How does it feel to be pretty?

[Allyda]

Even though I have already commented, I'll say this... Being pretty is not what is on the outside, even though we worry allot about it. Over all beauty come from the inside. How confident we are and how we express ourselves to others. Not to mention being comfortable with ones self. It truly does shine when you are happy and full of life.

Best answer yet!

Allie

[peky]

Hello,

here is a question for our beautful ladies: How does it feel to be pretty?
I mean, changed prettiness or attractivity something in your live? Do you feel better or have more quality of living. Does it make som things in your day or generally easier? What about your body dysphoria - is it easier to handle if you are attractive?

Its only my interest. I cant imagine how people live who are pretty.

Regards
Galaxy

I am beautiful and I canno help, I was beautiful in my previous role, and now I am more beautiful
+++++
































































It is burden I alone have to bear !

[mandonlym]

Even though I have already commented, I'll say this... Being pretty is not what is on the outside, even though we worry allot about it. Over all beauty come from the inside. How confident we are and how we express ourselves to others. Not to mention being comfortable with ones self. It truly does shine when you are happy and full of life.

I'm trying to look for an article that made what I think is an excellent point related to this. There's something that I think is actually harmful by combining the idea of being conventionally attractive and being "pretty on the inside," rather than being specific and saying that someone has good qualities. By saying that these two things are the same, we equate what someone looks like externally to who she is internally. We automatically associate someone's inner, nonvisual qualities with someone's outer, aesthetic qualities.

I think it's useful and productive to separate how a person looks on the outside and who she is on the inside, and acknowledge the differences between those two things. Making the two one and the same actually makes it harder not to associate people's inner qualities with their outer qualities, which is a major social problem.

I think I'm a nicer, kinder person now than I was ten years ago, but I am also less conventionally attractive and that's totally okay. But I'm not going to say I'm "prettier" because of this, or that one has any direct relation to the other.

[antonia]

Physical beauty is relative, it all depends on who you are comparing against.

Someone who is used to working with supermodels will have a significantly different opinion on who is pretty and who isn't compared to a mathematician or an engineer.

There are also so many different types of beauty, some would say Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are beautiful, but If you compare them to women like Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman there is a stark difference, elegance, grace, confidence and not least intelligence, a beautiful mind is in my mind a prerequisite for a beautiful person.

If asking about physical attractiveness i think from a trans perspective the attractive girls get scrutinized a lot more and therefore have a harder time passing.
They also have to deal with groping, unwanted kisses (on the mouth even), not being able to walk the streets at night when it's dark, stalkers online and in real life, envy and shunning from cis-women and guys buying drinks which isn't as great as it sounds when they expect a conversation and more. Guys also constantly feel it's necessary to tell attractive girls that they are pretty and they loose all ability to have an intelligent conversation, anything a pretty girl says is automatically discarded as nonsense.

I'm not saying it's hard for them but it's not all roses and butterflies either, on the positive side it's easier to meet people, get a job, find a partner and get drinks at the bar.

[imissmymama]

Well every situation, personal circumstances, relationships etc are all different, Iv dated men in the past who didn't accept my history, but that's life, sometimes I disclosed, depends on the guy, some accept, some don't. My present fiancé I dated for 18 months, he had absolutely no idea, I only disclosed when he suggested we get engaged, he was a bit shocked, but accepted my situation, he never wants his family to know, that's understandable with the stereotypes thinking my husband's wife used to be a ''man''
We never discuss it, my husband and I don't see myself as trans, I'm just a woman with a history, it belongs in the past, we're now just a normal husband and wife. He looks at me the way any man looks at a woman, and treats me as a woman
There are normal straight men who do accept women like us, and women who accept men with a history too.

Wow, you waited 18 months to tell him? I am not judging, but that's really brave of you. I could never do this. My fiancé also treats me like a woman because that's how he sees me, but I told him right up front. I cannot afford to have my heart broken after so much investment. There are men who can accept trans women of course, but its still a deal breaker for 80 percent of men , i say.

[pretty pauline]

Wow, you waited 18 months to tell him? I am not judging, but that's really brave of you.

It wasn't brave, it was just the right thing to do at the time, the relationship was going so well, why fix something that wasn't broken, then when he came out with that marriage proposal and placed that diamond engagement ring on my finger, it was time to disclose.

but I told him right up front.

Well if I had of done that, he may have dumped the first night, we do what we think is right at the time, I just went with my gut feeling, he only ever knew me as a woman, whatever my history, I'm now completely all woman things did work out and we did eventually get married.

