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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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dalebert

It's a little long, but try to hang in there for the payoff.

(Get it? Hang in there... like a door knocker?)


Dee Marshall

I saw this on engrish.com, there's no way I'm ever staying at this hotel, wherever it is!

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April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Lady Smith

Quote from: Dee Marshall on November 19, 2015, 02:00:08 PM
I saw this on engrish.com, there's no way I'm ever staying at this hotel, wherever it is!



Flying reptiles!   :icon_yikes:

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Lady Smith

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Lady Smith

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BeverlyAnn

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece there is a long passage of about 20 minutes where the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back."

"No need to panic." said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

"Well of course." said her companion. "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied and the bassists are loaded."
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde



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dalebert

"Who are you, and how did you get in here?"

"I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith."