I work for a big organization and I deal with public, volunteers, contractors, and coworkers from all levels and departments. Coming out is a big deal and a few months ago I started working with my HR department and management. I set a date of August 2nd for it to be official. I set that timeline because I wanted to give testosterone some time to work. I let management and HR know that people would be told a few weeks before so they'd have some time to adjust.
In the last month or so I've told all my closest coworkers and gotten completely supportive responses. There were a few people who I was really worried about. There is another person who had transitioned 7 years ago and I know they struggled with that. That coworker who transitioned has clearly made things easier for me. I am also flattered to know that my coworkers trust me. Some of the struggle they had with our trans coworker was a fear of judgement in not responding to her correctly and they don't have that fear with me.
The rumor mill has been at work and many more people know now. I've had no problems. Today management share the information with many more of my coworkers. The official memo comes out on Monday but my name tag now says Christopher. There are still many more people who will be told, that I'm Christopher now and I want to be addressed by male pronouns. That's the last step of me coming out. And it's sort of frightened just because of the sheer number and diversity of people.
Today I got to experience something new and wonderful. My coworkers (and even a coworker's spouse) were addressing me as Christopher. There were some contractors I was working with and I didn't have to tell them anything. Maybe my look was androgynous and my voice was on the female side, but socially I was a male to everyone around me so they accepted me as such too. It was freaking awesome.
And I've learned some things along the way. I don't have to explain. I noticed a lady looking at my name tag and sizing me up. She was confused. She didn't say anything though and I don't have to unconfuse her. I don't have to justify who I am. We were there to do some business and we did it and my gender really didn't matter. I don't have to give up who I am to make people comfortable. That is something my therapist has been patiently teaching me. First I learned I didn't have to let people abuse me. Now I'm learning the best lesson of all. I can be me and that's not a bad thing to be.
I am glad I'm easy-going. This is a confusing time for me and my coworkers and friends. I'm watching people struggle to get it right. I never know what gender or name will come out. It's ok. Because I am blessed to be surrounded by people who are really trying. If you are one of those lucky people who has had a lot of acceptance and supportive people in your life, don't take it for granted. It is truly one of the greatest gifts you can receive.
Well, that turned into a bit of a ramble.
Be well all.
