The Baby Face Curse

[dalebert]

When I was running for office in SoCal, people kept asking me if I was a student, like they were so proud that I was already getting involved in politics. *sigh* My answer generated great looks of confusion.

"Not anymore. I went to community college for a few years before joining the Navy. Then when I got out, I worked in banking for a while and got back into community college to finish my doctorate. I got my Bachelors at Georgia Tech. Then I went to work in software engineering and got my Masters part-time at USC. I've been a senior software engineer at at a major defense contractor for five years."

I was in my mid-30s.

[Nero]

Oh god yes. As a trans guy, I understand. The kicker was being 30 years old on a plane and an older couple concerned that there weren't going to be parents or guardians to meet me. 

[Emily1996]

AHAHAH it was so funny

[Felix]

I hate how I look like a teenager even though I'm in my thirties, but in hindsight I looked crazy young even as a female. When I was 18 I looked 13 or 14. Young-looking women have (in my opinion) more social benefits in their situation than baby-faced men, but that is probably heavily mediated by what you want out of life.

I don't like getting carded when I buy a lighter (or whatever is age-gated these days), but i'm not going to lie that it's wonderful being attractive to guys who like twink-y types. I almost always tease them and refuse to do much, of course. I have to feel super confident to be willing to get into discussions about genitalia.

[ThatGuySy]

I'm lucky enough to pass probably 90% of the time. Unfortunately, I only seem to pass as a 12-18 year old. I'm 23, and still have people ask me what grade I'm in.
D*mn you, beardless baby face.

[Jill F]

I wish that was the reason that I sometimes get carded.  *le sigh*

I get carded about once a month and I know there is no planet on which I appear to be 20 (Uranus maybe?).  I'm pretty sure people just want to see if I'm really more like a "Jack".

[Edge]

It's not as bad for me anymore since I'm 26 and people just think I'm a few years younger. I know a woman the same age as me though who looks like a young teenager. Poor woman.

[Tysilio]

Ah... there are some advantages to transitioning as an older person:

The other day, my partner and I were coming out of a big box store with a toilet we'd just bought -- a demo   err.... floor model, out of the box, in three pieces. Just as I was getting ready to lift the bowl into the back of my truck, a youngish guy came out of the store and said, "Oh, let me help you with that."

I thought "Oh, crap -- he's reading us as two helpless older women...." until he picked it up and said "How would you like me to put it in, sir?" 

We still had some stuff to pick up inside -- as we were walking in I said "GEEZER POINTS!!!!" and we high-fived each other.

[sad panda]

I remember being 20 and sitting there with this new psychiatrist, she was young, like late 20s, really pretty, smart, I was really jealous of her. she was handling my mom's care, and I was still presenting as a cis boy then. I went on this long tirade about how her treatment had been mishandled at every turn, how we needed to reduce her meds, that I was worried about the staff at this place and her therapist, all this stuff, and she totally agreed with me on everything. It ended in basically deciding they would have to hospitalize my mom to get her meds sorted out. I thought she really respected me and connected to what I was saying. And so I said I'd drive my mom to the hospital, she didn't need an ambulance, and she was like, wait, are you old enough to drive???... And I was just thinking, what? This whole time you thought some 14 year-old boy is having this conversation with you right now? I said I'm 20 and she went beet red and was like, I'm so sorry, but still insisted on having an ambulance take my mom.

That kinda thing happened all the time, even though I hardly ever got out. But, I didn't really mind it somehow, I feel like a preteen on the inside anyway :/

[Jess42]

I got carded a couple of weeks ago for cigarettes. Wow what a boost to my ego. I asked the lady if I really looked that young and she told me they have to card for anyone that looks under 42. I could actually feel the deflation. But since I am a few of years over 42 I guess I'll take what I can get. I guess once you reach 45, looking even a couple of years younger is a good thing. Not quite as good a 20 years younger but hey...

[Evelyn K]

Having a baby face is about the next best thing for M2F transitioning if you aren't already fem looking when starting.

Fem face > baby face > masculine face

It's easier to close the gap.

[Ltl89]

I guess I can't relate to this one too much.  I'm happy to be seen as younger when it happens.  Sure, people may say stupid things or make assumptions at times, but it beats looking older in my book.  However, ageism and the asumption that younger people are dumb is very annoying.  But I say this now.  Maybe that will change for me in time as I age even further.