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Starting T in the middle of studies

Started by Moimoinen, July 20, 2014, 11:54:57 AM

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Moimoinen

July 20, 2014, 11:54:57 AM
Hello chaps!  :D

I've had something really bothering me for a while, and I just joined today so why not get it all off my chest here?
I will be starting university in September, and hopefully T by the beginning of next year (big emphasis on hopefully, providing nothing gets in the way of progress) and since I will already have started university by then, I'm becoming increasingly dysphoric over how my voice sounds. Although my name is (mostly) male, I'm terrified of being misgendered by tutors/lecturers, and I can become mute when having to talk in front of classes or do presentations.
Also, when I do start T, I'm worried that people will wonder why my voice is more masculine than when I started.

This may be mostly just in my head, but whether it's mental or not, it's all very real to me. :(

All I can really think to do is avoid talking in class altogether, which isn't really great if I'm wanting to make friends.  :laugh:

~ Elliott


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



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David27

#1
July 20, 2014, 12:16:43 PM
Well I assume you just graduated high school. If you just graduated high school then it won't be super weird as you could just be viewed as a late bloomer. Big thing about being perceived as male is confidence, so be really confident when you correct people. I don't know if your name is unisex, but using a male name that isn't unisex will help a lot.
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Moimoinen

#2
July 20, 2014, 12:25:01 PM
Quote from: David27 on July 20, 2014, 12:16:43 PM
Well I assume you just graduated high school. If you just graduated high school then it won't be super weird as you could just be viewed as a late bloomer. Big thing about being perceived as male is confidence, so be really confident when you correct people. I don't know if your name is unisex, but using a male name that isn't unisex will help a lot.


Well, actually I'm going on 22, but I do look like I've just gotten out of secondary school unfortunately.  :laugh:
You are right, I'd be fine with being perceived as a late bloomer for the most part.

I will just work on my confidence, and hopefully things will go smoothly! Thanks!  :)


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



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LordKAT

#3
July 20, 2014, 04:11:01 PM
Voice changes happen over a prolonged time for many people with the most dramatic happening soon after starting T. You are young enough that I don't think it should be too much of an issue.

Are you planning on changing your name before you graduate? I'm just curious because it can make future job hunting or further schooling easier.
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SX0877

#4
July 20, 2014, 04:16:21 PM
I started my transition in college and I would say it is actually easier this way, because of all the on campus lgbt resources and access to healthcare. People are generally friendly, especially the faculty staff and TAs who are trained to be diversity inclusive, and sensitive to issues like this.
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Moimoinen

#5
July 20, 2014, 04:19:48 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on July 20, 2014, 04:11:01 PM
Voice changes happen over a prolonged time for many people with the most dramatic happening soon after starting T. You are young enough that I don't think it should be too much of an issue.

Are you planning on changing your name before you graduate? I'm just curious because it can make future job hunting or further schooling easier.


That's reassuring.

Well, I have already changed my name. I wanted to do it before even starting, just so that there were no confusions with things like the registers and such.


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  

Moimoinen

#6
July 20, 2014, 04:21:19 PM
Quote from: SX0877 on July 20, 2014, 04:16:21 PM
I started my transition in college and I would say it is actually easier this way, because of all the on campus lgbt resources and access to healthcare. People are generally friendly, especially the faculty staff and TAs who are trained to be diversity inclusive, and sensitive to issues like this.


Ah, that's good! I'm feeling more confident now about going back!  :)


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  

LordKAT

#7
July 20, 2014, 04:52:17 PM
Perfect! It sounds like you are really thinking things out well. I agree that college does seem like a good time for transition due to better resources and acceptance for many. Good luck with your studies.
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Adam (birkin)

#8
July 20, 2014, 05:00:45 PM
No one is going to think much, if anything of it...I can virtually guarantee that. And if they do they won't say anything or attribute it to you being trans.
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Moimoinen

#9
July 20, 2014, 05:05:51 PM
Quote from: birkin on July 20, 2014, 05:00:45 PM
No one is going to think much, if anything of it...I can virtually guarantee that. And if they do they won't say anything or attribute it to you being trans.


That's good.

It isn't as though I'm embarrassed or anything like that about being trans, because I'm not in the slightest. But, I would much prefer to come across as a cis guy if possible. Which I would think is pretty natural, really. But we're all our own worst critiques.  :laugh:


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



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Blue Senpai

#10
July 20, 2014, 05:19:05 PM
It's not going to be as awkward as it will be at work. I wish I transitioned when I was still in college.
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zero.cool.crash.override

#11
July 20, 2014, 06:18:23 PM
Agreed.  College ought to be a good time to go through the initial transition.  Even if you're 22, the general expectation in university is that everyone is in their late teens or early twenties, and so they are all at that stage of changing from teen to adult and are developing their identities.  If you undergo drastic changes from the beginning of the year to the end, it could easily be explained or assumed to be late adolescent changes.

You may find that you don't even need to go stealth on being trans, if the school has a strong LGBT group.  Of course, that's completely up to you. 

