Some thoughts seven years in...

[Just Mandy]

So... it's been 6 years since I last posted. Wow time flies!

I started my journey in 2007 and posted a lot here that first year. It was a wild ride as I went through a second puberty as my HRT kicked in. HRT also brought out a lot of repressed feelings and for a while there I was a total mess. Emotional does not even begin to describe how I was at times that first year. One of the reasons I quit posting here was my inability to control those emotions and I felt like I was always saying the wrong things at the wrong times. Looking back though my posts I was clearly out of control at times and not a good friend to anyone. But I feel so very fortunate that Susan's was there for me when I really needed everyone. For that I say a heartfelt thanks! I really do miss you all! 

I don't need the support I needed back then for sure. I've been there and done that and I'm happy, healthy and a woman now. I remember when other long time posters would leave Susan's and they would say things like "I don't relate to a lot of the questions". And it's true, you get to a point where you are transitioned and you think of yourself as a woman and the male you once were seems like an old friend but certainly not you. You can't remember what your male body looked like or how your voice sounded. And you can't relate to posts about starting your transition. My thoughts are never "do I pass" or "will my boobs grow" but do I really need yet another pair of heels?  I'm more than thrilled with my results and I'm thankful that everything is so much better than I dreamed it could be. The same can happen for you, it really can.

So for those of you just starting, just keep the faith that everything will work out. Yes, it will be scary, and emotional and you will have doubts every day but that is totally normal. The best thing that happened to me was when I realized that my time on this earth is limited and I could not live one more day trapped in a life that was not mine, trapped by other peoples thoughts of how I should live, trapped by society's opinion's on gender. I had to silence that inner voice that was holding me back and have the courage to push forward and to follow my heart. There are no guarantees in life but you will be happy if you are true to yourself.

Love you all!

(Always) Amanda

[mrs izzy]

Welcome back Amanda

This is a great post for any newbie or one starting out.

Very true and she is to the honest point.

Isabell

[Rachel]

It is great to get your perspective. I hope my future is as bright and welcome back.

[Lady_Oracle]

Awesome post! Nice to meet you Mandy!

[Bols]

Thank you Amanda.
Much love, Bols

[Jessica Merriman]

I am glad you are doing well! Welcome back.

[MelanieH74]

Welcome Back!!

Thanks for sharing. Your inspirational for newbs like me.
Glad to know things have turned out so well for you.

[AnnaCannibal]

What a pleasant post to wake up to.  It really puts me in a good mood.  Now I need some coffee! 

[HelloKitty]

Hi Amanda! Nice to meet you.
Although I may only be early-mid transition because of being on hrt for just 9 months now, I feel the same as you.

I'm a woman and can't remember what my male life was like already. Still need srs next year but other than that, I already feel post transition. So it can be hard for me to relate to some newbies to regarding a few things.

I come here out of boredom and curiousity to see what this journey is like for others in comparison to myself.

I have never needed any support and never will. It's just so easy and natural, living as my authentic female self. It's almost like nothing has changed. I'm just the same girl I always was since birth (female brain!) it's just that the outside matches now and is improving and people treat me properly now. Which is the same treatment people give any woman.

[Eva Marie]

Hey I remember you!  My screen name was riven1 back when you were last active. I thought I was an androgyne/bigender but as you can see by my avatar things have changed just a bit   

I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you. And yes, of course you need another pair of heels! 

~Eva

[stephaniec]

thanks for the post . hope you stick around and share some knowledge.

[Ltl89]

Thank you for the uplifting and encouraging post.  I'm glad things are working out for you.

[Just Mandy]

Thanks for all the well wishes! I'll try to stop by more often.

Hey I remember you!  My screen name was riven1 back when you were last active. I thought I was an androgyne/bigender but as you can see by my avatar things have changed just a bit 

I remember you too riven1  Congrats!

[Kaydee]

Mandy, thanks for stopping by.  Stories like yours are really inspirational for those of us just starting out!

[Allyda]

Hi Mandy, nice to meet you and hear your story. It's very inspirational and uplifting also no doubt will be very valuable to those just starting out on this long wonderful and sometimes very painful journey.

Hi Amanda! Nice to meet you.
Although I may only be early-mid transition because of being on hrt for just 9 months now, I feel the same as you.

I'm a woman and can't remember what my male life was like already. Still need srs next year but other than that, I already feel post transition. So it can be hard for me to relate to some newbies to regarding a few things.

I come here out of boredom and curiousity to see what this journey is like for others in comparison to myself.

I have never needed any support and never will. It's just so easy and natural, living as my authentic female self. It's almost like nothing has changed. I'm just the same girl I always was since birth (female brain!) it's just that the outside matches now and is improving and people treat me properly now. Which is the same treatment people give any woman.

I feel a lot like you do now. For the most part I'm a woman now and I'm treated just like one of the girls by everyone around me and those I meet. Though I only started my full transition a little over 6 months ago, I've been full time for a little over 5 years now so I truly began this back then. I live in a rural area and just had a hard time finding the right Doctors to kickstart my transition into high gear with hrt, and this coming December SRS, then prolly VFS, and just a little FFS if needed after I make my move back home to Cali.

I say the above with only one, well, maybe two exceptions: I did need support in the beginning stages of my full transition and those ladies on this site who were there for me in the beginning I owe a debt I can never repay. Those ladies and even a few gents (y'all know who you are) gave me my life back and helped me turn things around 180 degrees to the happy place and wonderful feeling of femininity and womanhood I have today. Also, what little male persona I had that I'd invented over the years (I say invented because in reality, I've been a girl since my first memory) seems like a distant memory, or a forgotten uncle is no longer with me. I come to Susan's because this site and it's members have become my online family. Some of which I've met in person already, or will meet up with in the future. This site and the people on it of all genders here have given me something I've never had, a family. So I come here to pay it forward, and to hopefully, have a little fun along the way. Yes, I'll prolly make a few mistakes along the way but I hope the good I bring to this site far outweighs the not so good, and I can be there for someone when they need me to the way in my early days someone was there for me.

I only mention the above to share my early experiences in the beginning of my transition.

Mandy again I really loved hearing about your journey and the wonderful woman you are, and hope to be hearing more from you from time to time in the future.

Hugs to all

Ally