Have you thought of a mix of long and short?
For example, I love wearing my hair long in the front and side-bangs and having it short at the back. Think scene or emo hairstyles.
My dysphoria is a funny little thing - it explodes through the roof when the hairdresser trims too much at the front and whenever it grows out too long at the back.
I cope very badly with hairdressers as it is, the entire experience is overwhelming because A) I dislike people being in my personal space and B) I have to trust the hairdresser to cut my hair properly.
The fact that you have run away from idea of walking to the salon and having your hair cut short is telling most of all.
Listen to your body and heart deep within - only you know what you truly want. Forget about everyone and everything else - don't give up on achieving who you are and more importantly, don't force yourself to be who you are not. Denial is a nasty beast and it will only be a matter of time before you will be back where you started.
It will take some time to figure out which hairstyle that you will be most comfortable with - as I've said before, wigs aren't a bad way to go about experimenting different styles of hair on yourself (it's how I figured out my current hairstyle that makes me happy overall) to see what you do or don't like.
