Hello, Ashley, here's some quick commentary:
Quote from: AshleyJordan on July 16, 2014, 03:26:49 AM
Hello all, first off I've had feelings for a while that I might be transgender for about 6 months, although I go back and forth on whether or not I am transgender, some days I feel like I am a girl 100% and want to make it happen and other days I just feel like I'm a normal guy some reasons I think I am trans are:
I want to be able to enjoy the things that women get to do and wear - not necessarily a gender identity thing... guys can do feminine things too. The real question is whether you'd be happy as a male if you could do feminine things, or if you want to be a woman doing feminine things.
I'm really uncomfortable in my body - that DEFINITELY points to being trans (depending on reason, of course... if you're uncomfortable with it because of its masculine features, and the ideal self you want to see in the mirror is a woman, then that's definitely a strong sign. If you're just uncomfortable with various features, but could picture being happy seeing a male in the mirror, maybe not.)
I'm an awkward person and it might explain a bit of it - possibly, but that's more indicative of a self-esteem issue, which might or might not have anything to do with dysphoria
I find women attractive and want to be them a lot - depends on the context, depends on exactly what about them you're envying and why. If you dream of being attractive like them, that doesn't necessarily say much, maybe you just want to do drag or something so that you can be pretty for a while too, where if you're envious of their smooth skin and shape and whatnot because you don't like your own, that is REALLY likely to be gender dysphoria.
and a couple reasons why i think i might not be is:
I enjoy the convienience of my current genitals - not all trans women want or need SRS, and "convenience" doesn't necessarily say anything about whether you actually like them or not
I'm scared of losing family and friends - that's social fear, which EVERYONE has, but ultimately it has nothing to do with what your gender identity is
I'm worried I might turn out a freak because something goes wrong - so was I
I don't want to be bullied more than i already am - neither did I
I might turn out to be wrong later in life and regret my decision - I was afraid of that too... but I was way more afraid that I was going to end up unfixably masculine which would make transition impossible if I didn't at least try... not sure what you think of that. It might be a thought experiment to try out
and the fact that I might just be going through a faze in life and not know at all - again, look into your motives a bit. When did this start? How did you feel about going through a male puberty? Are you really wanting to be a woman, going through everyday boring human-y stuff as a woman, or are you just looking at the attractiveness bit? Are you uncomfortable having a male body and being perceived as male socially? Again, these are all thought experiments to think about to examine your motives more.
Okay, so that's my comments. I'm not a gender therapist, I'm just speaking from my own perspective. Because I too had SERIOUS doubts about the family/social aspect of it. I was afraid of them looking at me and seeing boobs. I was afraid of being judged with disapproving glances. Something about other people seeing me as a girl just didn't feel real to me. It was only by eliminating those variables, by saying "If I lived on a deserted island where nothing that I do would ever be seen by anyone, where I never had to worry about a single person judging me, what would I do?" Where I realized that my fears weren't really about my actual gender identity, they were just about social expectations.
The first step is always talking to a gender therapist, especially if you're not sure. Don't be afraid of it. They exist for the purpose of bouncing these ideas back and forth with you so that you can figure this out.
Here is the official requirements for a diagnosis according to the APA's diagnostic manual. If you fit some of these criteria, then you might want to look into it.
"Gender dysphoria: "A marked incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender, and assigned gender... of at least 6 months duration, and manifested by 2 or more of the following indicators:"
1. Incongruence between one's experienced/expressed gender, and one's actual primary/secondary sexual characteristics. (We call this "body dysphoria.")
2. A strong desire to be rid of one's primary/secondary sexual characteristics due to this incongruence. (Or in young adolescents a desire to prevent the development of anticipated secondary sexual characteristics.)
3. A strong desire for the primary/secondary sexual characteristics of the other gender.
4. A strong desire to be the other gender. (Or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender.)
5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender. (Or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender.)
6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender. (Or some alternative gender different from one's assigned gender.)"
