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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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dalebert

Penguin has auto trouble and has his car towed into the service shop. The mechanic says "this is going to be a while... you'd probably be happiest down the street at the local bar, the Polar Zone...". Penguin agrees, and heads off to the bar. The bar is kept cool and even serves him his favorite, vanilla ice cream.

He comes back after a few hours, and the mechanic peers out from under the hood of the car... "You blew a seal..." And the Penguin is quick to stammer, "No, No, that's just ice cream."



V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Clhoe G

A blonde girl was in a car crash n the paramedics arrived ASAP they draged her out of the wreck as she was waking up, the parametric tells her "you have just been in a car crash n it seems you where knocked out" he go's on to ask "how many fingers have I got up"
she replies "O >-bleeped-< I'M PARALYZED TO!!! "
Thank-you scorpions...

For looking like Goth lobsters.  :laugh:

Quote.
-Jimmy fallon-

Wow, I could have sworn I've been on HRT for longer.
O well this ticker will help me keep track.

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Illuminess

A funny friend of mine said "space is gay".

Does that mean black holes need to check their privilege?

:icon_blink: :eusa_doh:

More attempts at humor here: Illuminess @ Twitter
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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Illuminess

△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
  •  

Illuminess

△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
  •  

Illuminess



Jacopo della Quercia is a writer at Cracked. He added me to his list "funny people" on Twitter.
Hopefully, with my consistent comedic stabs, he will refer me as a writer.
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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dalebert

This takes a little setup if you're not familiar with libertarian philosophy. N.A.P. stands for Non-Aggression Principle. It means you never use violence aggressively; only defensively.