I never thought I'd ever say this...

[Thundra]

Basically, what I'm saying is that thanks to Susan's I've learnt to accept that I'm not really trans at all any more and that's wonderful, because it goes to show just how effective the transitioning process really is and just how lucky I am to have been born into an era where medical help was available.

Isn't that the point?

It's your life to live ~ no reason to feel guilty for moving on.

I think it's wonderful. Congradulations on becoming you!

[MelissaW]

As a new person to the board I was going to post a similar thread "Am I still a transsexual?" until I came across this one.

The trans aspect of my life is still there, for example, with family, old friends, or when I dilate.

But for the rest of the time I'm just a woman.

[Melissa]

For me, it seems like much of the time I don't feel "trans" and I'm treated as just another woman.  As time has gone on, I've become more and more stealth (no reason to tell really).  Although I'm still pre-op and am reminded when using the bathroom, on these forums, or undressed, the rest of the time I just identify as another woman and feel like such.  I still do experience new things in life, but doing so has become an integral part of who I am.  I guess maybe it's kind of odd or unusual for a pre-op to feel this way?   I'm not sure.

[cindybc]

Hi Cindy and all. I guess we two Cindie and Cindy finally connect on the same page. I feel very much like some of you do here. I have been living as a woman for 8 years and had the opp, 4 years ago.

This was the first place where I came to learn more about transsexuality but left here I believe it was a couple of years prior to the opp. I went in search of other things of interest to do, which one of them was to have had the fortune of  being a Social Worker. Well I worked as a social Worker for 20 years. I loved my job because I really cared for those who are in need. I continued to work as a Social Worker for the last 8 years in my true identity, Cindy, the gender I present to be to this day, my true self.

I use to run a couple of support message board for the intuitive. So I certainly have had my fair share and experience at rescue missions, Addicts, Alcoholics, mental health consumers, street people  as well as counseling recovering alcoholics.  If anyone  is in need to share their burdens with me I would be more then honored to do so. If anyone is interested you may visit Spirituality and Transition thread in the Spiritual Forum.

To respond to the question about how I feel about the label transsexual or trance woman well I never gave it a thought again after I left this group 8 years ago. I was just me and maybe just a bit proud as to what I have accomplished as Cindy, which is certainly much more then my prior self did. I will sum up by telling you all what my daughter, a child psychologist now (and I am proud of her to)  when I last saw her as she was geting on the bus to go back to University in TO she said, you know dad? when I needed the help the most, there was none there to give me that support. I did it all by my own self.

Cindy   

[daisybelle]

I kind of look at it this way....

I was a man.   I am currently transgendered, probably transsexual.  Some day I might be a woman.

The "trans" prefix means to cross or across, like a bridge spans a body of water... we are crossing from being a man side to being a woman.

For example.... many people immigrate here and become citizens.   They are still who they were, and have the culture background from where they came but they are now "Americans".   Being an "American" does not mean you give up your cultural food like Pasta, but to embrace it and expand your horizons of all cultures.  Transitioning is like taking the citizenship test ( only more painful ).

Once you have gone thru SRS -- you are a Woman ( or man for the FTM crowd ).   This does not mean you have to give up who you are, just that you have earned a new label.   

To me the "trans" only describes the time you  are in the middle.   From the time you start your journey to the time you end it.

To me Transsexuals have a clear  endpoint  which they reach, while other transgendered labels have us traversing the turbulent sea without ever reaching an end point, except maybe to start over at the point where we started after going thru purges and denials of who we  truly are.

Daisy

[BCL]

To me Transsexuals have a clear  endpoint  which they reach, while other transgendered labels have us traversing the turbulent sea without ever reaching an end point, except maybe to start over at the point where we started after going thru purges and denials of who we  truly are.

Daisy

The end point is when you let go and stop seeing yourself as Transsexual, unfortunately society cannot get past the label that is given to us at the start of transition.

As long as we find a happier life than we did before, thats a good end point for me.

Rebecca

[asiangurliee]

I can never forget my life history, how can i not be trans ever? I am trans, always will be and it's not a bad thing. It makes me feel good to have a history.

I respect those who dont consider themselves as trans, though. Its a personal opinon.

[Kate]

I can never forget my life history...

I dunno if we always have a choice? At least with me, it's becoming more and more difficult to fit pre-transition memories into who I am now. Those memories don't "stick" or make much sense anymore. I may have physically lived those experiences, but emotionally, spiritually... it wasn't exactly ME. It's like remembering a movie I watched long ago or something.

At least that's how it *feels* to me these days.

~Kate~

[Keira]

I can't relate to pictures of me in any settings, its a good thing there are not that many past 20. Its like it happened to somebody else... And sometimes I wish it did.

[cindybc]

Hi  I have been going on 8 years full time and post-op four years now. I agree with you Kate, there is not much I remember that is of any relevance to my life today. Maybe I was lucky or something, the past 8 years has been mostly positive experiences for me. I worked with people, the public sector every day, and I will be getting back into doing similar type of work again soon. I consider myself just a woman who works and integrates with other women on a daily basis.