[StevieAK]

I didnt do this to be pretty as I know that is not possible for me but I did it to be happy and to make my body fit what my mind was telling me.  Being pretty in my mind is enough.

[Evelyn K]

Perception of ones "prettyness" is subjective (eh. like, really really subjective...) so no way to quantify it, except perhaps by sharing real life experiences where your presence has put people in obvious attraction states. Since I'm presenting andro...

-- Average looking women may smile and blush when you are speaking to them. For instance, I've seen this with food service counter girls. Some drop their eyes in deference. Some lose their train of thought. I recently saw one DD counter gal who I'm flirty with and who knows my medium sized iced caramel late order upside down. Was presenting the best version of me that day (2 weeks after laser). When I approached she 1st acknowledged me, but then seemed to become so confused, she asked twice what I wanted just to look at me and walking back and forth from the task, also if I wanted milk or not (duh?), and then what size? (hello? med you know me) and/or splenda? (no sugar and caramel regular!) The counter guy who was taking my transaction shook his head. Yeah she was confused. Or maybe star struck? Needless to say that was funny.

-- A married guy with an average looking wife who knew you as a guy and is straight as an arrow (yet doesn't know you are transitioning) may start to notice 'attractive' things. You'll catch him looking at you in your peripheral vision, then it builds up to the point where they're asking you silly technical help questions so they can have a moment to see you. Or it's the, "can I have one?" ahh the fresh slice of orange I'm holding between my manicured fingers while typing on the lappy with my other. You motion yes turning your pretty thumb and index fingers with the slice, still typing waiting and he bends down and slowly grabs it WITH HIS MOUTH. WTF? Dude, we don't do that with other "dudes!" o.O

-- Single girls at Starbucks who are like deer in headlights looking at you when waiting for orders. Girls who seem to linger around you at the condiments section pretending they are busy, spending a full minute to stir their already blended beverage Maybe I should open them in conversation... (and unfortunately for me, some guys are doing these things too).

-- Friend girls who in casual social encounters (and who "don't know" yet) starting to give you 'the gaze'.

[Auroramarianna]

Perception of ones "prettyness" is subjective (eh. like, really really subjective...) so no way to quantify it, except perhaps by sharing real life experiences where your presence has put people in obvious attraction states. Since I'm presenting andro...

-- Average looking women may smile and blush when you are speaking to them. For instance, I've seen this with food service counter girls. Some drop their eyes in deference. Some lose their train of thought. I recently saw one DD counter gal who I'm flirty with and who knows my medium sized iced caramel late order upside down. Was presenting the best version of me that day (2 weeks after laser). When I approached she 1st acknowledged me, but then seemed to become so confused, she asked twice what I wanted just to look at me and walking back and forth from the task, also if I wanted milk or not (duh?), and then what size? (hello? med you know me) and/or splenda? (no sugar and caramel regular!) The counter guy who was taking my transaction shook his head. Yeah she was confused. Or maybe star struck? Needless to say that was funny.

-- A married guy with an average looking wife who knew you as a guy and is straight as an arrow (yet doesn't know you are transitioning) may start to notice 'attractive' things. You'll catch him looking at you in your peripheral vision, then it builds up to the point where they're asking you silly technical help questions so they can have a moment to see you. Or it's the, "can I have one?" ahh the fresh slice of orange I'm holding between my manicured fingers while typing on the lappy with my other. You motion yes turning your pretty thumb and index fingers with the slice, still typing waiting and he bends down and slowly grabs it WITH HIS MOUTH. WTF? Dude, we don't do that with other "dudes!" o.O

-- Single girls at Starbucks who are like deer in headlights looking at you when waiting for orders. Girls who seem to linger around you at the condiments section pretending they are busy, spending a full minute to stir their already blended beverage Maybe I should open them in conversation... (and unfortunately for me, some guys are doing these things too).

-- Friend girls who in casual social encounters (and who "don't know" yet) starting to give you 'the gaze'.

That is great however, I didn't understand whether that had to do with you being pretty or you presenting in an androgynous way. These people are probably puzzled by your looks and find your androgyny attractive!

[Starla]

It's okay. I guess. I have to find ways not to lead men on because I don't want to have to tell them that I'm transsexual...

Sigh. It's a never ending battle. I feel your pain. Don't wanna get too attached to this guy or that guy etc etc.

[melanie maritz]

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. It's scary how true that is.

Just look at the some of the plastic surgery people get done that in my opinion is very extreme such as very very big lips and very very small noses. I would say some people have a messed up idea of what beauty is, but that doesn't make sense really because there will be people who think I have a messed up idea of what beauty is.

