How to tell whether hormones are "right"

[luna nyan]

That's what I'm afraid of.  It's started to happen already, and I find myself now thinking, "Oh good, the dysphoria has gone away.  Maybe that means I'm not trans after all and it was just a phase, and oh my god what on earth am I doing transitioning when I'm not even trans...I must be making the worst mistake of my life..."

Nup.  It ain't going away.  Anne Vitale has anecdotal retrospective information on E reducing GID, and subsequent return on cessation.  It's not strong evidence given the nature of the report.

My personal experience in trying to fix it mentally - it'd go for a while then come back big time.  Low dose has worked out well for me.  I'm not stopping it as it's keeping me relatively sane.

[EchelonHunt]

It took me four years on testosterone to realize my discomfort I had in my increased body hair and my deepened voice. Aside from these, all other effects of hormones I've been quite happily content with - the biggest moment for me was that I realized I had became comfortable in my own skin, I don't know when this happened, I assume it happened gradually over the period of four years. It's amazing.

Pre-T, I had very crazy mood swings and suicidal tendencies that couldn't be controlled by different combinations of anti-depressants or countless therapy. On T, I have settled down completely and at peace with myself - it was proof that I needed hormones to level everything out in terms of psychological well-being and sense of self.

Not just for myself but for my family as well, since my pre-T behavior caused a lot of tension and arguments. Now, there's just laughter and all-round calm. 

[Stochastic]

Quick update - today was a good day.  Feeling 100% great, almost euphoric this morning, my skin kinda tingles a little, occasional waves of sheer pleasure for no reason whatsoever. 

Without incriminating myself, it feels a little like the rush of an illicit chemical.  If I knew what that was, I mean, because, er, I've never done anything like that before.

Yea! I remember when your avatar had a frown, and I felt so bad for you. Glad you are feeling better.

That's what I'm afraid of.  It's started to happen already, and I find myself now thinking, "Oh good, the dysphoria has gone away.  Maybe that means I'm not trans after all and it was just a phase, and oh my god what on earth am I doing transitioning when I'm not even trans...I must be making the worst mistake of my life..."

I have always wondered what it would be like if I stopped. I know the dangers of stopping and would never do this. In the end, there is no point in testing something we already know the answer to.

It is interesting how individuals react differently. While there are quite obvious physical changes for the short time I have been on HRT, changes in my emotional state is subtle such as that described by suzifrommd. My loss of crippling dysphoria such chest tightness, headaches, and sleeplessness does not equate to an euphoric high or a heightened emotional sense. Without question, I am very pleased with where I am today. It could be possible that much of this is tempered expectations because I am not planning to transition anytime soon.

[Carrie Liz]

I had to stop hormones for a week or so after being on them for a month, and it was NOT fun. Felt brain-dead again... felt unfeminine, and it drove me up the wall.

When I finally got my next shipment in, it was seriously like "Oh thank you sweet Lord, I can FEEL again! I'm never going off of you again, sweet sweet hormones!"

[Lady_Oracle]

It's amazing how finally getting the right hormone in our bodies makes such a huge difference

[YinYanga]

3 Months of HRT for me

The first two months there were the subtle changes:
~change of smell (my own and for example smelling the air around you while cycling in the park)
~Soften skin
~Breast development and increased sensitivity
~Sense of calm, ease

Since a month or so I really started feeling energetic and alive, something I always lacked. I feel like my own motivation and get out of bed to make something of the day .
Daily mundane things I now do without much thought to it and I enjoy planning and doing things that were out of my comfy zone.
Bad days are now less bad because I seem to deal with adversary much better now.

Some of this is due HRT and other things get better because I'm starting to feel happier with my body

It's not all rosey though;
I'm having trouble sleeping and can't get a good 8 hours like I used to...my sleep is scattered and sweaty. Endo told me it's probably nothing serious but I need to watch it
My libido is very low, nothing seems to excite me: looking at girls/guys doesnt get me interested, fantasizing is hard and watching/reading erotica is like watching the news. It's mainly a worry for the future: "Will I get some sex drive back?"  I guess I now understand what asexual people feel somewhat.

All in all I think I made the right choice, it feels good and I am open to life

Vivien

[KayXo]

Sometimes when sleep is less and there are night sweats, it could be lack of T and not taking enough E to compensate for that. Same thing for libido but libido would be expected to change and drop somewhat in intensity due to less T. I sometimes hear of these symptoms from girls who take androcur (cyproterone acetate), for instance.

Just my 2 cents but your endo has the last word and is the expert. If this persists, then perhaps discuss this with him again in the future. I'm glad everything else is going so well for you.

p.s.: progesterone helped me to sleep better. Tends to do that in many other girls too.

[YinYanga]

Thank you Kay ^^

It's very possible that that's why I feel so awful at night and barely any libido left . I went to the endo yesterday but it was my first evaluation and he could only measure my physical changes and heartbeat. Ill get the review about the hormone levels of my yesterday visit in 3 months so it's a bit like you're looking into your past if you understand what I mean

[KayXo]

Yea. Personally, if I felt both these symptoms and they persisted for at least a week, I would talk to my doctor and ask for something to be done ASAP. I wouldn't wait...

