Can't Get Wet

[BatLadyMia]

This is honestly the one thing holding me back. I'm afraid of getting into a relationship where a man thinks I'm "normal" down there and it turns out I have a dry, sand-trap of a vagina and is disgusted by that.

In practice how does the fact that you always have to break out lube work with you and your partner? Is it completely dry down there? I've never had anything close to a romantic encounter so I hope I'm just over thinking things.

[Alice Rogers]

It's very common for people to go to the bathroom to 'freshen up' before sex or even cuddles. Maybe just apply a little lube internally at that stage?

[mrs izzy]

This is honestly the one thing holding me back. I'm afraid of getting into a relationship where a man thinks I'm "normal" down there and it turns out I have a dry, sand-trap of a vagina and is disgusted by that.

In practice how does the fact that you always have to break out lube work with you and your partner? Is it completely dry down there? I've never had anything close to a romantic encounter so I hope I'm just over thinking things.

You can ask your doctor to prescribe a estrogen vaginal cream to use. It will help with some of the dryness.

Maybe will help.

Isabell

[Jenna Marie]

I self-lubricate a bit. Possibly not enough for a marathon sex session, but plenty of cis women need a little help, too. (Mind you, I don't have sex with men, so I haven't actually had to deal with this - but I *have* had sex with a partner who had to pause after a while and reach into the nightstand drawer. It wasn't a big deal.)

There are also lube suppositories, which will melt slowly and provide ongoing lubrication, and which were invented to help cis women with this problem. http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/vaginal-dryness/articles/vaginal-dryness-how-to-choose-between-cream-lubrication-and-suppositories.htm I always figured if I were hypothetically in the situation where a guy called me on it, I'd say I was in surgical menopause - which is absolutely true - and that it's a little insensitive for him to make a fuss about it.

[suzifrommd]

I self-lubricate a bit. Possibly not enough for a marathon sex session, but plenty of cis women need a little help, too.

My wife always applied lube before we slept together.

[teeg]

You can ask your doctor to prescribe a estrogen vaginal cream to use.

OP is asking in regards to sexual relationships. Why would someone want estrogen cream in their vagina, especially considering someone who would want to have sex? Would their partner want estrogen cream on his penis?

but plenty of cis women need a little help, too.

My wife always applied lube before we slept together.

The most important aspect to self lubrication for either sex is arousal. If a woman needs lubricant this means she's either not aroused, too stressed, etc. Not only that but the man's role of self lubricating on his end is important as well.

Many SRS surgeons recommend testosterone supplements as the removal of the testis drops testosterone lower than CIS women's levels and this can help with self lubrication (not to mention sex drive, etc.).

[Jenna Marie]

Teeg : The estrogen cream is recommended for cis women to allow for greater lubrication later, and is not applied anywhere near the time of sex. It basically keeps the tissues more moist and flexible in general.

Also, that's just not true. Some cis women who *are* aroused have problems with lubrication, just like some cis men have issues with maintaining a fully hard erection. A woman who orgasms and is still suffering dryness presumably doesn't have an arousal problem. It's not ideal, but it's VERY common in menopausal women.

http://www.womens-health-concern.org/help/focuson/focus_vaginaldryness.html

http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginal-dryness-causes-moisturizing-treatments

Notice, for example, that some allergy medications and antihistamines can cause this issue temporarily - they're designed to dry out mucus membranes, after all, and not well targeted.


Also, supplementing T in a trans woman won't cause lubrication if she isn't already physically capable of it - not everyone is, post-GRS, and if there's no way for her body to produce lubrication, no amount of non-topical hormone treatment will help. (I'm not sure if E cream topically in the vagina might, as that might be more a question of getting lubricant to stay where it was put than causing her to produce any herself.)

[teeg]

Teeg : The estrogen cream is recommended for cis women to allow for greater lubrication later, and is not applied anywhere near the time of sex. It basically keeps the tissues more moist and flexible in general.

Also, that's just not true. Some cis women who *are* aroused have problems with lubrication, just like some cis men have issues with maintaining a fully hard erection. A woman who orgasms and is still suffering dryness presumably doesn't have an arousal problem. It's not ideal, but it's VERY common in menopausal women.

http://www.womens-health-concern.org/help/focuson/focus_vaginaldryness.html

http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/vaginal-dryness-causes-moisturizing-treatments

Notice, for example, that some allergy medications and antihistamines can cause this issue temporarily - they're designed to dry out mucus membranes, after all, and not well targeted.


Also, supplementing T in a trans woman won't cause lubrication if she isn't already physically capable of it - not everyone is, post-GRS, and if there's no way for her body to produce lubrication, no amount of non-topical hormone treatment will help. (I'm not sure if E cream topically in the vagina might, as that might be more a question of getting lubricant to stay where it was put than causing her to produce any herself.)

This is splitting hairs.

MOST women don't have problems with self lubrication. MOST women aren't on antihistamines, and many of those who are probably aren't experiencing problems with self lubrication because of this. Menopausal women probably aren't the most sexually active group so this is probably not their biggest concern. We don't experience menopause so this doesn't relate to us.