Cindy 

[pretty pauline]

This is a very interesting topic, but I really do want to say something to Berliegh, from your photo your a very beautiful woman, but you have a lot of pain, the NHS have a lot to answer for, no transgender person has an easy rid, but your pain really comes out in your posts, Im 22years post op, maybe I was lucky I didn't have to deal with the NHS, but then I surpose everybody's situation is always different.
My own situation was different, I came from a family of 4boys, I was the youngest, from a very young age I always felt I was a girl, I came out when I was 16, my Mam and Dad where very supportive, but I think I gave them their own need, I becamed the daughter they always wanted and a sister to my brothers, we lived in a 3bedroom house, when I came out, my parents moved my brother to the other room with my 2other brothers, so it end up, my Mam and Dad in 1room, my brothers in the other room, I now had my own room, my parents sort of helped my transition along very quickly, after my brother moved out with all his stuff, my Mam and  Dad changed the bedroom and made it very girlie with lots of pinks, they wanted pauline to have her own room, at 18 I went fulltime and it wasn't even my choice at the time, but I was happy, one day my Mam put all my male clothes into bags and left them in a charity shop, the next few weeks myself and Mam went shopping, I really enjoyed that, lots of blouses, skirts and dresses. I think Mam just enjoyed shopping with her daughter
My Dad use to tell my brothers pauline and Mam are gone shopping'' it was just excepted, thats what women do, during my 20s I had FFS, breast enhancement, electrolysis........ all paid for by my parents, I finally had SRS when I was 28, I went thru a lot, some may say my parents where pushy, they wanted this daughter and I wasn't going to let them down, the good times I surpose, my brothers and Dad spoiled me rotten, but I gratefull to them for making me the woman I have become, I don't think I would have done it without, there are women on this board who have done it without this kind of support and they are very brave, if I didn't have that support maybe I would not have been so brave, so hang on in there Berliegh, you very brave and you do have the support of this board.

[cindybc]

Hi pretty pauline, welcome to Susan's What a wonderful story it is like a breath of fresh air for a change. I just pray that your life continues to run so smoothly.

Cindy

[Hypatia]

All of you who say you "don't feel trans" any more--

What do you mean by "feel trans"? What does that feel like?

I'm not sure I follow this. I get what you mean when you say you just feel like you're a woman--I've felt that all along. Even for years before I began dealing with this issue. Although since I've changed my name and gone fulltime I've noticed how easy and frictionless it's become in my life in the world to not only feel that I'm a woman but to have the public assent to this along with me. It used to be a heartbreaking struggle. Is that what "feel trans" means?

[Laura Elizabeth Jones]

I can never forget my life history...

I dunno if we always have a choice? At least with me, it's becoming more and more difficult to fit pre-transition memories into who I am now. Those memories don't "stick" or make much sense anymore. I may have physically lived those experiences, but emotionally, spiritually... it wasn't exactly ME. It's like remembering a movie I watched long ago or something.

At least that's how it *feels* to me these days.

~Kate~

That is how it feels to me too, Kate. Even though I was going through a really rough period just a few months ago, it seems more like years ago instead.

[cindybc]

Hi, Hypatia,

I believe what they are saying is that after the hardship of going through SRS, the job of transitioning is as complete as it can be and it's time to move on to being just one of many other women out there.

I left this message board and a couple years later I got SRS and went out and worked and lived as Cindy for seven years. The thoughts of being trans had long left me. I just found the link for Susan's when I was cleaning out my email box. Since I am not doing anything at this time I thought it may be a good time to get in-touch with my siStars again, to learn and teach to the best of my ability.

Cindy 

[Wing Walker]

Hi, All,

I began my transition in April of 2002 and started on HRT on July 2002.

In May 2004 I reported to work.

I expect to have GRS in June 2008.

I don't feel that I am trans anything.  I have already made my transition and as I have no need to discuss it with anyone besides my doctors.  If someone doesn't get my gender correct I have my ways, from mild to "biting on the leg" to deal with it.

I hate the expression "stealth" and I refuse to use it on anyone, especially me.  I am not hiding anything.  I am not required to share the details of my life with anyone.

This gives me a shell when I need it and protection from the abundance of ignorance in our contemporary society.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Wing Walker

[daisybelle]

I can never forget my life history, how can i not be trans ever? I am trans, always will be and it's not a bad thing. It makes me feel good to have a history.

I respect those who dont consider themselves as trans, though. Its a personal opinon.

I am defintiely not suggesting you forget your history.... but look at it this way.  There are many times you have transitioned in your life before.  For example puberty transitioned you from youth to adolescent.   Then from teen-ager to adult etc...

Surely you do not feel like a teenager anymore. 

Remember I suggested being transgendered is the in-between you ultimate goals the bridge or tunnel between your old life and your new.

just a thought

Daisy

[cindybc]

I do! but then maybe I am the exception. "Beep, beep," it's just me from planet Mars.
Putting the sock tugging aside, I do agree with what you posted Daisy hon.

Cindy

[melissa90299]

GRS changed EVERYTHING for me, being able to go on dates and be intimate with men and women and remain "stealth" is extremely validating and affirming.  Now my only problem is when to disclose if a long term relationship develops.

I don't really feel"trans" either and I am only four months post-op but I will never deny my trans status within the community.

[Hypatia]

I believe what they are saying is that after the hardship of going through SRS, the job of transitioning is as complete as it can be and it's time to move on to being just one of many other women out there.

I get that. But I still don't know what people mean by "feel trans." Do you mean something like "feeling like your transition is still incomplete"? A feeling that you have more to do to reach your goal?

Is it a feeling like that of kids in the back seat asking "Are we there yet?" Do I ever know what that feels like.