Quote from: staypositive1 on June 18, 2014, 08:04:14 AM
Am I the only one who won't get on T (yet at least) because I don't like facial/body hair, too deep voice, masculine features etc.?
I love a feminine guy look, and that's how I look now, but if I start T I'm going to get all the stuff I don't want.
But I don't know what I'm going to feel in the future though.
Is it possible to get on a really low dose of T? So it only takes a ''working'' on the brain?
I'm not sure if I'm even transgender if this is how I feel about T.
It's also causing me to be dysphoric about being somewhere in the middle. So bleh... I don't really know what to do with myself to be at peace.
If you consider yourself a guy then that is what you are, regardless of whether or not you decide to go on T.
I feel very similarly to you about hormones and felt that way for a long time. It's also very easy to feel pressured by other trans people or therapists to go on T if you even remotely feel like you might want to be on it somewhere down the line in life. It's also very easy to be convinced by certain therapists or doctors that you aren't trans if you currently don't want to go on T. Unlike others, the first thing I would suggest actually isn't running to your nearest therapist. I found the best thing was to slow things down and think about what I want/don't want and why. What expectations are there? What characteristics do I see as a part of me or not? Did I feel pressure from outside myself? If so, from where and why?
The important thing to remember is that you
do have time. It really doesn't matter today what you'll look like 15 or 20 years from now. If you want to go on T 2 years from now, 10 years from now or 20 years from now, you can. You don't need to concern yourself with that now if all you worry about is how you'll feel 20 years from now. Deal with what you want for the moment, instead. Instead of therapists I personally think community support groups and counsellors are more helpful.
If you do decide to go the route of some form of therapy or counseling, at least from my personal experience I would recommend counselors instead of therapists (particularly those that aren't hell bent on conventional forms of therapy that push you towards particularly conclusions, but instead just offer you support in thinking through your own thoughts/feelings) at community-based organisations like Planned Parenthood or local LGBT community/health centres. My two cents, anyway.
