I really want to come out

[katy_k]

I think i mentioned something in my introduction and a bit in the chat last night but i really want to come out to my mum but i dont know if i can or how to go about it. It's not that i need her to see a therapist as ive got that sorted out myself, its that i feel im hiding something from her and i dont like being dishonest.

Somehow I think feeling this way makes me feel selfish as mum had to make a lot of sacrifices growing up. The problem is that I know im a woman and I need to tell her.

[rosey]

ik how u feel but only thing can do is be honest and give her time
im inside closet still but i have been thinking baout all the time
food for thought
rosey

[lizbeth]

it's hard to do, but you will feel better after you do it. even if it doesn't go well, it's still a giant burden lifted. I just came out to my mom at xmas.

don't look at it as being selfish, like you said you aren't being honest with her now, so even if the truth does hurt a little it's better to be honest to her.

does she know anything at all? ever caught you growing up or anything like that? you might find that she already knows and just chooses not to bring up the subject.

either way, good luck and I hope it goes really good for mom and daughter.

[vanna]

Hi Katie

i can only really repeat what Eliza beth said. You need to be true to yourself and dont live a lie. She maybe hurt she may not but unless you tell her your never know.

Some do it in letters or emails or in person, you know your mum the best and what she will respond to best.

Just be confident and tell her how you have always really felt, often mums love is much stronger than we give credit to.

Tough job, but very rewarding when it all works out fine

Good luck.

[samantha1976ts]

i hated getting to the point of deciding to come out, i was terrified and sadd at the same time due to the shame family might feel or friends about me.
but in order for you to be happy and live a good life you have to be honest with yourself and truely feel what you are is not a sickness but a gift that many dont experience because thru our trials and tribulations we have over come so many things others couldnt fathem. gays,lesbians,bi sexuals,ts,cd,gq, and so but transgender is something more confusing then anyone could understand .
we are someone who feels that we are not what we should have been or what we were born as. and thats hard for people to register.
i was alone in my world for many years before i excepted that i was transgender m2f but just think of the joy you will have when you decide to let go and enjoy who you are and not what others want you to be.and you'll find the real happines in the closet where you will turn the light on.but dont let your happines get away grab it and cherish it ...

  love nikki transgender and proud..

[katherine]

Hi Katie,
I don't know if you've come out to your mom or not.  I did, though it was over the phone, as I'm in NC and she in MI.  I was extremely depressed and absolutely needed to talk to someone.  I decided to call her.  It was a great relief for me and she was very supportive.  She told my sisters also and like her, they were supportive.  I was somewhat surprised and expected something less than that.  A few weeks later, in a letter, she said she wasn't really surprised, which I was very surprised to hear.  She said my behavior as a child was her clue.  I didn't know that my behavior was so obvious.  Anyway, as indicated by the others, coming out to your mother could be good for both of you.

[Lacey Lynne]

it's hard to do, but you will feel better after you do it. even if it doesn't go well, it's still a giant burden lifted. I just came out to my mom at xmas.

don't look at it as being selfish, like you said you aren't being honest with her now, so even if the truth does hurt a little it's better to be honest to her.

does she know anything at all? ever caught you growing up or anything like that? you might find that she already knows and just chooses not to bring up the subject.



either way, good luck and I hope it goes really good for mom and daughter.

Hi!  The quote here by Elizabeth rings very true.  Unburden yourself.  This is excellent advice that she has given you.  I decided to come out right away and mailed the letter to my mother just a few days ago.  I'm telling my S.O. this evening.  I DO have one major-league, big-time advantage going for me.  Her sister's husband is TG and came out a few years back, so everyone has had time to be shocked, grieve, resign and then accept.  The whole point is that a huge burden is finally off of you.  It's worth it!

Remember this:  Often times, it's not even what you say; it's how you say it.  Put yourself in the hearer's mindset.  What do THEY think?  What would make them more accepting on hearing your news?  What would the hearer have to hear for you to "make the sale?"  In commercial life, it's called copywriting.  In personal life, it's called diplomacy.

Think of it FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE.  What would the hearer of your news have to hear to make it more bearable?  Just my opinion.  It worked very well for me. 

We're all cheering for you.  You can do it.  Hugs!