[YinYanga]

Well I take Anti-Androgen(Cypro) tablets and Estradiol patches . It probably doesnt tell enough

Just curious, does placement of the patches play a role? (I put them on the sides of my hips/bum usually)

Note: I did have a huge deficiency in Vitamin D before I started, something he said was pretty common with people with social anxiety and dont get much sun. He prescribed me pills for it but said I could go sun bathing if I preferrred that. Choice 2 it is, going out in a bit with some shades and sunscreen ^^

[KayXo]

I read that bum gave slightly better levels BUT you should always ask doctor first and be sure they agree with placement.

I, too, recently was tested and it was shown that my Vitamin D levels were very low. I'm now taking some supplements AND sunbathing here and there just cause I like how I look when I'm tanned. But, with the estrogen in my system, the tan seems to last much longer AND I get lots of freckles mostly around the nose, under eye area. Apparently, estrogen increases skin pigmentation. I like it. No complaints so far.

[YinYanga]

*high five*

Lets do an E-Sunbath together , wee

My skin actually lost pigmentation ( I have some natural tan) over the course of the years, so I felt somewhat 'ghastly', good indication what I felt was visible

[AnnaCannibal]

Its been just over a month for me and I'm just now noticing some very slight physical changes.  However there was one change near the start that was almost immediate.  That was a decrease in amount of ejaculation, but increase in distance traveled.  Is this bizarre?   I don't understand such an odd change, but could the Finasteride, which can shrink the prostate, be playing a part in this massive increase in ejaculatory distance?

[Brenda E]

However there was one change near the start that was almost immediate.  That was a decrease in amount of ejaculation, but increase in distance traveled.  Is this bizarre?

Too. Much. Information.  (I can never unthink the mental image I just had of how, precisely, you managed to find that out )

But yes, bizarre!  And your theory sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I had come back to report that I am still absolutely loving the general effects of low dose estrogen, but that kinda seems, well, a bit of a lame disclosure considering the vivid detail of the above!

[helen2010]

LOL.  My sides are so sore.  I needed a good laugh.   This has made my day!

Aisla

[AnnaCannibal]

Too. Much. Information.  (I can never unthink the mental image I just had of how, precisely, you managed to find that out )

But yes, bizarre!  And your theory sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I had come back to report that I am still absolutely loving the general effects of low dose estrogen, but that kinda seems, well, a bit of a lame disclosure considering the vivid detail of the above!

I thought it might be a bit much.  But one thing that sure hasn't changed with HRT is I still have no shame.  Good day!

[crystals]

its somewhat of a you just know answer
it feels right and good calm and nice or worse
i was on hrt for almost a year and i got a confirmation its the right move..of corse it caused the anxiety and stress of medical concerns tests and doctor appointments every month or two but beetween those times of anxiety i could take a shower hold what had become of my breasts and just smile side to side almost yelling "i love you two!" and now i can say i miss being on hormones again
made me so happy
you just see the signs every day
if it makes you sad and you see those good changes occuring in a bad way and they make you feel bad about yourself it might not be good for you
but if you see those changes and you want to explode out of happyness it might just be right for you

[Carrie Liz]

Its been just over a month for me and I'm just now noticing some very slight physical changes.  However there was one change near the start that was almost immediate.  That was a decrease in amount of ejaculation, but increase in distance traveled.  Is this bizarre?   I don't understand such an odd change, but could the Finasteride, which can shrink the prostate, be playing a part in this massive increase in ejaculatory distance?

Weird... I'm on Finasteride also, and I was already shooting blanks by the end of the first month. (And man, that felt good! I've always hated the stuff, and felt completely gross every single time it came out before.) Anyway, might just be an individual thing.

[JohannaJohn]

I found all effects of HRT very subtle.

For me, the most gendered effect was a gradual emotional shift into being comfortable with a nurturing and accepting stance. I no longer felt like I had to "react" to everything. I found myself judging things and people less and wanting to support them more.

This felt very much like I wanted myself to feel. If I'd been an alpha male, I doubt I would have tolerated this, for example.

I'm not sure I quite believe the stories of the person who declares "this is awful" in response to hormones. The effects are really muted.

Suzi. what a GREAT post...I have some feelings like this, too, and you expressed much of what I FEEL, so very well...

What a GREAT post you have made here...

[JohannaJohn]

slippery slope, for me yes. I am so glad I started HRT and I was afraid for so long. Now I can not remember why I was afraid. I wanted just spiro then spiro and low does E. Well I asked for (moment of truth) full hrt. I asked my therapist at the time if she thought I would come off hrt after I started. She said give it 4 months and she did not think I would come off hrt. 6 weeks in and I knew there was no going back.

You will know if it is right for you. Your brain will be receiving the correct hormones and it is wonderful. It takes a few days to start and then slowly you will notice things start to change. There is a long list of things that are improved such as:

Dysphoria
colors
no odor
can smell much better, especially guys
mental focus
confidence
physical things like joints
skin
hair
boobs
happy
being able to sleep

I was told progesterone would not do anything but increase my bust. Well that too had some great effects such  mood and happiness and reduced depression.

If it is not right for you then, I was told, negative effects increase.

Cynthia, marvelous post.

I am just 5 weeks in, nicely always protruding nipples, rounder and slightly bigger breast area, NO more body odor wow that happened in just THREE weeks...

A little softer skin on part of my face

No more acne on my face...

Hair on my head feels smoother...and strangely enough, I have lost my desire to get a haircut anytime soon...I was NOT expecting this mental change in just 5 weeks...WOW.

Best of all WOW do I feel great, and right...Progesterone is amazing...and the estrogen is great, too.

I want to keep taking E and P because they make me feel SO HAPPY AND delightful!!!!



Johanna