How to respond to negative feedback

[Emily1996]

Those are just some of the comments I hear from people and read when wondering on the internet or youtube D: I just copied them and past them, I was thinking about making a youtube channel, but I don't think I can stand against hate like this... What do you respond to people hating on you because you are trans?

What would you respond to this comments?

"If you were born a man, you'll die a man. Mutilating your genitals doesn't change your sex. Taking a penis, slit it open, turn it inside out, stuff it in the abdomen and then construct a fake labia out of some foreskin leftovers. Mutilation: To injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts. I find that the act i described does pretty much that. If this process really helps someone lead better life, it's great! Still a mutilation though."

Sometimes I just understand why people need to spread mean comments like this, what would you respond to a femminist that feels like transwomen shouldn't be part of the feminist movemente because we were born in the worng body?

Sometimes i just wish they could change their mind but it's so hard

[Roni]

I think the sooner you accept that this entire planet is made up of thousands of differing world views, the sooner you will be able to come to terms with opinions like you have pasted. There are numerous religions, political views, ideologies that you literally can NEVER get people to think 100% like you. Accept that people are entitled to their opinions, and you are entitled to yours. Their opinions don't make you less of a woman, and you know that. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, why should other people matter?

[Ms Grace]

Sadly you need a very thick skin if you are trans, even thicker if you want to start a YouTube channel!

[Sammy]

You respond by ignoring those people. There are too many of them and they dont want to learn, they just hate or troll, or whatever. If You start arguing with them... "If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you". The good news are - most probably You are never ever gonna get to meet them in Your real life, so... who cares about their "worthy" opinion?

[Wednesday]

You respond by ignoring those people. There are too many of them and they dont want to learn, they just hate or troll, or whatever. If You start arguing with them... "If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you". The good news are - most probably You are never ever gonna get them in Your real life, so... who cares about their "worthy" opinion?

Absolutely this.

They just don't deserve anymore than being coldly ignored.

"El mejor desprecio es no dar aprecio"

[Valleyrie]

I see these sort of comments almost everyday on the internet. A lot of them are just trolls looking for a reaction but I don't doubt that many of these trolls actually hold these beliefs. Many are unwilling and too ignorant to understand things on a more deeper level. They are blinded by ignorance and really it's their own problem. I would never take anything said by a weak-minded person into consideration at all. It's like they think they've come up with some revelation or argument that is indeed fact. Would I respond? Depends on my mood. How? I'd take a calm and open approach to the situation and try to educate them about it more. If they keep being ignorant or I can tell they're trolling then I'd just move on.

These kind of people are brought up with stupid ideals and if they choose to live a life full of ignorance then so be it. The best you can do is try understand why they think that way and know that they have no basis to what they say and only see things one way. A lot of these idiots are followers and are too afraid to be anything else. As to the feminist thing, you'll find closed-minded people across all branches of life and I wouldn't be surprised if some of these individuals are only interested in gaining rights for their own benefits. Everyone should have the same rights, no matter who or what you are. Personally, I don't like to categorize myself or put myself in certain groups. I advocate for equality for all humans and if someone can't accept someone for being who they are then simply put - f*** them. Don't be afraid to be yourself or make a Youtube channel, let these people show just how pathetic they are. Their opinions mean nothing when it's driven purely by ignorance and fear.

edit: Oh, one more thing. Just by reading the first line of that quote you can see the ignorance already being displayed. This person obviously doesn't know the difference between sex, gender and ones personal preference. They then proceed to go into detail about "mutilating your genitals" to evoke some sort of anger from the person reading it and tries to finish it off to seem as though they care or have any sympathy. Decent troll bait. Identify and ignore the trolls; educate those that are actually open and willing to learn.

It disgusts me how degrading people can be and think they have a right to call someone fake or not. Again; they only see what's on the outside. If a cis born female can't have a child then are they less of a woman yet alone a person? No. If a man has his genitals cut off for whatever reason are they any less a man or a person? Certainly not. If someone is born with missing limbs then is it their fault or does that make them less of a human? Hell no. I could go on forever but I'd rather not.

All that aside, I hope you don't let these comments get to you and that you're able to start a Youtube channel if you still wish to do so (you can delete comments on your videos btw). I'm sure you're a strong and beautiful person. Let those colours show! Good luck!

[Eva Marie]

A person that makes a post like that is coming from a cisgender perspective. What cisgender person would ever want to have SRS? They see it as stupid and pandering to the desires of some mentally confused people, hence the use of the word mutilation.

They haven't walked in our shoes. They don't understand, and probably are incapable of understanding. You'll probably never reach a person like that.

Then there are the religious bigots that think their way is the only way, and everyone should live as they do. This is another group that's impossible to reach.