Also, people don't often ask your age.  They don't know you're 22.  If your voice hasn't dropped and if present as masculine and confident, maybe they'll assume you're a 16 year old genius.  :D  You get to pick who you want to be while you're in school. 
~Malachi Uriel

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Moimoinen

#12
July 20, 2014, 06:47:43 PM
Quote from: zero.cool.crash.override on July 20, 2014, 06:18:23 PM
Agreed.  College ought to be a good time to go through the initial transition.  Even if you're 22, the general expectation in university is that everyone is in their late teens or early twenties, and so they are all at that stage of changing from teen to adult and are developing their identities.  If you undergo drastic changes from the beginning of the year to the end, it could easily be explained or assumed to be late adolescent changes.

You may find that you don't even need to go stealth on being trans, if the school has a strong LGBT group.  Of course, that's completely up to you. 

Also, people don't often ask your age.  They don't know you're 22.  If your voice hasn't dropped and if present as masculine and confident, maybe they'll assume you're a 16 year old genius.  :D  You get to pick who you want to be while you're in school.



Ahaha, I wouldn't mind at all coming across as a 16 year old genius!  :icon_rockon:

I'm actually not sure if there is an LGBT group, for some reason it never occurred to even check! I will definitely find out when I get there. There likely is, these days at least.

I will just up my self-confidence and I should be fine! :D
Thinking about it, I'm a relatively quiet and to myself person anyway. Not in a shy or meek kind of way, just general preference for keeping to myself than hanging in groups.


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



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mm

#13
July 20, 2014, 06:52:07 PM
I am transitioning in college, it was a gradual process now the the new students see me a guy and the old one know my history.  I am seen now as one of the guys.
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Moimoinen

#14
July 20, 2014, 06:53:56 PM
Quote from: chipper on July 20, 2014, 06:36:08 PM
I had the same fear but didn't let it hold me back. I started testosterone mid semester. Nobody noticed. I'm now 9 months on testosterone and still, nobody has called me out on my more masculine voice and increase in body hair. In the scheme of things, people are pretty oblivious especially when the change is quite gradual, as it is with testosterone.

At the start of every semester, I let my classmates and professors know that my legal name is X but I go by Y. I never tell anyone my gender preference and, despite keeping quiet, I've only been misgendered ONCE. If your quite concerned about being misgendered, you could definitely give your professor a heads up. I've noticed that when my professor clearly genders me, the students quickly follow suit.

Congrats on starting Uni. You'll rock it, amigo!


That is very true, people can be quite oblivious unless they're intentionally watching you or studying everything you are doing. Which is pretty much very very creepy anyway and extremely unlikely.  :D

I think for now I'll not mention it to them. I think it wouldn't be necessary (hopefully) and I had changed my name before starting anyway. Although, I did sign up with my original name, but I should be heading up there and sorting things out relatively soon.  :)

Thanks very much dude!  :icon_rockon:


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  

Moimoinen

#15
July 20, 2014, 06:54:51 PM
Quote from: mm on July 20, 2014, 06:52:07 PM
I am transitioning in college, it was a gradual process now the the new students see me a guy and the old one know my history.  I am seen now as one of the guys.

That's great!  :icon_joy:


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  

mm

#16
July 20, 2014, 07:14:06 PM
Moimoinen, I just live each day a guy and try not to think that I am any different than any other guy.  I am pre-t so get my monthly shark week which is very hard for me to get through, bur I do each month.  I use the men's restrooms in another building near my main classroom and labs building; it is a fine arts building and I am in computer science so little chance that I will see anyone there that knows me.
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Moimoinen

#17
July 20, 2014, 07:25:58 PM
Quote from: mm on July 20, 2014, 07:14:06 PM
Moimoinen, I just live each day a guy and try not to think that I am any different than any other guy.  I am pre-t so get my monthly shark week which is very hard for me to get through, bur I do each month.  I use the men's restrooms in another building near my main classroom and labs building; it is a fine arts building and I am in computer science so little chance that I will see anyone there that knows me.


That is sound advice. I just have to not think about how others see me, and just carry on how I feel naturally!


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  

mm

#18
July 20, 2014, 07:38:59 PM
Moimoinen, just be yourself act normal and very few will even look at you.  Confidence was the best thing I learned when I started using the men's restroom on campus.  Guy just walk in pee may wash there hands and walk out very little talking and no looking at each other or themselves in the mirror.
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Moimoinen

#19
July 20, 2014, 07:46:37 PM
Quote from: mm on July 20, 2014, 07:38:59 PM
Moimoinen, just be yourself act normal and very few will even look at you.  Confidence was the best thing I learned when I started using the men's restroom on campus.  Guy just walk in pee may wash there hands and walk out very little talking and no looking at each other or themselves in the mirror.


Haha, they probably don't want to get hit for looking at another guy in a bathroom! :laugh:


"You all know, don't you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible."
"Fear is a terrible thing,' Moominpappa thought. 'It can come suddenly and take hold of everything, and who will protect all the little creatures?"



  •  
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