Sexuality confusion

[FairyHime]

So this is something I've been wondering about. It's a bit personal and PG 13, so be warned I guess?

All this time I've been dating women, but now that I finally have the freedom to begin my transition, something that constantly has me ... um ... excited ... is the idea of being with a guy. Then again, I'm not sure if that's just because I was always jealous of the female puberty experience (including school crushes and the like) and want it myself, or if it's because I genuinely would find men attractive.
Now, when I came out to people, a lot of them couldn't help but think about the sex issue. Like, they didn't care about me being female, they just wondered if I'd date men or women. And I didn't know what to say, because I don't know. Part of me feels like I could go either way, even though so far in life I haven't considered being with a guy.

Did anyone face/is facing similar confusion about this? Like, does your attitude towards dating a certain sex change as you transition? Do you just wing it?

[Nicole]

Some will say no it doesn't, others will say yes it does, some will even say they're now bi.

For me, I when I started on blockers I was 100% into females, there was no way in hell I would ever have seen myself with a male. I looked at the naked male body as something thrown together with spare parts after the work of art that is the female body was made.
a bit into blockers (I was young and living full time by then), then in to HRT that started to change.
I now when I look back on it I was repressing the gay male because I didn't see myself as a male and although I thought about it, wanted it and dreamed of it, I just couldn't picture myself with a correct female body.

As I started to go out more with my new female friends I was about 6 to 12 months into my HRT, I really started to change the way I look at guys, it was almost a 100% swing to the right. Guys were hot, females were still hot/ok, but man a male body made me weak at the knees. I was more at ease because they saw me as female & I saw myself as female.
Over time this swing came more back towards the middle, so much so that around 2 years after my SRS I was dating a female for about 6 months.

I also have to say I know a few female @ births that have changed, I know a few trans people that haven't changed and a few people that say "anything that moves & if it doesn't, they'll push it".

[mrs izzy]

Attraction to a sex is a personal experience.

Many mtf stay attracted to females but hold the one chance to be with a man just for the experience.

Nothing wrong with that.

Me its funny I have stayed hetro in most part. I married in the community to a FTM.

Orientation can change if its something you want. No rules need apply.

Izzy

[Umiko]

i'm up the same creek as you are. i dont know whether i like men or women but i do know i'm not asexual. some call me bi but thats not correct at all. i'd say just go for what you feel stronger about and take it from there

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Im one of those people whom hrt turned more into lesbians...

now im not sure if its hrt,,,
i think we decide  our sexuality , hrt only  made me able to think clearer

I could still try a guy for sex , but no I just cant feel any emotional connection with them,,,

[FairyHime]

It's really interesting to see how different things can turn out, thanks for the responses! Should definitely help in addressing the awkward questions from family members who seem to worry more about this than I do @_@

[Cindy]

I went from liking women and having some Gay experiences to total heterosexual.

I like guys.

[suzifrommd]

Did anyone face/is facing similar confusion about this? Like, does your attitude towards dating a certain sex change as you transition? Do you just wing it?

When I was a straight guy, the idea of a sexual encounter with another man was totally gross.

As I started to allow myself to think of myself as a female, that kind of changed. The thought of receiving pleasure from a man's touch started to seem attractive.

That being said, I haven't actually ever met a man I'm attracted to. I'm not really attracted to too many women, either. For me attraction comes from attachment - I need to get to know someone.

I envy straight transwomen. Not being attracted to men means I miss out on such a major part of mainstream womanhood.

[PoeticHeart]

I have always liked men. Ugh don't even get me started

With that, I've always been attracted to some girls as well, so I've always been a bit bi in that respect. I haven't gone onto HRT yet, so I'm not sure how that will effect things for me.

[Autumn Faith]

   I believe.... each person is unique unto themselves.  I don't believe there is a hard line anywhere.  At a very young child's age, I knew I was different. I knew I liked boys as well as girls but was too innocent to know what it meant. As a older child, I  had the experience to be with both separately.  But by that time I realized it was a sexual no no in society.  So my teenage years were quite difficult.  As a older teen I quietly dated a man and girls my age area. Throughout my young adult life I struggled intensely with who I was and what I was.

   Back about 10 yrs ago I was ....well to put it nicely....  beaten with a barn board. Lol...A teenager on youtube  basically split the atoms in my mind on or why I was different.  I now realize I am not hetro... I am not gay.... I am a true bisexual person. Not one that dabbles in it for the odd situation.  If hetro is 60% of the world and Gay is 18% Lesbian I 7%... then true Bisexual is about 5%.  I cant imagine where  transgender bisexual fits in there lol lol. It becomes a unique world lol.

   So to explain your question friend. You need to find your own journey.  It will be a possible long one with lots of frustration.  But I assure you that in the end.... you will have inner peace.  My heart goes out to you as I have been in your place.

[LivingTheDream]

Suzi and I are sort of like twins I guess, its kinda eerie cause it seems we're pretty similar..

But the thought of being with a guy as a guy is just ewww, no thanks, for me.

The thought of being with a woman as a woman seems sort of wrong for me also, wrong in the way that I think something would be missing, the puzzle pieces wouldn't fit.

I can now, in a few years perhaps, see myself with a guy as long as I am a woman, idk, I could just be homophobic..

My mindset going forward is this: if the right person comes along, might as well take a chance and see what happens, who knows. So ya, guess I am keeping my options open.

