Quote from: Soon2bShannon on July 26, 2014, 08:47:56 PMI ask because I have been seeing a therapist for almost a year and looking to get serious about transition, but the "real life" test of full time is something of a concern to me. I think I am probably in the minority, but I identify and see myself more as a tom-boy type woman. I don't feel I need breast augmentation or long hair or dresses. I just want to be me, and I've spent 35 years as a jeans-and-tshirt kinda guy and want to be the same kind of girl. I've always been a somewhat private person, and I'll deal with people who notice changes as they come, but I'm really not concerned with being "misgendered" as I guess I'm going for a more androgynous everyday look.
So is there anyone else out there that has experience relative to my situation? I guess my fear is if I don't tell them I want to wear ultra-feminine clothes or have long hair/large breasts they'll think I'm not serious about believing I'm a woman. I will most certainly be happy if someone uses female pronouns, but will it hurt my ability to proceed if I say it won't be world ending for me if it doesn't always happen?
The few times I have presented as female, it has been in black bootcut jeans & a girl's t-shirt. This is what I find comfortable. Granted, I have been described as "sartorially challenged".
Once I started Estrogen, the compulsion to wear female clothing abated. It has never really been about the clothing for me. It is about how I feel living in my own skin. Staying entirely male became unbearable for me in Jan 2013, and I had to do something about that. For me, the something I needed has been HRT.
Most of the time I present as male just because it is easier. As my body gently morphs over time, I may reach a point where it becomes easier for me to present as female rather than male. In the meantime, I am somewhere inbetween the two, and comfortable there for now. I live in Philadelphia, which means I do not have to worry too much about overt transphobia.
I do not worry myself over what pronouns people are using for me. I have enough to worry about already without looking for more.
As to your question about being allowed to proceed:
If you are seeing an NHS therapist in the UK, then the NHS rules seem to demand a full year living as "the other gender" (eg: female for MtF) before giving any HRT at all. I am very glad this did not apply to me. I do not think I would have been able to survive that much humiliation.
If you are seeing a private therapist & general practitioner in the UK, then there is unlikely to be any requirement for a "real life" test.
If you are living in the US, then there should be no expectation of any "real life" test before receiving HRT. There are many medical practices that operate on an "informed consent" model. This basically means signing a waiver stating that you know what you are doing & do not hold the medical practice legally responsible for anything that might result from the HRT medication.
If you are living elsewhere, then check the laws & rules there, &/or state the name of the country here & hopefully someone will be able to help. Treatment for trans folk varies widely from one country to the next.
Hope this helps,
Tessa
