I have never been to any meetings, meet-ups or events before. I tend to be uncomfortable in groups and crowds. I have only met 1 openly trans* person and ftm. But today I went to a trans* pride parade. I wasn't even completely sure where I was going but on the bus someone commented that maybe the gay pride parade was this weekend. This lady spoke up and said yes, and today was the trans* pride parade and she was going. I said "cool! I can follow you so I know where I'm going".
She totally let me hang with her and introduced me to other people. For once in my life I wasn't the weirdo. For once in my life there were people like me. And so many people!!! The news said close to 2,000 people came. And I sort of buddied up with some trans* guys for the parade part and it was fun and even though crowds normally stress me out it just felt good.
And then there was a rally and it was just so amazing to feel safe and normal and I had to find a bathroom and it's the first time there's been absolutely no stress about using the men's room. I don't know, I'm probably being repetitive it was just so awesome to fit in. And I've been so awkward. I'm in that weird andro phase. I'm not passing reliably as a male (although I did get my first "he" today) and I'm not fitting in as female anymore. But I didn't even stress it. I didn't worry about my voice being high and not fitting my body. I was just me!
I took a bunch of photos on my cell phone and I was so much less shy than normal. Like, I asked someone if they could hold up their sign so I could take a picture. That's the kind of thing I would have wanted to do in the past but not done.
The bad thing about taking the pictures on my phone is it wore down the battery I guess? (This is my first smart phone). I'm not a city person and I don't know the bus system and the bus info was stored on my phone. So when the phone went dead I was sort of out of luck. I also didn't have a watch so had no way of knowing what time it was to catch a bus. I still think I went to the right place to catch the bus but the bus I needed never came (might have been done for the night).
Now, I think the testosterone may be changing me because when I realized I wasn't going to be able to catch the bus there and had no phone so no easy way to figure it out, I didn't really stress. I sort of tried to wing it. I asked a bus driver and her directions weren't super helpful but I got the gist that I needed to go farther downtown. Since I wasn't sure what bus to catch or what time it was to catch the bus I walked. I'm wearing a shirt that has a pride symbol on it and I got nothing but positive comments. I finally end up at bus terminal. But since I live in hicksville, the bus I needed to get to my park and ride didn't run out of there. But this awesome security guard helped me out, even helping me find a bathroom (lord did I have to pee by then) and walking me out to where the street was.
Awesome day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
