Quagmire

[EmoAlice]

So, in case you don't know, I really don't identify as either male or female gender-wise.  This is fine for when I'm talking to other trans people or people with a better understanding of gender.  My predicament comes when talking to people not in the know.  Understandably, they cannot grasp sex and gender being separate, let alone non-binary identities.  I feel highly pressured to choose a binary gender to tell people.  I feel like I can't say female because I don't feel like I am a woman and even though I am transitioning in that direction, and the gender presentation I'm going for is 100% female, I feel inauthentic telling people that.  I feel less inauthentic in telling people that I'm male because of my anatomy, but it also causes dysphoria to do so and I prefer to be thought of as female.  Sometimes, I enjoy being different and don't mind explaining to people, but at times I just wish I could feel comfortable saying "I am _______" without it leading to more questions.

[immortal gypsy]

Untill I started to get back on the 'e' train, I would tell people I'm me, or I'm Gypsy and just letting them draw there own conclusions. The only problem comes is when people confuse gender identity (how you wish to wake up) with sexuality (who you wish to wake up with).
How I presented myself on the day physically depended very much on the mood I was in at the time, and I really didn't care what other people thought of me back then. Still don't much today either a simple look and 'what do I care' smile seams to stop most people from asking anymore questions

[EmoAlice]

Untill I started to get back on the 'e' train, I would tell people I'm me, or I'm Gypsy and just letting them draw there own conclusions. The only problem comes is when people confuse gender identity (how you wish to wake up) with sexuality (who you wish to wake up with).
How I presented myself on the day physically depended very much on the mood I was in at the time, and I really didn't care what other people thought of me back then. Still don't much today either a simple look and 'what do I care' smile seams to stop most people from asking anymore questions

How I wish to wake up is different from my gender identity though.  I wish I was physically female.  But I don't feel I am female. 

[suzifrommd]

Alice, I spend many months trying to figure out how I could live as non-binary in a way that binary people could accept and understand without needing to be educated. I made lots of posts similar to these, and did a lot of writing about it.

I came to the conclusion is that people are WIRED to gender each other as one of the binary genders. It's pretty much how our species procreates, right? I decided that I needed to pick on of the binary genders and present as that gender, because I so didn't want people having to put in effort to get to know me.

That required transitioning to be female.

How I wish to wake up is different from my gender identity though.  I wish I was physically female.  But I don't feel I am female. 

OK, time to use all-caps to dispel one of the most dangerous myths about transgender.

NOT ALL TRANS PEOPLE "FEEL" LIKE THEY ARE THE OTHER GENDER.

I never felt like a woman. Being transgender felt to me like an intense desire to become a woman and have a woman's body, (like you report).

I wonder how many people delay acting on their transgender feelings because they think they have to be a woman trapped in a man's body or they're not trans.

I've been living full time as a woman for a year, loving every day of it. And yet I still don't FEEL like a woman. I feel like a man living a woman's life (happily). Maybe I never will. My gender therapist and I have come to the conclusion that that feeling is not relevant to anything.

What's important is how I want to live.

[EmoAlice]

Alice, I spend many months trying to figure out how I could live as non-binary in a way that binary people could accept and understand without needing to be educated. I made lots of posts similar to these, and did a lot of writing about it.

I came to the conclusion is that people are WIRED to gender each other as one of the binary genders. It's pretty much how our species procreates, right? I decided that I needed to pick on of the binary genders and present as that gender, because I so didn't want people having to put in effort to get to know me.

That required transitioning to be female.
OK, time to use all-caps to dispel one of the most dangerous myths about transgender.

NOT ALL TRANS PEOPLE "FEEL" LIKE THEY ARE THE OTHER GENDER.

I never felt like a woman. Being transgender felt to me like an intense desire to become a woman and have a woman's body, (like you report).

I wonder how many people delay acting on their transgender feelings because they think they have to be a woman trapped in a man's body or they're not trans.

I've been living full time as a woman for a year, loving every day of it. And yet I still don't FEEL like a woman. I feel like a man living a woman's life (happily). Maybe I never will. My gender therapist and I have come to the conclusion that that feeling is not relevant to anything.

What's important is how I want to live.

I'm definitely not delaying transition.  I know I'm transgender, no issue there.  I just don't feel like any gender so I don't feel like it's right to call myself a woman.

[Satinjoy]

Physically I call myself an androgyne.  Pushed on the binary gender issue,it hasn't happened yet in a social situation.  My reply is simply "both, or neither, take your pick."  These are what I told my wife, that I was born both sexes.  Which is true, female skeletal, endocrine receptors and  central nervous system, and male leftovers for the rest of it.  I will keep and nurture both components, but i am not intersex, I am DES induced transitioned in the womb, involuntarily, but now embraced and happy about it. 

No they don't get it.  Not surprising.

[Satinjoy]

Oh and if I am really comfortable I will probably just tell them that I am a transsexual.  It really doesn't matter much, as long as they see me, and not their fears, projections, or social deceptions.