Swimming at the Gym and Scars

[Bastian]

Hey guys,

The fitness centre at my school is pretty great. We have weight lifting rooms, a rock climbing wall, racquet related things and a swimming pool. Before everything started changing around four years ago (coming out, binding, surgery, T, etc) I loved swimming. I still do. I am a certified scuba diver and have dived all over the world. The thing with diving is you get to wear a wet suit, which as will become evident with the questions and worries to follow means my experiences diving are not even a fraction as worrying to me and swimming at the gym. Not a day goes by that I don't miss diving (even if i've just been!).

Anyways, every time I go to the gym to work out I have to walk by the swimming pool, and I get to stare listlessly at it wishing I could jump in. It's driving me insane. I miss the water, I miss swimming everyday.
I want to do it again on a day to day basis. But I don't know how...

I am post op on my chest for just over a year now () and it turned out pretty good, considering I was a double D and not in the best of shape. One nipple got a bit elongated and 'funny' but both retained erectile tissue and some feeling and they look pretty good to me, even the 'funny' one. What worries me is my scars... They are thin, but they run almost the entire width of my chest and theres some super mild dog-earing on one side (the funny side). I'm incredibly nervous about having someone see my scars. Or rather having someone I know see my scars. For the most part I spent my entire first year of uni passing as male and couldn't be happier (I think only three people called me 'she'). And I want to keep it that way. I don't want a single person to suspect me of being ftm.

I just don't know what to do. Should I wear like a top with my trunks? That seems weird and I put all this money into my chest. One day I'm hoping to get a full chest tattoo that will hide my scars (probably by cleverly incorporating them into the design) but as of right now, my chest is very much unlink-ed.

There are a couple other details I need help with as well. For the first three-fourths of the first year I would finish my workout in the morning, grab my bag from my locker and head upstairs to the bathroom where I knew there were large handicap sized change rooms so I could get changed without fear. Near the end I got lazy and decided to give it a try and just changed in the change room. It was fine. That being said I still do not shower (as of right now) at the school post-workout. I know it's gross... But here's my problem: The shows are completely none-private at my school. We are talking the full on, everyone strip and shower together set-up. I can't do that, I just can't. I am 100% not comfortable with stripping naked in front of other guys, even if theres a "0% chance anyones going to care or notice".

So if I swim every morning before classes like I so desperately want to how the hell am I going to get clean??

Ignoring the whole "How do I hide my chest scars?" issue for a moment, I can theoretically get from the swimming pool to the change rooms and into a private bathroom stall without raising a single eye brow. Upon which I suppose I could just change in there? But that doesn't solve the whole smelling like chlorine thing.

So maybe Instead I just stay in my swimsuit while I shower off, then strategically move to the bathroom stall? I'm sort of also terrified of changing from my swim trunks into my briefs just because of the packing issue. I will be getting a new packer soon (hopefully a Like Reel) so I will use my old one for swimming since all i'm after is the 'look'. And i'm fairly confident I could get changed (at least my bottom half) in the toilet stall and then just change the rest of me like normal.... Or maybe I could just change my bottoms out under a towel around my waist? Do guys do that? I've only ever seen one guy do that in the change room so I don't know if it's 'acceptable'? I didn't care personally and no one else seemed to notice....

Man, so much angst over just wanting to be able to do something I love...

So to summarize this rant (and thank you for reading if you did),
1. How do I deal with my chest scars? (The answer: "Don't worry about it" is really unhelpful and unwelcomed)
2. How do I shower? Leave my trunks on and clean off instead of striping down? What about the previously mentioned chest scars?
3. How do I get changed from my trunks to my briefs when i'm packing? I pack every day with a harness but i've never dropped my pants in the locker room, should I do some towel ninja-ing?

Thanks to anyone who replies, I really appreciate any help you can offer me. I just want to swim again...

[TrojanMan]

Hi, I'm pre op, but I loved swimming too. This is one of the many reasons why I want to get surgery, and as it is I can't swim while being comfortable these days. the only thing as i could suggest to you is to wear a swim shirt or just swim with your chest that most of the transmen on here would be jealous of. I understand you being uncomfortable with someone seeing the scars, but most people would assume that you had some sort of surgery not necessarily transgender surgery but maybe something about your rib cage or your heart. I highly doubt someone that you don't know would ask you about your scars, but I have heard that some men have made up stories about those scars and people actually believe them. So those are my suggestions.

[MaximmusFlavius]

I started swimming a few months before top surgery. I wore an old, looser binder with a cheap running type t-shirt on top. I just got changed in the toilet cubicle. As for showers, I had a quick one with all my swimming stuff on still after swimming, then had a proper shower when I got home (I used to go in the evening). I didn't really pay attention to anyone else, but from what I saw, very few guys stripped fully for showering. Most kept their swimming shorts on.

I have started going swimming again, 2 months post-op. My scars are still very much visible, but so far I've not had any odd looks or comments. There is pretty much no chance that I would run into anyone I know there, but even if I did, I wouldn't really care. Would probably say something about a surgery I had to have but I didn't want to talk about it. I've tried thinking of a plausible, non-trans explanation if I need it, but haven't really managed to come up with anything. The swimming pool I go to now has unisex changing rooms, so all the cubicles have doors and the showers are open and face towards the swimming pool, so everyone just showers in there swimming gear.

Because I want to swim, I just put the fact that everyone can see my scars (and my hips, the main reason I've taken up swimming is to get rid of as much of them as possible) out of my mind and get on with it. The same applied when I was pre-op. I'm pretty sure everyone could see my chest and body shape as wet clothes cling pretty badly, but I just put it out of my mind and got on with it. I don't pack whilst swimming and people could probably tell but I think most people would just assume I was not particularly well endowed. Some people may see the scars and lack of bulge and figure out I'm trans, but they're all strangers who I'll probably never see again, therefore I don't really care.

As far as showering goes, are there any other showers around campus? At my uni they have some along with the toilets in a few of the buildings, presumably for people who cycle to work etc. As far as wearing a t-shirt to swim, I've seen a few guys doing that. I thought about it to hide my scars, but it's annoying and clingy. Most of the time is spent face-down in the water, so my scars aren't that visible to everyone.

[Bastian]

Thank you for sharing, it's interesting to see how others deal with these issues,
Unfortunately none of this is helpful to me as most of my degree is physically active and I will see people I know at the pools, so as I mentioned in the original post the whole "who cares" things just won't work for me. I need a legitimate way or tips on how to hid my scars to and from the pool and while changing and showering.

[LordKAT]

There are one piece suits that some wear. That might help for the pool, I don't have a suggestion for the showers or changing area.