Quote from: mark s on July 20, 2014, 04:04:06 PM
I know it's strange that I tell all this to strangers, but my friends just wouldn't get it (they don't know she is transgender). They would have said that she will be too much of a hassle (ironically they never had girlfriends and just pretty much just fooled around with girls). A good girl friend of mine (who I knew since grade school) might understand me and what is happening, but as I don't want to out her I just told her basic stuff (and left out stuff that could potentially out her). I haven't told anyone that she is transgender (not even my mom who is very accepting and nice to everyone) as when I looked for information about transgenders I read that is insensitive to cruel to out transgenders.
Sometimes it's best to tell strangers, because strangers - especially ones who are going through the same thing - can offer unbiased, objective opinions. But don't listen to *anyone* who tells you your girl's a hassle, because no one but *you* can say how you feel about things. What they see as a hassle might be effortless for you. And it sounds like loving your gf *is* effortless for you.
In fact, I don't think your friends need ever know who she used to be. It's not fair to dredge up a person's history after they've changed - for anyone, not just transgenders. When I introduce myself to someone, I don't say, "Hi, I'm Kitty. I used to have acne as a kid, but now I don't".
But as for the distance thing, I know that all too well. I lived miles and miles from my soulmate for years, and seeing each other sporadically was so difficult. But that's how we knew we had something special: rather than break us up, the time apart only made us long for each other more. And now we're living together, life is fantastic (yes, even though she's come out as trans).
And wow. You seem really caring and understanding in regards to your gf's situation. Keep taking things at her pace and don't push anything she's uncomfortable with, and just see how things go from there. Maybe in time she will learn not to hate some aspects of herself - that her body is capable of making her feel incredible - or maybe she will never fully be happy until she has surgery. Either way, by the sounds of it you have a spiritual connection that will withstand the wait. And I'm a firm believer that the longer you spend talking to a potential partner rather than just jumping into bed with them, the more chance of success the relationship has. If you "click" and resonate on an emotional level, and can make each other laugh or talk, you'll have many happy years together with great sex on top.
