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[onelostlonelysoul]

Hi guys.
I come from a muslim background and I find it hard to accept myself,  so I was wondering how you accepted yourself.
I also wondered if any of you were "femme" and how you dealt with that

[Umiko]

as of now, i'm part of the non-binary spectrum which is allowing me to accept myself and as i go through transition, i'll slow make my way into the female spectrum. i cant really give advice but other than find what is best for you that will allow you to accept yourself a little at a time.

[ChrisRokk]

Hey, buddy.  I can relate that people of my former religion (Christianity) used to like to proclaim their own ideas on transsexualism, homosexuality, anything about sexuality or gender in general as if it were actually in the scripture.  Aaaaaannnnd it wasn't really, or a lot got changed in translation.  It is likely that if you look at the Quran alone and don't listen to other people you will probably find that there is not specific condemnation of transgender/transsexual individuals.

Although from what I understand, the gender binary is strong in Islam? Is that why being "femme" is difficult?  I hope that isn't the case; please correct me if I'm wrong.

[Pictrig18]

I agree with ChrisRock - I don't know where people come up with these rules about this stuff being wrong, but a lot of what they preach is not even in the religious writings. Things that are there are often taken out of context and chosen as rules to follow while other rules are completely ignored because 'everyone does it now'. And when it comes to translations of these writings through time....I often wonder how much of it is even the original text. That hasn't been corrupt by old white men to influence and control those who read it. I also am not sure how any woman can seriously believe in many of the texts since they are treated like dirt - like they are nothing. Just property. Less than men.

I know this is difficult since you come from this background and I am sure everyone around you practices it as well. All I can say to you is that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Not because you are transgender, anyway - I don't know you well enough to make the full statement but seriously - you are not defective. You are not any lesser of a person than anyone else. You have done nothing wrong. If there is a God, I cannot believe that they would damn you forever for being this way and still being a good person at heart. And yet a straight, 'normal' person is allowed to be a terrible person, even steal or kill, and all they have to do is ask for forgiveness? Killing and stealing isn't something that you are - they're things that you do. You ARE transgender - you don't just do it. It's you. And that's okay.

I hope you can find support and strength from people here on this site. I'm not sure what is available to you where you are in person...but we are here for you.

[Berserk]

Hi guys.
I come from a muslim background and I find it hard to accept myself,  so I was wondering how you accepted yourself.
I also wondered if any of you were "femme" and how you dealt with that

I've never been particularly religious and currently would consider myself an atheist with some more spiritual (more to do with self and nature) leanings. That said, I also found it hard to accept myself for a time, as I'm sure many trans folks have. We're so engrained in society culturally to believe certain things about sex/gender. For myself to feel better about it I felt the need to read more about others experiences as well as the "science" behind sex (which ends up being far more complicated than basic high school biology lets most of us know, unfortunately). Even if these days I've really stopped caring about what science or society say or don't say, when I was younger I found it helped to read more into studies around sex especially around trans and intersex folks. I found it comforting to know that sex wasn't really such a cut and dry thing.

I think another thing that helps is coming to really know who you are. At some point, you get to know yourself so well and you notice how hard society tries to force people into particular boxes or how hard it fights back against anyone who breaks the norm, and it makes you wonder. Why do they fight so hard if what they say is "true" and "fact"? A lot of it is the fact that society believes that what has been culturally engrained in them is "true" and "fact," which isn't always so. Sometimes you have to trust yourself more than other people.

As for religion, again I'm not religious, but I could imagine a similar outlook helping. Coming to trust in yourself and your connection with your own spirituality enough to know that there is nothing "wrong" with you, and that people can nurture their spirituality without condemning others.

Overall, I think coming to accept yourself and feel even just a little bit more comfortable in your own skin just takes time. Having a good support base, whether online or in real life helps a lot though

[onelostlonelysoul]

Thank you so much,  I already feel better reading those. My family are very strict and call me "it" if I mention im trans , but even they say I shouldve been biologically male. I myself am no longer muslim , but islam is very strict about gender roles. . Im sorry I can't write a proper response yet but thank you so much