[JohannaJohn]

For me, 3 and a half weeks on female hormones estradiol valerate and micronized progesterone but no anti-androgens, I still feel strongly attracted to the breasts of genetic girls including my current genetic girlfriend.  She is 32B size, and now I want that size for myself, too!  For me it would be 38A or 38B, if I am able to get that growth.  Also now, I feel definitely stronger attraction to males but I haven't acted on that recently in the real world.  I had 4 or 5 occasions with a male at age 16, so that was a long time ago.  I basically hid my female side from age 20 to age 53.  For about the last 4 months since I started painting my toenails bright red nearly always, and sometimes with a little makeup even when in public as a male, I have more attraction to guys and it would definitely interest me to sexually satisfy a guy.  But, that would also depend on my current genetic girlfriend's feelings about that, because HER feelings are number one.

I already in just 3 and a half weeks have protruding nipples, and a small but definite mound develping between my nipples and my areolas.  I don't know if my breasts are truly bigger yet, but they appear to be rounder anyway.  Emotionally I feel so very calm, and I feel right.

I really appreciate much better I think, how genetic girls feel.

[awilliams1701]

I certainly have a scientific curiosity about that. However if HRT doesn't change my perception of penises, I'll never find out.

Attraction to a sex is a personal experience.

Many mtf stay attracted to females but hold the one chance to be with a man just for the experience.

Nothing wrong with that.

Me its funny I have stayed hetro in most part. I married in the community to a FTM.

Orientation can change if its something you want. No rules need apply.

Izzy

[HoneyStrums]

I'm I sometimes in a tornado with this one.

But that only if I think about the now, when I do the math that is my life, It all adds up nicely.

As far as fantasy went, I kind of seesawed from one to the other, in terms of partner. It was like I couldn't keep my head on its shoulders. An internal conflict of what I liked, and what society teaches I should like. I Kept holding myself back, because I Hadn't tried this or done that yet. But then my sexual attraction to woman died down to a not really interested, but wont put up that big of a fight if their persuasive enough. I realised that was what I liked, the feeling of someone being attracted to me.

So... I experimented with a few males and realised its a whole lot more enjoyable, I can dance the dance of flirting, there is so much chemistry. I Know what I'm doing. But I Sometimes think about sharing with a girl, that sends me for a loop. But then I Think back and oh, BEING a girl with a girl is manageable. And the idea of it is appealing. I Think about that and I Shift myself to bi.

I liked my male partners because Of my third legs lack of involvement.
I didn't like my female partners because of the fact it was involvement.

I slide a lot in terms of orientation. So Bi with shifting preference is what I am I guess Actually that being said, (Bi with shifting preference is what I am) makes me head a lot easier to understand.

[Nothing]

That being said, I haven't actually ever met a man I'm attracted to. I'm not really attracted to too many women, either. For me attraction comes from attachment - I need to get to know someone.

Strange first post, I know, but I just identified w/this so much that I was compelled to say so. It has to be the whole person, & making a connection, earning trust, etc. It doesn't matter terribly what the person's gender is. I wonder if this is unique, or common?

[suzifrommd]

Strange first post, I know, but I just identified w/this so much that I was compelled to say so. It has to be the whole person, & making a connection, earning trust, etc. It doesn't matter terribly what the person's gender is. I wonder if this is unique, or common?

I see people posting like that a lot here on Susan's.

In real life, much less. Seems like a lot of the people I meet want that lightning bolt right away or they're not interested.

BTW, welcome to Susan's. Coming to this site was one of the best decisions I ever made.

[Casey Jaidyn]

As for me just starting out and looking to transition F2M, i guess i haven't figured out which way i will go either. I'm leaning towards being w/ a F now, since it seemed like i failed miserably being w/ M all these years. Who knows what i will think or want when i actually start Hrt. It really is a crap shoot just go with what makes u feel good i would say.

[PurpleCrown]

Recognizable story. When I came out a few people also asked me if I liked boys or girls and I actually didn't have an answer to give them. The easiest answer I can give is that I'm bisexual. I lived as a "straight guy" most of my life. I had liked girls since I was little and questioned if I was gay, since I liked girly things and listened to music gay people liked. It didn't match my feelings since I was never interested in boys, but had fallen in love with girls.

Things changed when I hit puberty and sex got into the picture. I still had feelings for girls, but when thinking about having sex I would get frustrated about the fact that I could never experience it the way women do. I had my first guy crush when I was 14, which confused me as it came out of nowhere and I couldn't imagine doing anything with a guy as a guy. That just wasn't me.

I kept falling in love with girls and the feelings I had for him weren't as strong as those for my biggest female crushes. The problem was that while haven fallen in love with girls I wasn't that interested in having sex with them, but I was in having it with guys as a female myself. One night I had a very detailed dream about it and the next morning I realized that this was what felt right. At this point I had already accepted myself as a woman and was on the waiting list of the gender clinic. In my case I think self-acceptance has had more influence on it than hormones.

The problem I have is that, even though I have fallen in love with women, I'm not interested in anything under the belt. At the same time I feel sexually attracted to men, but haven't had feelings for them that were as strong as those I have felt for some females. Things would get easier if I would fall in love now that I accept myself as a female, but I haven't had feelings for anyone ever since.

I would like for me and the right guy to fall in love with each other, but won't exclude the possibility to end up with a girl or someone that's gender queer. So I think I'm pan, even though my preference is that of a straight girl?

[Hikari]

I envy straight transwomen. Not being attracted to men means I miss out on such a major part of mainstream womanhood.

I can totally relate to this, and not to mention, but there are many more guys out there who want to be with a woman, than women who want to be with another woman.

I have to admit disappointment that HRT didn't "broaden" my sexual orientation horizons, but whatever there is nothing wrong with being a homosexual woman, I am not about to be with someone I am not attracted to just so that I can experience what others who I am not like do. That wouldn't be fair to me or the guy.