So, I've finally decided on my gender, yet... I am still powerless to go about i

[BrokenWalls]

Hi all! I'm a 17 year old from the UK who has, after at least a year now decided what gender I am. Born Male, I am sure I want to transition to Female. However, I am sure many of you have went through this, you get that little niggle in your mind, that trys to force you against this choice, yet you say no to it? I get that right now.

So, how did I come to this conclusion? I recently posted on /r/needafriend (->-bleeped-<-), I got some replies, most notably, one Trans Girl I now know, she's 24, and has honestly made this choice alot easier. Having someone treat me how I feel I should be treated (The conversation yesterday was the best!) by the end of it, I came to the conclusion that this shell I am in does not express who I am.

Here in lies the problem, well a few: Family. My family would not accept this in any way shape or form, I'd honestly risk being dis-owned, which... for my happiness is great. (I've been depressed lately, and honestly, a little more so since yesterday.) However, it's still made it harder. Which then leads to the next flaw, I cannot legally or safely get the transition started till I am 18, I would want it done in confidentiality without my parents knowing. Which the NHS cannot provide, I have also heard bad things about them!

So, I cannot get that done. Next year, however I am looking to move in with Maddie & Gabe in America, and get it started there, away from family and friends that will disapprove, with £7,000 to get me started on this. It's nice that one person understands, accepts me for who I am, and who I have chosen I am. The problem is really, how would I ever tell my family? How would I live this year, excited and eager to start, yet unable to due to parents.

I feel powerless to be who I want to be currently, and the nearest window of opportunity is 13-14 months away... It's hard you know?

[Umiko]

do you have access to therapy or some sort of counseling?

[BrokenWalls]

do you have access to therapy or some sort of counseling?

I don't exactly know what I have access too, but my Anxiety Disorder has always lead me todo things on my own, and away from therapy. I don't really have the strong will to go to therapy, I don't feel like I need it (That might just be my hubris).

[Umiko]

I don't exactly know what I have access too, but my Anxiety Disorder has always lead me todo things on my own, and away from therapy. I don't really have the strong will to go to therapy, I don't feel like I need it (That might just be my hubris).

i wont be the only one who says that but when it comes to dysphoria and its power to break even the strongest person, therapy is the strongest foundation you can have and the best place to let out what you are feeling and thinking. my advice is to try again with a therapist who specializes in GID. i was in your shoes and didnt think therapy would help me but once i found my therapist, i have a much clearer picture of what i want out of my transition.

[Jess42]

BrokenWalls. You are probably gonna have to have some sort of therapy. It is not a bad thing really and it is one thing that will allow you to see all the options or where you may be on the spectrum. Not to mention you may even get to know yourself better. I am seeing a gender therapist referred by my psychiatrist that I finally opened up to after hiding it for 40 someodd years. I am not going to transition as of yet but it is out there when and if the time comes.

[Jessica Merriman]

If you are considering transition you should familiarize yourself with the WPATH Standards of Care.

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Standards_of_Care_for_Gender_Identity_Disorders