Well I finally made but to a second support group meeting and might have made a friend. She grabbed my phone and sent a Facebook friend request from my account to hers. So we were talking on facebook and I unloaded my feelings on her. It felt good to get it out. But it might have been too much. I don't think I've even posted this here. Well any way this is what I told her. It was not out of the blue. So any way. Anybody who does not know my story will now.
"The only real rough spot I see right now is my wife. The pain I am causing and going to cause her is destroying me. And I have not started hrt yet. At least you have some friends. Any I had are no more because I moved out here to move in with my current wife after a real bad year in 2008. I lost everything. House forclosed. Divorce. Lost my job because of the economy. Rolled my brand new truck. Left half my ->-bleeped-<- in the house. And on moving day I was driving back from here with the uhaul and I get a call from my sister that my mom past away. But I thought I beat the odds. I recovered fully. I thought I was truly blessed. I met my wife. She bought me car. I have a good place to live. I have an income. Insurance, etc...... But there was this problem that apparently I had for 40+ years. And as smart as I thought I was, I didn't even know what transgender was till this January. If I would have figured this out just 10 years sooner I could have saved a lot of people a lot of hurt. Including myself. Sorry to unload all this on you. I feel better getting it out. Ive only told this to my therapist. I don't want anybody feeling sorry for me so I tend to keep things like that to myself. Feel free to unload on me. I am a good liztener. Sorry if that was bit too much."