The way I see it these people are generally older and as they die off these attitudes will change. I have found that kids are far more accepting of me than the older generation is. A new day is coming.

What the YouTube channels are doing is helping people that have an understanding attitude understand us. You make change where it will take root, and then you watch it spread.

Ditto the thick skin comments.

[Sammy]

There is a curious tendency in YT comments btw. It used to be that there was one troll who posted his transphobic statement and he was soon joined by others (or maybe that was the same person under another account - there are people on YT who clearly make their living by posting anti-trans comments there...). Now, there is another group of people - cisgenders quite often - who do openly oppose them, criticise and try to teach them. Most probably, those are people who have met "a living transgender person" in their lives and know that we are human beings just like themselves - not abominations, subhumans, mutants or second-class people.
As for that undying statement "born a man-die a man" (seen it countless times on YT...) - nobody is born a man. People are born as babies - boys or girls, or intersex or trans, whatever. And, btw, there are many cisgender MAAB who never grow up and mature to be considered men. Having a d*ck + bravado attitude =/ real man. Chimps can do that too (and are much nicer, btw).

[sad panda]

In a way I kind of agree with these people... I mean they're trolling but... in a way? for whatever reason, genetics, socialization or whatever, to me it is painfully obvious that most, not all but... most... trans girls will always be very different than most cis girls. You can't slice your brain open and put it back. You can change the outside but not the inside. If the inside is kinda inbetween, society's problem becomes your problem because society won't ever admit it has a problem and won't ever issue an apology. :/

I think if society were different, people wouldn't feel like they had to transition to be themselves... or at least not as much.

[Sammy]

In a way I kind of agree with these people... I mean they're trolling but... in a way? for whatever reason, genetics, socialization or whatever, to me it is painfully obvious that most, not all but... most... trans girls will always be very different than most cis girls.

But they would be still different than most dudes too, wouldnt they? And mental difference is not the point they are making - they are still mostly about genitals.

[Jill F]

Rule #1- don't read the comments.
Rule #2- DON'T READ THE COMMENTS!

These people are far too often the dregs of humanity, and their opinions don't matter to anyone with a functioning brain.  Some are trolls just looking to press your buttons, some are batsh*t crazy, some are just losers who have nothing better to do because their mommies won't finally kick them out of the basement.  Not exactly a representative sample of public opinion here... 

[Codia]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, some are just bias.  You shouldn't let other peoples opinions get to you.  Mutilation or modification?  Tattoos and piercings could be defined as mutilation depending on ones perspective. I'm still littered with them.  How would I respond?  If you don't like the picture change the channel.  If modifying my being to live a more comfortable life mentally & physically is wrong I don't want to be right

[sad panda]

But they would be still different than most dudes too, wouldnt they? And mental difference is not the point they are making - they are still mostly about genitals.

Well, yah, but they are saying those people retain some kind of maleness no matter what they do. Genitals--brain--body--soul, just plain chromosomes and internal organs. Whatever. I don't even know. But in a way I think it's true. A trans girl can never be a cis girl. But I also agree that they are focusing on it so much only b/c they're stupidly phobic about the idea of being attracted to someone they're labeling as a man. I guess I just wish transition didn't have to exist and everyone felt ok with their birth sex.

[mrs izzy]

You never respond to anything that will drag you to there level.

Its not a fight we must win.

We are real humans same as them. Nothing more, nothing less.

Better to walk away.
Isabell

[Foxglove]

What would you respond to this comments?

"If you were born a man, you'll die a man. Mutilating your genitals doesn't change your sex. Taking a penis, slit it open, turn it inside out, stuff it in the abdomen and then construct a fake labia out of some foreskin leftovers. Mutilation: To injure, disfigure, or make imperfect by removing or irreparably damaging parts. I find that the act i described does pretty much that. If this process really helps someone lead better life, it's great! Still a mutilation though."

Emily, I don't think there's any point in responding to stuff like this.  There are certain guys I call "reptiles" because they're thoroughly heartless and cold-blooded.  Or sometimes I call them "tin woodmen" because they have no heart.

When they say stuff like this, they're actually quite pleased with themselves.  They might even think it's funny.  They don't care how they hurt people.  There's something wrong with people like them.  There's something missing from them, and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

Recently on another forum a discussion came up about Political Correctness, about not using racial slurs, etc.  There were some guys actually defending the use of them, saying that people shouldn't be so sensitive.  Eventually it became obvious (to me at least) that the real reason these guys defend the use of such slurs is that they actually enjoy it.  They're still at the little-child, name-calling stage.

There's nothing you can do about people like that.  But you can be sure that decent types will be aware how nasty such guys are.  Another reason not to respond to them: let them say what they like, let other people see how bad they are.  They're undermining themselves, not us.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

It's best to tune out people like that.  They just aren't worth acknowledging.