"Over two-thirds of male-to-females reported the secretion of a vaginal fluid during sexual excitation, originating from the Cowper's glands, left in place during surgery."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16362252

When the prostate is touched it excretes fluid as well. If both of these glands are left in place, and the patient can urinate, then why can't they self lubricate to some degree? Again it's most likely a hormonal issue.

My biggest concern with self lubrication is the question of the ENTIRE neo vaginal canal being lubricated. Prostatic fluid excretes through the urethra, as does pre ejaculate from the Cowper's glands. However, I recall hearing my surgeon talk about them rerouting these glands.

[mrs izzy]

This is splitting hairs.

MOST women don't have problems with self lubrication. MOST women aren't on antihistamines, and many of those who are probably aren't experiencing problems with self lubrication because of this. Menopausal women probably aren't the most sexually active group so this is probably not their biggest concern. We don't experience menopause so this doesn't relate to us.

"Over two-thirds of male-to-females reported the secretion of a vaginal fluid during sexual excitation, originating from the Cowper's glands, left in place during surgery."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16362252

When the prostate is touched it excretes fluid as well. If both of these glands are left in place, and the patient can urinate, then why can't they self lubricate to some degree? Again it's most likely a hormonal issue.

My biggest concern with self lubrication is the question of the ENTIRE neo vaginal canal being lubricated. Prostatic fluid excretes through the urethra, as does pre ejaculate from the Cowper's glands. However, I recall hearing my surgeon talk about them rerouting these glands.

Just shaking my head. WOW!

Not everything in life is perfect and everyone needs to take care of there own life. And if you can get wet that is so great but the OP has a honest question she asked and most of us try and offer some solutions.

Sorry you do not understand the use of estrogen vaginal cream in neo vigina, i do and it has help greatly. And no you use it as needed and i do not think many are so naive to use it for intercourse lubrication its self.

So back to the OP question there are many things that will help and need to do some research and ask your surgeon or GP for help.

Not to bust anyone's bubble but yes the neo vagina is closest to a menopause women in dryness.
Isabell

[Ryan55]

I wouldn't sweat it to much, this is common with cis women too who enter menopause, the T is starting to make my junk down below get dry too (not that i'm complaining, I don't do penetrative anyway), but using lube won't hurt, hell the guy might find it hot lol oral sex can help too

[Hikari]

My wife always applied lube before we slept together.

Same here, doctor said it was normal, and just to use lube and it is just the way some women are.....Not to get into a TMI moment but, even with manual stimulation all the way to climax, there wasn't enough lubrication for her not to experience pain. I had a partner previously who didn't even need any foreplay to be ready to go down there, people vary dramatically.

@OP:
Did you have the penile inversion style of surgery? I heard the colon style vaginaplasty has too much lubrication in some cases, but since I am pre-op I don't have any experience with either just curious about outcomes.

[BatLadyMia]

Thanks for the replies, everyone I'm pre-op and was honestly unaware that any wetness at all could be achieved down there. I'm on the verge of taking the leap, and this is the most distressing negative to me. I've no experience with this, so I'm just worried about being inadequate and unsatisfying. Having to pause and open a bottle of lube sounds like a bummer, but by now I've learned no one is prefect.

I've never thought about applying lubrication in private before the act, so that's very helpful. The estrogen cream discussed sounds like a really interesting option and something that I'd like to pursue, so thanks for bringing that up.

[calicarly]

You're obviously Nor interested in finding The Love Or your life Or a long term relationship or husband, a man that truly loves you wouldn't care about that and why would you want to hide a whole lifetime of struggle and fighting that if anything he probably would be proud of, guys aren't these horrible criticising creatures that a lot of people seem to think they are, not when they're in love with you. Now if you're worried about short term boyfriends that you want to keep the past a secret from then you're totally right to have those concerns and should just lube up often. Many new surgeons achieve a self lubricating vagina though so you probably wouldn't have that issue anyway.

[Rawb]

You can make the lube as part of the foreplay- just like, slather him up with it, or give him some and he can rub it on you. He'll probably enjoy it  ^.^

I was female-bodied and sometimes I would self-lubricate a lot, sometimes just a little bit, and sometimes not at all. I'm not sure if arousal actually has that much to do with it, it seemed pretty random.

[Vicky]

A note from old Trans* Granny here, but in case it rains while you are making love make sure HE puts his rubbers on or he will get cold. 

Most rubbers (condoms) come with a fair amount of lubrication on them to make life nice for both parties lube wise.  (We CAN get STD's and AIDS through vaginal or backdoor intercourse too.)  The image you are cis-would be highly improved by taking the precautions, and if you are younger, there are Contraceptive gels and foams that will not hurt us internally, but which are put in by using injection tubes, which can be used in foreplay, some products even taste good if he likes that sort of thing. 

I do self lubricate to the point that a condom that was fresh from its container would give "him" enough time to finish his job and I am "post menopausal" age wise but still on HRT.  At every Pride event I went to, there were several booths from Pleasure Lubricant merchants, and some claimed to be both super slippery, and some gave a variety of sensations.  I actually tried a couple of samples during my dilation sessions, and they were not bad.  Do not use that kind of stuff in the first year Post though, unless an OB/GYN gives you a green light.