A warm hello from a very young and determined girl <3

[Kristinadiva]

 First off I'd like to say hello and thank you to Susan's and everyone behind it! !!

My name is Kristina.  30 yr old pre-op hailing from Canada!  Only been fulltime for about three months.  I have been coming to this site for many years and have never really participated on message boards but I feel that it is time now lol.

A little background on me and how I came to where I'm at today for anyone that's interested..  As for most the dysphoria hit its breaking point and my Bell was ringing and wouldn't quit
I might have jumped in a lil to quickly but I didn't see an alternative.  March 14th was the exact date when I first saw Kristina..  I always knew she was there and had been completely dressed a couple times but always tried  telling myself it was just a fetish.. But she was always there.  Ever kinda at steam rolled after that day and I was living fulltime by the middle of may.. First day I went into work dressed I got fired and it wasn't like I didn't come out first and give them notice.. They waited till noon them wrote me up for previous stuff to use as an excuse.  I didn't fight  it like I should have and I didn't go backwards like everyone told me to.. Work was hard to find and my experimenting on Craigslist turned into my bread and butter.  Had to learn alot In a very short amount of time.  This inadvertently  led me to the love my life and something you only read in fairy tales. I'm sober healthy and happier I have ever been and who can ask for more then that right.  I will be starting on horomones soon.  Hoping to make some lasting relationships on here and have nothing but time and to many Questions to list in my introduction lol

[JulieBlair]

Wow, a warm hello back at you.  The standard line for DIY hormones is don't, but since you are going to regardless, start very slowly and get some baseline blood work done first.  No point in cooking your liver eh?  Are you planning on getting started with counseling?  A good gender specialist helped me figure out a lot of what was going on, and has been an invaluable ally as I have grown and learned about honesty and authenticity.

All that said, welcome and I look forward to hearing your story my amazingly decisive friend. I cannot imagine moving that quickly, it took me decades of angst and dithering to come out full time.  If I had your courage I might have saved myself an awful lot of heartache, I truly wish you joy.

Fair winds and calm seas,
Julie

[Kristinadiva]

Aww thnx hun!!  The therapist I'm waiting to see has a six to nine month waiting list and that's just  for an initial appointment..  and by then I'm going to try as many doctors as I can to a get a referral to an endo...  The doctor is gonna be a lil more ethically compelled by that point and asked for a referral.  at least this is my plan anyway..  I would like to be done or close to done my (rlt) by the time I see my therapist so I can live forward with the srs stage.. Or at least begin that waiting
period.. Lol

I was diagnosed when I was twelve after a failed suicide attempt and could've started my transition then but being in a redneck town with very religious parents that didn't accept it

[V M]

Hi Kristina 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[JulieBlair]

Ah the joys of the true north strong and free.  It the states we end up paying more, but we get in pretty quickly.  Guess there is no free lunch, but if I could I would live in Vancouver.  Where in the Dominion do you live?  There are some pretty amazing T-Girls up there.

j

[Kristinadiva]

Haha ya the true white North lol Vancouver is beautiful for sure I was born and raised in northern bc.  But currently living in Edmonton Alberta.  The trans scene here is blowing up!  As it is everywhere I see that in part to the Internet but the times are changing and it's a beautiful thing to be on the front lines doing my part to raise awareness and being on the ambassador team for an upcoming TV series that is to be filmed in Finland but aired in ten different countries.  I'm really having my eyes opened since I started this social networking or blogging if you want to call it that.. Its just been a really heart warming experience and meeting ppl like you my dear make my day=)

[Kristinadiva]

How do I put a pic up and be a member instead of just a visitor?  I couldn't figure it out for the life of me and gave up  hehe

[JulieBlair]

You have to post fifteen or so entries.  Be sure to check out the links from V M's welcome. The answer to that question is under

Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)

I rode my motorcycle to the Stampede years ago.  Pretty country, but I lived in Alaska for ten years and am way over winter. Talk to you later on, they actually expect me to do some work here today. lol

j

[EllieM]

Hey Kristina, g'dday from Ontario, eh?
Quite the intro there. Listen Kris, I know that some GPs will refer you based on informed consent, but still, gotta tell ya, I'm on the same page with Ms. Blair about counseling. If it turns out that you get your referral in advance of starting with a therapist, you should still invest some "time on the couch" when the opportunity presents. Seriously... does wonders   I admire your courage in forging ahead with such resolve!

The TV series sounds intriguing! When can we expect to see it?

Keep smiling Miss Kris, I'm looking forward to more

[Kristinadiva]

Gday Ellie =))
I have every intention of seeing a therapist dear..  For reasons beyond my control I haven't had the opportunity yet.  I reached out when I was in b.c and was told I had to go to Vancouver,  I told mental health I just wanted to deal with my anger he said that stemmed from my dysphoria and wouldn't even talk to me about it.  It's a shame there isn't more trained therapists because the wait lists are discouraging and detrimental.  Self meditating isn't a joke the fact that I have to jump through hoops says there is something wrong with the system.  With that being said we do have it alot better than when I was a teenager.  I've found it in myself to fight my mental battles.. I write alot of poetry and journals /free writing I think with out that I never would've made the step to come out.  When you look back on years of poems and journal entries that all scream pain and suffering there ultimately is only one way to deal with it..  and for year's I would read other people's journeys, Sitting on the sidelines so to speak.  dreaming and wishing I could be that girl in the pic or the one that I was reading about now I can proudly say that I am that girl now=)

I benefited immensely just from forums like this but never joined to often and only ever made a few comments when I was desperate to have someone that understood me.   

I'm making it my life's goal to be an activist now and to use social networking and media to do my best so it's easier for our next generation and try and give back for those who did so much for me.   And to answer the question about the filming Ellie.  September first is when everything starts the launch and the filming  but we are keeping a tight lid on most of the details till then.  All I can say is its gonna be huge and Im super excited to be a part of it =)))

You both seem like wonderful woman!! And Julie  I have not heard the fairwell  "fair winds and calm seas"  in a long time!  but if you lived in Alaska for ten years  I can understand the relation lol.  I worked in the Yukon diamond drilling for a whole we were thirty miles down river from jueano actually.  Flying to work every day in a helicopter was a blessing weather permitting of course.  some of the most breathtaking sights in the world there!

Gday ladies=)

[JulieBlair]

Hi Kristina,
Ellie and I are wonderful don't ya know    .  I lived in Juneau for seven years, and you're right, when the sun shines it is a paradise.  I can forever skip October though, sideways rain and 2 C.  I sometimes thought I would never survive till things froze up, the skys cleared, and the Aurora came out.  The times I went skiing on the Mendenhall Lake up to the glacier under dancing lights will forever grace my memory.

My friends and I used to take the Ferry and run up to Whitehorse on weekends pretty frequently, my biggest remembrance is of mosquitoes that could carry off small children, but the hike over Chilkoot pass to Lake Bennett was one of the prettiest back country journeys I have ever done and the sound of the loons at dawn still haunts me.

Well, maybe I could survive the winter on the prairie after all.

Cheers,
j