The Name Dilemma

[Human]

I have had thoughts and feelings strongly concurrent with gender dysphoria for awhile now, but not actually taking action so far out of fear. I want to nail a plan out before I even consider coming out to the family or starting transition. So recently the matter of a name has come to mind.

What do I want to be called by and identify with for the rest of my life?

I have naturally been one to take huge  amounts of time to think things over and end up dissatisfied after the decision. I want a link to my family so I feel as if I should retain my first name, Ethan, in some form while I also want to distance myself from that person I have tried so hard to be. I think that can be solved by feminizing Ethan to Etana and making it a middle name, so I can then choose a new first name.

Original Name: Ethan

Most Liked: Evangeline Etana

Other names I like: Scarlett, Imogen, Miranda, Victoria, Mary, and Tegan.

I have mostly figured out what I like, but I would like to know everyone's opinion on how these names roll off the tongue, which one you like the best, alternatives, and etc.

P.S.- First real thread!

[Ms Grace]

For your own safety you shouldn't post your whole name here - it will show up in Google searches. Click on the modify button in the post to edit if you want to.

This question comes up frequently. You really need to be the one who chooses your own name. I could tell you I like Evangaline and Scarlett but that is because I'm partial to them. Others will tell you other names they like. You need to choose a name you like, that you feel can be who you are. I started out as Stephanie Grace but then decided I liked Grace so much that I would be changing my name to that. It has worked well for me. Your name needs to work for you. Don't feel like your first choice will be your final choice. Pick something you like and use it for a few months to see if it grows on you. If not, choose another.

[Kylie]

I do like Scarlett and Evangeline as well, but what Grace says is totally true.  Everyone will give you an answer specific to the feelings that the name evokes for them.  You need to find a name that is good specific to the way it makes you feel.  Chances are, you may change it a couple times until something just clicks.  If you have a therapist, make sure you have them use the name to see how it feels.  I just picked Kylie because i liked it and needed to come up with an email name real quick.  After my therapist began using it, I was like, ew, and knew it wasn't a fit for me.

[Jessica Merriman]

My Therapist suggested using a name not connected to or an offshoot of my male name. The thinking was hearing a like sounding name would just reinforce being trans and continue to cause some distress. His theory was new you, new name. I totally ran with it and feel no discomfort now to my previous existence. It worked VERY well in my case. You might consider this as well. 

[Jill F]

I decided to keep my first initial intact, but that was about it.  There were (thankfully) no female versions of my male name to choose from.

For similar reasons, I also did not want to have a name with an obvious male counterpart (like Michelle, Nicole, or Brianna) because I figured everyone would just make that assumption about my original name.

Now people just think I must have used to be a "Jack". 

Well, that one blew up in mah face.

Seiously, choose a name that lights up your brain in a happy way when you hear it called and that fits you like a glove.  I know "Jill" is plain and boring as all hell, but I assure you that I am not.

[janetcgtv]

Human:

You should pick your own name not what others will like about certain names. Remember you are the one who will have to live with your choice. The only name you might take is the one your mother may have named you if you would have been born female. My Mom would have named me Penelope when she found my cousin's favorite blouse(also my favorite blouse although I'm not the owner) in my closet.

AS Jessica says pick a name that is not a part of your male name.

Unfortunately when I named myself Janet, three of the letters are from my male name.

Also please drop your last name as MS Grace says about your security may be compromised here because of your last name . If you value your security please edit your last name out of your post.

[janetcgtv]

Hey Jill:

I don't think anyone will connect you with Jack and Jill as in the nursery rhyme.

OOPS ??

Have a lovely day Jill as you do have a beautiful name.

[Jessica Merriman]

I know "Jill" is plain and boring as all hell, but I assure you that I am not.

Don't we know that!! 

[Human]

Don't worry, I would never put my actual last name online. I modified it a bit, but removed it anyway as per your recommendations. As for naming I completely agree with everyone's points. I'll probably try my favorite out for awhile after I come out, maybe try others until I feel I am happy with one. Thanks for the feedback!

[gennee]

Choose a name that you're most comfortable with. My name is a creation of mine for the name Genevieve. There are a lot of ladies here named Genevieve here at Susan's so I got creative.

[Megumi]

My parents wanted me to use an offshoot of my male name. I would NOT change my mind on the name that had been with me since I was little. At least I kept the first letter of my name the same though so my parents could still tell the M & M's candy joke about naming their daughters haha.