[Auroramarianna]

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. It's scary how true that is.

Just look at the some of the plastic surgery people get done that in my opinion is very extreme such as very very big lips and very very small noses. I would say some people have a messed up idea of what beauty is, but that doesn't make sense really because there will be people who think I have a messed up idea of what beauty is.

Yes, IKR! I totally agree with you! Personally, I think when people undergo too much plastic surgery, they'll look no better than before. I would personally prefer looking naturally ugly than artificially ugly. The look people achieve with surgery can be so weird. But it also depends on the surgery you get. FFS doesn't really mean anyone will look artificial, but lip injections and nose jobs can ruin all the looks altogether.

Anyway, sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so there's always someone you'll find you attractive, and another who doesn't

[Evienne]

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. It's scary how true that is.

Just look at the some of the plastic surgery people get done that in my opinion is very extreme such as very very big lips and very very small noses. I would say some people have a messed up idea of what beauty is, but that doesn't make sense really because there will be people who think I have a messed up idea of what beauty is.

I couldn't agree more. So many people get distracted about what's on the outside, and forget to look at who's in the inside. So many only care about looks, and who has the best body to have sex with, but they forget to see that those things aren't important. Those aren't what give true love. It's the inside of a person. Something that is only found when you take the time to get to know a person and get interested into them as a person, not as a body. That's where you find true beauty.

[Evelyn K]

That is great however, I didn't understand whether that had to do with you being pretty or you presenting in an androgynous way. These people are probably puzzled by your looks and find your androgyny attractive!

Good point. I typically wear jeans and a slim fit button up mens shirt. My hair is swept around to one side (too hot around the neck in summer) slightly tucked into the collar. 4 months of HRT is definitely showing through. I'd confidently say I'm borderline passing without wearing makeup or fem accessories and attire. A collarless unisex style top is enough to start getting me misgendered.

[Evelyn K]

I couldn't agree more. So many people get distracted about what's on the outside, and forget to look at who's in the inside. So many only care about looks, and who has the best body to have sex with, but they forget to see that those things aren't important. Those aren't what give true love. It's the inside of a person. Something that is only found when you take the time to get to know a person and get interested into them as a person, not as a body. That's where you find true beauty.

I think it was what, 70% of people perceptions about you (and if they'll sleep with you or not ) is decided within the first 5 seconds of meeting you.

For all intents and purposes outward appearance is pretty much *everything*.

Physical attraction is KING.

[Ms Grace]

I might be an odd case, but I've met attractive women I didn't feel anything for because they were so puerile and shallow as people. What a turn off. I had a girlfriend once who, while no oil painting, was a great person and as a result incredibly sexually alluring. On the other hand, I know a guy who is so led by his visual sense it overrides his common sense, he tries to bed every nutty woman he knows with big boobs and it ends up causing all sorts of trouble in his personal life because he's so focused on what they have rather than who they are.

[Hikari]

I might be an odd case, but I've met attractive women I didn't feel anything for because they were so puerile and shallow as people. What a turn off. I had a girlfriend once who, while no oil painting, was a great person and as a result incredibly sexually alluring. On the other hand, I know a guy who is so led by his visual sense it overrides his common sense, he tries to bed every nutty woman he knows with big boobs and it ends up causing all sorts of trouble in his personal life because he's so focused on what they have rather than who they are.

I don't think that is odd at all, getting to know someone they can start to look really attractive....or really ugly. It all depends, I imagine most people are like that though.

[YinYanga]

All(4) my 'flings' were people who I wouldnt have fantasized over before I met them...I just melted when I listened to their voice, their ideas and the glow in their eyes. Size of their bum/bewbs/peepee or clothing wasnt really important

[mandonlym]

A number of studies have shown (sorry I don't have time to dig up right now) that external physical attractiveness in terms of mate selection is important when people are not in frequent contact, but over time, people who like each other personally become more and more attracted to each other regardless of their degree of physical attractiveness.

I noticed this when I was pre-op and it was harder for me to date, that male friends I got along with became attracted to me over time and I ended up dating a couple of them.

Post-op I've dated both people who became attracted to me upon initial meeting, and people who became attracted to me over time.

So in that sense, both outer and inner beauty are important, or at least personality-compatibility. I feel like a lot of the advantages of being externally attractive are not really about dating anyway. It's getting favors from strangers, and being more confident, which has a lot of rewards beyond dating.

[faye]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

- miss p