Howdy

[schrutie]

Hello beautiful humans!

Currently, I am 29 years old (as of March 7, 2014) and I prefer to go by schrutie on the web. I am... really new to all of this. It was around March of this year that I fully came out to myself as a lesbian - as in I'm biologically female and I prefer other women whose gender identity is in the feminine. Warning: I am still working with terminology here, so I apologize for my ignorance.

More recently, I've been looking into myself, my past, researching, and I identify myself in the masculine when it comes to gender.... I came out to myself with this around early May of 2014. I honestly don't have a preference in pronouns at this moment, though I get a good feels when I'm referred to in the masculine.

I've struggled with a whole slew of medical problems including mental health issues with anxiety and depression, but I can honestly say that I have never (in my life) felt this at peace. It's not to say that I have overcome these struggles, but it feels as if at least part of that weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  Like one part of me has been figured out, a part of me that I had been suppressing for 28 years because I was ashamed of myself.

I'm still not completely out in my 'real life' about any of this, but I have told a few choice friends and a family member I felt comfortable talking with about this... and felt as if they wouldn't reject me when they found out. It's not a perfect situation, but as I tell the people I've told so far... I am a work in progress and right now I'm concentrating on getting more physically healthy before anything else because I need to set that as my priority right now.

I found this site while researching how much top surgery would cost mostly out of the curiosity of if I still want to do it later. As said, I'm currently working on my physical health and doing so will allow me think about the non-essential things in more depth later.

Hopefully I don't sound like a total noob here, but if I do that's because I am lol

To new beginnings and the future!

Schrutie

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome Schrutie!! The first step for most of us here was to find a Therapist with gender experience to guide us in our journey and make sure we were on the right path. It sounds like you would benefit from this as well being you have discovered and accepted yourself recently. They can help with letters for HRT if that is a path you may some day choose. They are well worth the expense in my opinion and can make transition a little easier as far as dealing with other medical providers. I hope you enjoy your time with us and get a lot out of it. 

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[schrutie]

Thank you very much Jessica :]

I am currently seeing a mental health doctor, but I don't know what experience she has in this area. However, I do see her on the 27th (I haven't seen her or my therapist since April lol so really exploring these options came in between these appointments) and I plan on telling her about this... to the best of my ability. It'll be nerve wreaking but I know I need to do it.

Again, thank you for your suggestions and welcome

[Ms Grace]

Welcome to Susan's, schrutie! We share the same birthday (although, alas, I am a fair few years older)

[schrutie]

Thank you, Ms Grace! Sweet, I have never met anyone with the March 7th birthday - online and off - until this moment. I feel we should be running towards each other with open arms in a field of daisies. 3-7s (or 7-3s) meet for the first time. Or is that too much? :]