They admitted, they needed help to not only understand, but to be more accepting. my mother wished me the best, and if Sarah is the best, she couldn't ask for more. She only wishes that Sarah's family could see what we see in her. I do too.
