Ugh, ok so here it goes.
My dysphoria is... strange (to me) at best. It seems to pick and chose what it flares up over and has no rhyme or reason. For instance, I have no desire to have children, even if I was born cis I still don't think I'd wanna get pregnant. The other day though, I saw a pregnant lady and I thought to myself: 'wow, I'll never be able to do that'. I don't think it was so much the actual pregnancy aspect of it, so much as it was realizing my body will always be different. I also abhor my body hair and it drives me absolutely nuts. I guess my dysphoria is strongest in a social sense. It gets a little more complicated though. When I think about how other people are thinking about me, I always hear he and I swear I wanna scream every time it happens.
I don't even know what kind of discussion could be held on this, but feel free to ask any questions or what not. I just felt the urge to write it on here because it's really the only true safe space I have.
