For those whom haven't read my story, in Japan, I need my wife's authorisation to start hormones.
She put my coming out to my mom as a prior condition (among others) to give me the authorisation.
There is never a good timing to come out to your parents, I think.
So, I did.
I started to tell her we had some serious things to talk about.
I tried to reassure her it wasn't a disease, wasn't financial problems, etc.
When I told her I was going to a gender therapy, all broke loose.
I devastated her.
She knew something was 'wrong' but never acknowledged it.
She said that I'm killing her son, the person I need to become is not going to be her child, all the moments of joy and sadness we shared were fake.
I told her that is wasn't true, it was a continuation in my life, that I chose to live.
She is afraid she will loose her own social circle because of me.
Afraid of what people will tell behind our backs.
Afraid of what will happen to me along the way.
I didn't choose this, but chose to do something about it.
She made me promise not to tell my father (my parents are divorced) because he will probably disown me.
She said she won't disown me.
I know this is hard for a parent.
I don't know how hard.
In all, it was a total disaster.
My brothers told me she will eventually get over it.
Time will tell.
I feel like slipping down a dangerous emotional pit.
Burrying everything back is not the solution. Won't solve anything.
If I can give a 2 cents advice, choose wisely friends to come out to first, friends whom would support you before telling your parents.
I can frankly talk with them about what is happening.
Sonia
