Hi all. I've visited this forum a lot over the past year or so, but not posted. I'm a student in a British uni, and came out about half a year ago. Everyone's been supportive, my friends have started using male pronouns recently at my request and I'm sure my parents will remember eventually.
The main problem is my body, basically. I wake up and am immediately down just because of my physical existence. It will be quite a long time before I can get anything done medically, and so I have whole days where I try to not let any part of my body touch any other part because I disgust myself so much. There is nothing I don't hate about it, and I spend hours crying sometimes because that seems like the only way to vent the anger that might otherwise result in me harming myself.
It's not always this bad, it's partly because it's summer and I have less social life (nothing distracts me like other people) but at the moment I'm just really struggling. My dysphoria is also exacerbated by the fact that I train in a martial art, meaning that there are constant references to physical differences between the sexes. Our sports centre has absolutely no option for changing except the two gender-specific ones, and I don't feel comfortable going into either (a certain British dislike of social awkwardness, that)
I'm not really looking for answers, just to vent a little as none of my friends are so close that I feel like this is something I could share. I'd also welcome any pointers if I've stuck this somewhere wrong, or need to add tags or whatever. Thanks
