Hi all. I've been a long time lurker on the site, and I thought it was time I joined the conversation.
I'm a single MTF just starting my transition in Adelaide, Australia.
I've been on the 'mons since March this year, and therapy since Oct? 2013. (I wrote all the dates down because I always forget)
I'm out to all my family and friends, and am publicly Fem to Androgynous. But at work I'm still 'him'. *ew*
I recently decided that it was time to start updating all my official details to my true identity.
This also coincided with me letting my work management know what I was going through. A massively nerving step, but now I feel so relieved.
The thing I wanted to write about was my choice of name...
I never gave much credence to names. They were just a tag by which you were referred. They changed depending on where and who you were with, especially when it came to online identities. It probably didn't help that I also hated both my first and last names (I kinda like my old Middle Name). I just never felt like the label 'attached' to me very well.
So when I wrote my letter to my Therapist, I choose myself a 'transition' name. Something I thought better represented me. I talked with my two partners about naming and it was more like picking names from a box than finding 'my' name. I also only changed my first name. Since then I've been referred to by friends, family and medical council by this 'transition' name.
A lot of self discovery has occurred in the last year. That person that I knew I was, I had buried so deep that she was just a shimmer of hope in a very dark world. Now I'm getting to know her a lot better and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm starting to feel that it's time to let her out of the box all the time. But I don't even know her name?
I've thought about it a lot and I've found a tag I'm happy to sign as my own. Something that better represents me.
However, now I feel it appears I've jumped around... been all wishy-washy... whimsical even!
Additionally I want to change my last name. I don't mean any offence to my family, but its got to go.
(PS. I realise this is a weird post without actual names. But I think you see the why for the omission)
