CntrSarra,
Welcome to the site. I am so sorry we meet you under these circumstances. It is so hard for all involved.
I can't really give advice, just some initial suggestions. However, you are right, there are a lot of people who visit the site and may well run across a similar experience.
My first suggestion is if you are not already, seek out a therapist. A good therapist will understand the challenges your SO is experiencing but also you. They will support your ideas(provided they are mentally healthy for you) and desires but will advocate for you. As in, "It is great you love and want your SO to be happy; however, it should not come at the expense of you being unhappy."
I would also suggest you ask the SO (or us) whatever you are not aware of with regards to being transgender. Take your time to digest the information. This was probably very hard for your partner to say to you. However, they have experienced this(or at least urges, symptoms, behaviors) for their whole lives; you have had a day.
There are many types of transgender people. You may be right in that more cross dressing will help. Perhaps only the the step of hormone therapy. Others choose to transition the entire way.Humans are very adaptable but working with your therapist, you should be able to find how much you can adapt and still be happy as who you are.
There are couples who stay together. It is in seeing and loving the person within no matter what is on the outside. That can be really difficult. It seems that the key to this is communications. Neither can lie or try to make the other feel better or it will likely lead to resentment.
I hope you find some support and what you need from the site.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:
Things that you should read
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
I wish you love, understanding and a smooth path to where you are going.
With warmth,
Joanna
