Typical "need advice!" post...but it's true! I do need it!

[Amy The Bookworm]

I know that this is probably a common topic here, but ...

I've decided that since I'm going to be starting HRT very soon, I should probably start getting some clothing. Nothing major, maybe a dress or two, and an outfit. Just to get used to wearing women's clothing and to figure out style, what works for me, what I like, and so on. Just the best I can get for about $200 or so.

Here's the problem.

I have absolutely no idea where to start with this. The only time I've ever gotten to dress as a woman in the past was for a bet between a few women and men when I was working in retail where a few women bet some guys that they could make me look like a woman (they won, though, this was also when I was 18 and considerably thinner. I'm 5'6, and at the time I weighed 125 pounds, where as now, I'm 33 and weigh 180).

I really don't know anything about shopping for women's clothing. How do I figure out sizes? how do I choose a bra (even if until I develop breasts I intend to stuff it with ... what do I stuff it with?!)? How do I avoid spending a lot of money that I don't have and get something I'll really like? How do I go about trying clothing on when to the outside world I look like a man with longish hair? How do a make and use a gaff (I don't even know if that's the right word ... something you wear to better hide less feminine places)?  How does one 'tuck', and is it necessary? How do I choose panty hoes and shoes? How do I choose a color (...I always hear that color is important... I don't want to wear the wrong color? What about--

...

Is it normal for something I've been looking forward to my whole life to be so confusing and terrifying?

HELP!

[JulieBlair]

Laughter in the background.

Amy
Welcome to fashion land.  First, thrift stores are your friend.  You body and taste will change rather a lot on HRT, and spending a bunch of cash now isn't really useful.  The exception - buy shoes that fit.  Some flats, and a pair of heels, say 2".  Do you have a girlfriend you can go out exploring with?  That helps a lot, and most women will be delighted to show you the ropes.

Talk to the sales people, they know the stock, and they will help.  Don't be afraid to try stuff on.  Even if you know your size, cuts fit differently.  The first time I went shopping for girl stuff for myself, I was half panicked, and didn't follow any of my own advice.  That way is normal, and a little silly.  There are people on site to help, and they will.

Hold your head high and have a blast.  If you are in Seattle ring me up, if not there are trans girls everywhere, make a connection, make a friend.

Happy Trails,
Julie

[JulieBlair]

On bras, get a B cup breast form, don't stuff the darn thing with socks.  lol
To size it, measure around your rib cage just below your breasts.  Add four inches, and that is your size.  For me the measurement  is 34", and I wear 38C boobie holders.

Don't worry about a gaff, wear two pair of panties with a tight tuck, you'll be flat in front and look fine. 

Finally it sounds like it is time to start getting in shape.  I lost forty pounds when I started this journey, you can too.  It makes a huge difference in how you look and in how confident you are.  Once you start HRT it is harder to lose the lard, so begin now,  you won't regret it.  Also diets don't work.  The literature is full of bugus information.  See a nutritionist, and resign youself to a lifestyle that doesn't have much ice cream or Doritos in it.  My girlfriend has a a mantra, "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny."

Julie

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Amy

Oooooh, a veritable minefield of things to do.  I've made the wardrobe change during the last 3 months, so I can truly relate, girl.  Here are some tips:

Have a look at this website.  http://www.thechicfashionista.com/   It's a great place to learn about body types and what looks good.  Most M2F start off as rectangular or inverted triangle.  There is plenty of clothing out there for us, but know what would look good on you.

Shopping:  I truly recommend you go out with a girlfriend, or someone like a sister if you have one nearby and willing.  Women's clothing sizes are not complex, but these girls know a lot, so use them.

Also consider buying online once you know your size - at least the changeroom is totally private 

Julie is right though - thrift stores or budget labels are really the place to start.  But do go somewhere professional for your bras where they will advise you - they need to fit properly now, as well as later when you have real stuff to fill them with.


Finally an anecdote:  I bought a really nice dress online a few weeks ago, but before I was sure about it I decided to take it for a 20-minute outing in my neighbourhood (Madrid is like Manhattan - you leave your apartment and you're in the hubbub of the city.)  So I get dolled up and leave the house.  I get a couple of those head-to-toe laser scans from a couple of women, which normally means you're doing better than average.   So I continue.  And then I hear someone calling "Perdona, perdona."  I turn around and there's a woman about to open the street door to her apartment.  She motions me over and, very discreetly, tucks the price label into the dress.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!   Equal parts annoyance and amusement from me.  She was very kind!  Let this be a lesson to the trainee girl! 

[Katy]

Most of what I was going to say has already been said so I will just give a quick thumbs up to the advice above.  There are a variety of online resources that can help you deal with sizing to a degree.  Begin there.  Next, the thrift store is where to shop.  Be prepared for some trial and error.  That's why at this stage you don't want to spend a lot of money on any one item.  Be sure to check out the return policy so that if you miss in this initial hit and miss shopping phase, you can return them and try again.  As far as style goes, keep it simple and basic.  Once you gain experience both in terms of what fits, what you really like, and what clothing really likes your body, you can be more venturesome.  Enjoy the process even if there is a learning curve.  It actually is rather fun.  Cheers, Katy