Going out and not getting any reactions

[EmoAlice]

I've been going out lately in a pretty genderqueer way (I have beard shadow that I can't fully cover, otherwise, girls clothes, hair and makeup).  I haven't gotten any noticeable reactions from people (no verbal gendering yet, no staring, hardly anybody even giving more than a glance) besides children.  This is probably a good thing, but of course my mind won't let it be that.  I'm constantly wondering "why aren't people noticing how weird I look?"  Do people just not care?  Am I passing as male?  Am I passing as female? Am I "passing" as "other" and people are accepting?  The only thing I've noticed is children pointing and whispering to each other.  I'm not "worried", I'm just curious and it doesn't bother me whatever the answer is.  Of course, I have a preference to which answer it is, but it'd just be nice to see where I stand, ya know?

[Jessica Merriman]

Do people just not care?

More than likely this /\. People are so wrapped up in their personal dramas they drive off the road, walk into walls, etc.  I personally love the ones pulling on push doors and can't figure out why it doesn't open! 

[FalseHybridPrincess]

I dont wish to sound offensive  or anything but nobody passed  as a female  with a beard shadow.

nonetheless its surprissing that you got no stares in a genderqueer look  , i have an androgynous look  too and  people stare at me a  lot,
sometimes they  gender  me female  some  male  , but they sure stare .I suppose those  who dont just dont care.

Heres  a way to figure things out
ask some of your friends about how you may be perceived  by others, they  should  be honest.

[immortal gypsy]

Kids will stare but "out of the mouth of babes comes the truth", as harsh as it can be sometimes. I call it look without seeing it is how we as a society can walk right past that person begging on the corner (sad but true). Unless you are actually looking for something you can be surprised by how much of the world passes you by,  (friends and I have walked past each other and we are suppose to be meeting up)

Ask your friends for their first impressions on what you look like and tell them to be honest with you.  How honest well that depends on how strong you are and how much you want to appear and how quickly

[EmoAlice]

I dont wish to sound offensive  or anything but nobody passed  as a female  with a beard shadow.

nonetheless its surprissing that you got no stares in a genderqueer look  , i have an androgynous look  too and  people stare at me a  lot,
sometimes they  gender  me female  some  male  , but they sure stare .I suppose those  who dont just dont care.

Heres  a way to figure things out
ask some of your friends about how you may be perceived  by others, they  should  be honest.

I don't think I was being gendered as female, just that it was a logical possibility.  I have no friends.

[suzifrommd]

Don't know if this helps, Alice, but I've noticed that people pay most attention to me when I ALMOST pass. There's something wrong that they can't quite figure out. When I was obviously a guy with a wig, I actually got less attention, though in a crowd there might one or two people who would stare or scowl.

Most people are well socialized not to stare at anyone ever.

[ChelseaAnn]

Ask a friend to go with you to a mall and act as your eyes. I went out with a girlfriend a few weeks ago, and after we left the mall, she told me that I was getting some looks. No, not stares. Looks. Good looks, from guys. Made me feel awesome, even though I'm lesbian. And I haven't even started therapy yet. I just go out en femme from time to time. Helps a little.

[EmoAlice]

Ask a friend to go with you to a mall and act as your eyes. I went out with a girlfriend a few weeks ago, and after we left the mall, she told me that I was getting some looks. No, not stares. Looks. Good looks, from guys. Made me feel awesome, even though I'm lesbian. And I haven't even started therapy yet. I just go out en femme from time to time. Helps a little.

Thanks, but as I said - no friends

[Boo Stew]

I was on a long road trip recently coming back from Chicago and we stopped at a rest area on the way. I decided that day not to bother with extensions or a wig, not to try and redo the makeup after 6 hours or so, just to be a hot mess like every other girl in the van. I put a hair band on my relatively short mop of brown hair, had the previous night's lip stain flaking off, my manicure a shambles, and my eye makeup was just simple liner and mascara. Nobody cared and I even got Ma'am'd at the Burger King. I mean, sometimes I go ALL OUT to look womanly since I haven't started HRT yet, and I feel like people know immediately but for whatever reason the only one who paid me any attention at all was a little girl in the ladies room who was adorably blunt in staring. But you know what? Her mom had more of a mustache than I did!!