Ever since I came to realization that I might be trans, and I started doing ''the steps'' towards changing myself
I got really quickly a feeling of ''I can't stop this, no matter HOW hard I try". Something inside just exploded and there was nothing I could do to stop that ''energy'' that just wanted to come out
but I kinda just feel worse now, because it's gotten ''too far'' so I can't hide it much longer... where I'm just completely confuzed about everything, what the end of all this looks like (not out yet)
I feel like it's no end to all of this, it just keeps getting worse and worse... It's been 6 months now, and I'm passing most of the time, but when I'm with my family I tone myself down, so I look 'familiar' to them....
I just want my issues to go away...
Getting a therapist in 2 months, so I have to wait to talk to professionals...
Ok.. sorry, I'm definately having a bad day, and that's what's speaking. But did this happen to any of you aswell?
Shouldn't I be more excited? I have days where I am like ''f*** everybody'', but I can't help but feel like I'm disappointing my family, and ''can never face them normally again''... I don't really have anyone left, but my dad, so losing his 'love and pride' in me would be the worst that could happen in life...
