Heya

[Einzt]

Hello there everyone! I'm really bad at introduction threads so I'll try to make this brief.

I'm MTF and closeted to my family. I've known that  I was trans for four years now, however my dysphoria has been gradually becoming worse since 2012. I've lost almost all motivation and my grades have been slipping tremendously due to it. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but I have no way of seeing a psychologist without my family questioning me. I've been extremely open to my friends about this, however I just can't muster up the courage to come out to my close relatives which is keeping me from beginning to transition.

I've lurked these forums for a while without an account and so I've read up on the rules and ranks and stuff, I hate to join communities without a good amount of knowledge on how things are run  Love Y'all!

[Jessica Merriman]

Since you say you are depressed I am sure it shows to your family. Just tell them you would like to see a Therapist to learn to deal with it. The only one who will know the real reason for the sessions is you and the Therapist. That is one way to see one without raising any suspicion. They can give you the tools and knowledge to eventually come out successfully. 

[Einzt]

I tried to tell my mom that I'd like a therapist but she tried to coax me into explaining my feelings to her instead. She's very ignorant when it comes to anything that has to do with doctors of any kind. She scoffs at me when I tell her I may have something physically wrong with me as well and she tells me that it's all in my head. (for example, I experienced pre-diabetic symptoms last year and her side of the family has a lot of cases of diabetes yet when I told her she refused to make me a doctor's appointment)

[Xenguy]

Welcome Einzt! I hope all goes well for you at home, we're always here, so the forums are definitely a good place for seeking help I'd suggest showing your parents your sadness so that they'll take it more seriously if you come out. My own mom noticed my grades were slipping and I was crying every day, and she bothered me every time about it. So when I did come out, she realized how real my dysphoria was and that it was the cause for most of my other problems. It took a while for her to really understand what transition entailed, but she accepted me almost immediately. I wish you the best and hopefully acceptance from your family.