Coming Out?

[LyraScarlet]

I'm in a weird situation so I'll do my best to explain it. About a year a go I came out to my Mother about being transgender, I wrote a letter and left it for her to find. She was very supportive and nice about it however when she wanted to talk about it I just started to seize up and couldn't talk. After two weeks of awkwardness where I couldn't bring myself to talk about it with her I just said that it was a phase even though I knew it definitely wasn't. So now a year later I have decided that I need to come out properly otherwise I will get nowhere. My only problem is that I have a lot of trouble talk to people, be it face to face or over the phone, so I'm not sure if I can pluck up the courage to do it again. I honestly have no idea how I did it the first time, I guess because it was a letter made it easier which is why I have no problem talking online about things. I have also been thinking that it will only be a couple of years before i'm old enough to live on my own and see a gender therapist without parental permission, though the same problem of not being able to talk to people will still apply and I doubt I will be courageous enough to seek one out and talk to him / her.

I know I sound like such an idiot but I really want to come out and transition because I want to be who I am on the inside but I just feel so nervous and scared to do so. What should I do?

[suzifrommd]

Consider praying for the courage to tell your parents.

I'm not big on God, so I pray to my inner strength. It works just as well if I'm asking for courage.

You have the courage, I promise. You only need to find it.

Please don't wait or put it off - you're denying yourself the opportunity to learn who you could be.

Good luck. What you're doing is really hard, but you do have the strength.

[Bombadil]

I am not good on the phone at all and I'm not good talking about myself face to face. I did tell a lot of people through email. And then said they could talk to me. It worked. It was hard but I am so, so glad I did it. And it gets easier. Especially after some people know because they can help in the telling. You can do this. Maybe write your mom a letter again and tell her your fears of seizing up and not being able to talk. She may be able to help.

Also, are you seeing a therapist. My therapist and I talked a lot about telling someone. I know, if you have troubles talking the idea of getting a therapist is really scary but it's helpful.

[Gina Taylor]

If you've got the time and the resources, I'd suggest to try out a few therapists and decide which one you feel most comfortable with.

Over the past 12 years I've seen a lot of therapists, and about a year ago, I finally found one that was around my age, and we clicked from the first meeting, and everything has gone great ever since. So if you can find some one who will listen and will give you a bias opinion on things and you feel comfortable with then I'd say go with him/her. 

[LyraScarlet]

I guess I just need the courage to tell my parents straight, kinda lacking that courage at the moment but I'm going to try and find it.

[Jessica Merriman]

It is probably the hardest step any of us took in transition.

[Rachel]

Coming out was very difficult. I am out to 20 or so people. The 1st was the hardest and it gets progressively easier.

If you can put it in words then write a letter. Put down that you have a very difficult time talking about it and need their help. Be honest and truthful. Do not hold back and remember always remain calm and respectful.

The sooner the better unless you fear physical reprisal.

[Gina Taylor]

Coming out was very difficult. I am out to 20 or so people. The 1st was the hardest and it gets progressively easier.

I agree 100% with Cynthia. The more I told the easier it got.